- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
June 2012 Moms
Anyone else know next to nothing about pregancy & babies?
Hi ladies,
Quick introduction: I'm 34, married for 9 years and just found out that I (we) are knocked up (due end of June).
We have been DINKs for a long time and live in Center City Philadelphia. Both of us are only children and neither of us has so much has changed a diaper before.
We just decided to TTC and figured it would take a while as I have been on the pill since I was a teenager. Needless to say I got a BFP my first cycle when I was busy researching how to conceive and hadn't got to the being pregnant part yet! 
I'm equal parts delighted and scared crapless.
Sooooo, I am trying to work out how this all works. I went to the dr and had a blood test so it's all confirmed. Right now I'm trying to choose between the convenient hospital in Center City with variable reviews, or the one 25 minutes drive away with a better reputation. Any thoughts?
Also how does a midwife fit into all this? Is a doula the same thing as a midwife? Do you request the services of a midwife when talking to the OBGYN? Yeah - you get the idea about how clueless we are!
The hospital OBGYN appointment is booked for 8 weeks. Any idea what happens at that appointment? Do we hear the heartbeat, or is that for the next appointment? What's all this business about beta?
Any tips for questions I should ask at the first appointment? If I don't like the OBGYN will I be able to change, or is it too late once I've committed?
I know it's super early, but is there stuff I should be doing, or do I have time to work things out as time goes? I don't want to miss something vital!
I am taking a pre natal vitamin - the gummies. I've read they don't have much iron. Do you ladies take an additional iron supplement? The dr just gave me some chewable pre natals and I took one this morning. It was disgusting. So i think I want to stick with the gummies for a while... but don't want to be short on iron.
I also know not to eat sushi and other raw fish and meat, no booze and I don't smoke anyway. I'm planning to continuing my work outs at a lower level (trying to keep heart rate below 150) and I'm trying to limit my sugar a bit (I am a sugar fiend).
I'm not sure about drinks - I don't drink coffee, but I do like my tea. I read that herbal teas should be avoided along with caffinated teas. What about mint tea? Chai? I suspect that drinking only water is going to get old pretty fast.
Anyway, this turned out longer than I had expected. I appreciate any comments and hope to get a pretty steep learning curve going these coming weeks!
Then I'll move on to what to actually do with our baby when it arrives! 
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Anyone else know next to nothing about pregancy & babies?
WOW!! That is a LOT of questions!
Maybe you should spend some time with Google and looking back at previous posts here and on the 1st Trimester board. When I first came here I learned a great dal by just searching back through old posts.
Congratulations!
Oh believe me I am googling like crazy (NEVER google 'baby crowning' - OMG I can never unsee that!!) and many of my questions actually come from reading posts on here.
I have just enough knowledge to make me realize I know nothing. Lol.
I'd never heard of betas before looking here, and just thought everyone did the OBGYN thing until googling and discovering that lots of people use midwives (wifes?) instead/ as well as the doctor.
I'll keep looking, but at the minute looking is adding questions rather than reducing them!
I'm saying pretty calm for the most part - mostly I seem to be maintaining a reasonable sense of humor about it all. Occassionally I have flashes of all the stuff we will need to get in order, but I do recognize that we have a reasonable amout of time to get sorted out. I just don't want to miss something important early on through lack of knowledge.
Thanks for responding!
~ MC April 2015 at 16 weeks
~ Current DD 10/2016
Lol, ok. I realize there were a lot of questions.
If anyone would like to just pick one or two of them to answer, that would be great too.
Ok. Doulas and midwives are not the same thing. A midwife is trained/certified to provide prenatal care and deliver babies in most settings(generally high risk pregnancies are supervised by an OB). If you're interested in seeing a midwife you could ask your OB for a recommendation.
A doula is more of an advocate for the mother and her partner. Some women meet with their doulas throughout the pregnancy and others just have them as an extra coach/encourager during labor. You can also get a post-partum doula to help out afterwards. Most doulas are pretty well versed in coaching through a pain-med free birth.
As far as the vitamins go, I don't think iron comes into play until later in the pregnancy. If you're concerned you're not getting enough, check with your OB at your appointment.
Hope this helps a little! You'll learn a lot from these boards!
THANK YOU!!
I'm sure I'll start to get a grip on it all soon. Baby steps.
One of my friends had a baby nurse move in for 3 or 4 weeks after she gave birth - it seemed crazy expensive to me, but something to consider for the first few days perhaps?
So would you go for a good hospital that is convenient but has some issues, or a great hospital that is less convenient?
I totally understand and you are just normally obsessed with all things pregnancy in the beginning. You can't help yourself., neither could most of us when we started TTC or got our first BFP.
1.The hospital is usually determined by which OB or Midwife you choose. They usually only deliver at one or two hospitals. So pick your OB or midwife first. Do you have friends or coworkers that have delivered at either hospital? It's always nice to have some real world reviews.
2. Some OB practices have midwifes that you can use for prenatal care and delivery. Some midwives have their own practices. I think the general thinking is that midwives are more hands on during your pregnancy and spend more time with their patients. But a lot of OB's are just as good with patient care/bedside manner. It's a personal choice. Maybe post or search for a OB vs. Midwife post? I'm sure people can share their thoughts.
A doula is someone who is trained to help you through childbirth. You really only need a doula if you want a unmedicated birth. They are wonderful at helping women deal with the pain and changes during child birth.
3. At 8 weeks, it just totally depends on your OB. You could have an US and see/hear the baby or it could just be a pap smear and basic appt. You need to call your OB office and ask what to expect.
Betas are blood draws to measure HCG levels. When you become pregnant it produces HCG in your blood. It should keep rising as the baby grows in the first several weeks of pregnancy. Some doctors do betas to check for progression in pregnancy, test for possible ectopic, dating of the pregnancy. Others don't do it at all. It isn't necessarily a good or bad thing to have. Just different circumstances for everyone and different OB opinions.
4. Ask any question you want. Start writing them down so you will remember. Do you take any medication or supplements? It's good to check what is ok.
5. You can always change practices, but it may be harder towards the end. Some won't accept new patients if they are already very close to the end. This shouldn't be a problem for you. I think it's pretty rare.
6. You should just be trying to take care of yourself. Relax, eat well, take your vitamins, and avoid the big No No's that you already know about. Your body will take care of that baby, first all the time. It is naturally trying to take anything it needs from you, so you take care and be healthy and so will your baby.
7. I don't know about the pre natals since I take regular ones. Ask your OB at your appt. You'll be ok until then either way.
8. You can have up to 200 mg of caffeine a day, so check your teas for caffeine content. Some are very high in caffeine. I'm not really a tea girl so either google "pregnancy safe teas" or ask in a post here. That's a simple question.
Get some pregnancy books. I really liked Your Pregnancy Week by Week. I felt like it gave me good info and let me know what the baby was developing each week.
Congratulations! You'll be a great Mom and already are trying to be so prepared. And don't worry about buying baby stuff yet. There is plenty of time for that and babies are really good with some onesies, diapers, something to sleep in, and food. They are pretty easy to please. At least at first.
H&H 9 months to you!
Not trying to be contrary, but I disagree with this. When you become pregnant your body almost immediately increases circulation and starts to produce more blood. Iron is a very important throughout pregnancy. I only know this because I'm so anemic I'm under the care of a hematologist.
The gummy vitamins are great, but if you just can't do a regular prenatal, grab an additional iron supplement.
Thanks so much for your responses. SO much appreciated!
I think I'm going to wander off to a book shop today and see what books they have.
Thanks again!!
Try Mayo Clinic's Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy. It's a great book. Good luck!
Yeah, LOL. Take a deep breath. Most of the moms on here have never been pregnant before and are just as overwhelmed as you are. I know I was at first.
Tackle this one subject at a time. Do a little googling (don't take Dr. Google too seriously though) And read the boards, and read and read and read some more. Also, browse through some of the other months boards where the ladies are further along to see what they are going through. Get a week by week pregnancy book.
And take this time to think ahead and get the book Baby411 to learn what to do with your kiddo once they arrive. Pregnancy is the easy part. Your body will do what it needs to do, and somehow the baby will come out. (a childbirth class at your hospital might help you as well) Now is the time to learn how to handle a newborn, bathing, swaddling, sleep schedules and training, etc.
You will be fine, millions of women have done this before and done well, so much comes naturally, you will be surprised.
Congratulations, welcome, and happy and healthy 9 months to you.
Ok, I can address this because my parents gift to us was a night time nurse for the first 2 weeks.
Yes, it is prohibitively expensive, and I could not have spent that money for it. But, wow, was it nice. The nurses primary job is to let you sleep. So I would breastfeed at 10pm and hand the baby over and go to bed. The nurse would burp, diaper, swaddle and get him to sleep. A newborn needs to eat every 3 hours, and a feeding can last 30-60 minutes. So when he woke up at 1am, she would feed him pumped milk, and again at 4am. (Some nights I would wake up at 3 or 4am to pump to keep up my milk supply, but that only took 15 min. and then I would go right back to bed) She would wake me at 6am when she would leave and I would take over.
That first week after giving birth your body needs to heal, and rest, which also helps your milk come in. While a nurse is a luxury, if you can afford it or someone gifts one, do it!
I am new to the whole pregnancy thing as well. I'm 7 wks 4dys today. I hadn't prepared as I was told by multiple doctor's I wasn't suppose to get pregnant. LOL.
When it comes down to OB's, duola and midwives it is totally preference. You can check into multiple OB's if you want and find one you like. I would do it sooner than later though because of continuity of care. They are going to want to be with you from the beginning who ever it is. Prenatal care is especially important. I work with individuals with developmental disabilities and about half of my client's mom's said they wish they had a doctor that was more proactive with testing because it could have reduced or even prevented complications during or after birth and in several cases would have prevented the condition. ( Cerebrayl Palys: the lack of oxygen right before, during or immediately following birth) So my suggest is get in as quick as you can. I have already had 2 US because of my health conditions but I wouldn't have had them if I didn't fight the nurses for them. I found it also to be extremely helpful to speak to the same sympathetic nurse every time instead of bouncing from phone nurse to phone nurse. I also spoke with my doctor about this so he knows if there is anything to be communicated to me from his office it should come through the nurse.
When it comes to prenatal vitamins, I also take the gummies. My stomach can't handle the pills especially with my morning sickness sticking around for the whole day. I am using the Vitafusion. I am taking a DHA supplement that is suppose to support brain development. There has not been a recommended daily dose of DHA but I had a pharmacist check into the prescribed amount and she said it comes in 150mg and 200mg. I use the Belly Bar DHA chewy supplements. They are orange flavored and they remind me of starbursts. I got them at Walgreens. They are a little pricey so I only take 1 supplement which is 100 mg and with the already 50mg in my prenatals I think I'm pretty safe.
When it comes to hiring a nurse. Not necessary but might be needed. I have plans for my mom to stay with me the first week or so. Then I know I will have a sister or two who are going to come try and stay. See if you have any familiy that is willing whether it be his family or yours.
Along with sushi you are also suppose to limit your fish intake and only stick to certain kinds. I'm not a big fish eater so I'm not sure what they are but I avoid it in general. I have also been informed to stay away from things like cold meat, honey and soft cheeses like blue, bri and gouda as it can breed a very dangerious bacteria that can harm the baby. I would ask your OB/ doula/midwife for more information.
I have read, especially depending on where you live and how well you trust your water supply, that you shouldn't drink unfiltered water. I found a cheap and easy went to make sure I am drinking it is by buying and using a Brita filter system. I fill my water bottles at night and the container back up and I have them for work in the morning. You can also get Brita bottles that filter the water where ever you are. So you can have filtered water at like the mall or zoo. I found this very handy as I am in the community alot.
To help with water boardem. Crystal light bottle packets are great. You get flavored water with out any caffine and not very much sugar or calorie increased calorie intake. I also find it helpful to hide any Mirlax or Metamucil I might need for the occasional constipation. ( lots of details but possibly useful).
I hope you find this information useful. I'm in the same boat. I have alot to learn as well and we are due not to far apart.