Did anyone else agree/not on Team Green vs. finding out?

corndog8 · October 2011

We head to our a/s in 4 wks and DH and I haven't agreed on whether to find what we are having. Me= total anal planner but actually doesn't want to know, DH = not as much a planner, but does want to know. He feels like he wants it to be more "real" for him, being able to call the baby his son or daughter instead of baby. I said that once he can feel the baby, it will be more real... ....

I know it's harder on the Hubbys as they aren't going through what we are but should I bend and find out so he feels better? Anyone else run into this? Any ideas?

Thx!

smallfry5909 · October 2011

I will say that we were on Team Green with our first, but decided to find out this time because it did, for us, make things more real and make it seem like this was really going to happen for us.

DH loves talking to my belly and calling LO his "princess" and sweet girl and all of that. It's so heart-melting that I am thrilled we made the decision. It really helps him connect with the baby. However, I was so staunchly Team Green the first time that I can see your POV.

I guess I look at it as "Who cares more?" If you firmly believe in waiting, then you should wait. But if you're already on the fence about it, maybe find out? Good luck with whatever you decide, either way it'll be the right choice!

williams4me · October 2011

What about letting him find out? Would he be able to keep that secret from you though??

We were pretty equal in terms of wanting to know. I too am an avid planner, love to have a schedule and a plan and 30 calendars around me at all times. lol

Now it's nice because we refer to him by his name instead of "baby"! Smile

Froggy76 · October 2011

We didn't really disagree, but DH wanted to find out and I was on the fence and gave in. I've always assumed I would want to know, but after my loss I truly didn't care if LO was a boy or a girl, so I thought it might be fun to wait. DH doesn't deal well with change (he actually does fine, but he *thinks* he doesn't deal well), so he wanted to have as few unknowns as possible.

We decided to find out, and it ended up being really good for me because I was having trouble bonding with this LO, and knowing she's a girl helped make things more real. For DH, I don't know that it's really made a difference. He still just refers to her as "baby" and sometimes calls her "it" instead of "she"!

cubsgirl13 · October 2011

I would not bend on this one. I didn't have this problem because DH and I both want to be Team Green, but I just think you will be a lot more disappointed/regretful if you do find out when you didn't want to than he will be at not finding out (hopefully that makes sense!)

I have talked to SO MANY families that didn't find out, and they say it is the most amazing experience!

Like you, I am a total anal planner, but that's why I don't want to find out. This is the one surprise left in life! I feel like the suspense that builds up throughout the pregnancy makes it that much more special than finding out at the a/s. Maybe you can try to convince YH on these points! Good luck!

clarks415 · October 2011

We are Team Green. Although DH also wants to know. We found out with our son. I feel like once you have been through what we all have losing babies, it really doesn't matter which sex the baby is.

I already have a little boy so people keep assuming I want a little girl, the truth is it REALLY doesn't matter. I truly REALLY do just want a healthy LO.

I just tried to talk my DH up by saying that he'll be the one to spread the big word once the baby makes his/her entry into the world. And I think he's come to look forward to that moment more than the one in the ultrasound room before hand.

~SandyB~ · October 2011

Maybe so you could still have somewhat of a surprise, you could have them put the sex in an envelope and then do the thing where someone bakes a cake with the color on the inside, or I saw this on pinterest and loved it--have a party store fill helium balloons in pink or blue and put them in a dark bag or box and then open it together and have someone catch that moment on camera.

Just some ideas- but if you really want to wait, I say stick with it!

mwitter80 · October 2011

DH really wants to know and I don't. So I'm actually thinking about letting him know. It can be his own little secret. He even said he'll decorate the nursery and everything and then surprise me with it. Obviously, I would pick out things I would want either way, but he will get it all and piece everything together. It's so early and I might change my mind, but this is the plan for now.

pottermommy · October 2011

I was ok with not knowing, but DH really really really wanted to know, and incidentally we would have accidentally found out anyways since it was the first visible thing on the screen and was yeah unmistakealbe boy parts.....

He was so so so scared and distant the whole beginning of the pregnancy, he didn't talk baby or touch the belly or call me pregnant or anything, he just kinda stayed out of it.

But all of the sudden for him it was real, his was going to have a son, his first and only little boy, the only one to carry on his last name....He became a son, not any unknown entity, and DH suddenly was Daddy, and was going to do all these cool things that he wished his dad would have done.

I am glad we found out because it actually made him part of the pregnancy and now I am the one scared to talk about the future and to abondon the what ifs and DH is always like, I hope he has your and Kam's eyes, or should you teach him to throw a football and baseball because you are better at it than me......He does really really well at cheering me up and it is awesome to see how much pride he takes already in telling people about his son.

sabrina69barnes · October 2011

We agreed to be team green. This is going to be our last baby assuming we get a take home baby. We found out with all our other kids so we want a suprise this time. We don't have to plan the way a frist time parent would since we already have most of the baby stuff we will need.

corndog8 · October 2011

Thanks ladies I think I agree with some that it's the excitement in the delivery room, waiting for DH to say what it is...... But I also agree that it might help him bond with LO a little more if he could call it his son or daughter. I also like the envelope idea and we talked about that since the very next day would be Thanksgiving (we are having 2, one thur and sat.) so we could share with the first set of family Thurs. Such a hard decision.....

I also talked to DH that I would like to try for 2 children and we could find out with one and not the other but he is pretty stubborn and just doesn't like that idea either so..... guess we'll see what 4 weeks brings.

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Did anyone else agree/not on Team Green vs. finding out?

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