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April 2012 Moms
cuppaco
member
Name Calling @ Lunch Today (bloggy/vent)
cuppaco
member
Two women, a grandma (I guess the womens' mother), and two little girls sat next to me, my DH, and my MIL at a tiny Chinese restaurant today at lunch. The girls (probably 2-3), whined, cried, screeched, stood in chairs, threw fries in the floor, and squabbled throughout the whole meal. After my MIL asked them to please quiet the kids during lunch, and it didn't happen (the group laughed it off) as we were leaving my MIL said something to the table. It wasn't the most polite tone, but something along the lines of "Courteous parents would have calmed the children down outside for the sake of everyone else enjoying lunch".
Immediately, the one mother's response was to call MIL a rude wh000re! In front of the entire restaurant and the kids. DH said "What did you say to my mother", one lady grabbed her stomach and said, "How dare he (DH) act like that, I'm pregnant". (Like that is an excuse). My DH got super defensive and was turning red, and I told him to walk his mother outside. I intervened (because I can't keep my mouth shut in these situations and the women were still yelling at my DH and MIL walking out) all I said was that this could have been solved by walking your kids outside for a few minutes to calm them down. More insults at me (wh00re, b!tch, fat, ect..) and she can't wait until I have kids (pointing at my pregnant belly and being snarky). When I questioned the appropriate of using such language and setting this example in front of two small kids, the adults at the table jumped up I thought I was going to get hit. So, turned told them to have a nice day, and left. (Plus I don't want to get banned from the only decent Chinese restaurant in our tiny town).
If I wasn't 5 months pregnant, I would have let her/them hit me. I'm am still super PO'ed, still an hour later. People can call me what they want, but call my elderly MIL that and think it is acceptable to do that in front of children in public. FTLOG.
Immediately, the one mother's response was to call MIL a rude wh000re! In front of the entire restaurant and the kids. DH said "What did you say to my mother", one lady grabbed her stomach and said, "How dare he (DH) act like that, I'm pregnant". (Like that is an excuse). My DH got super defensive and was turning red, and I told him to walk his mother outside. I intervened (because I can't keep my mouth shut in these situations and the women were still yelling at my DH and MIL walking out) all I said was that this could have been solved by walking your kids outside for a few minutes to calm them down. More insults at me (wh00re, b!tch, fat, ect..) and she can't wait until I have kids (pointing at my pregnant belly and being snarky). When I questioned the appropriate of using such language and setting this example in front of two small kids, the adults at the table jumped up I thought I was going to get hit. So, turned told them to have a nice day, and left. (Plus I don't want to get banned from the only decent Chinese restaurant in our tiny town).
If I wasn't 5 months pregnant, I would have let her/them hit me. I'm am still super PO'ed, still an hour later. People can call me what they want, but call my elderly MIL that and think it is acceptable to do that in front of children in public. FTLOG.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Name Calling @ Lunch Today (bloggy/vent)
Ugh. Now that's a situation where I DO feel sorry for their children because 1. they will not learn any manners ever and 2. they will grow up treating people the same way.
Disgusting. Rude and uncalled for. Props to you for maintaining your cool.
I am a child welfare attorney, I can't let behavior like this slide. I have a cold, can't take meds (that work), haven't slept good in 3 days, and all I wanted the soup, so I wasn't 100% on my game, so I wish in hindsight I was more articulate.
Maybe I'm jaded, but I deal with abused/neglected/abandoned children at my job and I know that their parents have obvious parenting defects (and would think this behavior is appropriate). I just don't expect it in the general population.
When I was pregnant with my second son, my DH, son and I were walking around target. We were buying a car seat for my son and had it in our basket. It was hard to see around and my DH accidentally bumped a woman. He apologized and yet she continued to tell him to watch where he was going, blah, blah, blah. I told her he apologized and she should move on. She called me a b^#&#. I told her how classy she sounds and that set her off. She was all in my face telling me to say it to her face! lol..I told her if you dont get out of my face and calm down, I am calling the cops and telling them you assaulted me. She was doing this granted in front of my son. This got her to back off.
Sorry, your story reminded me of this! Some people are so trashy!!!!!
I'm on freaking BP meds now (4x a day). The Dr. wants me more horizontal than vertical as much as possible. I spend Thurs-Fri working from home in bed or on the sofa, and stay as relaxed a possible on Sat-Sun. I haven't been to lunch with my MIL in months (since before I knew we were pregnant), so this was a nice thing to get out of the house for a couple of hours. I really try to limit my outings to once a day, and *THAT* was my outing of the day. I can only work 8 hours a day from the office (which is hard with my job), and I feel pressured to stay calm in very confrontational/adversarial career where I need to be ready zealously litigate at a moments notice.
I posted this on another board I belong too, and they seem to think I exacerbated the situation by engaging them and everybody was in the wrong - including me. I really like them, but they are not known for their hand-patting or sugar coating things, maybe that is why I like them. For some reason, that is really rubbing me the wrong way today....maybe its just today.
My dad's business partner (who is a close family friend) died this morning, and my dad found out he has some coronary artery disease that requires surgery, I was told that this morning too.
Today sucks.
I am with everyone else, you handled the situation very maturely and like a lady. I would like to think I would have to, but I know some potty words would have come out of my mouth, making me just as lady like as them.
Im sure those kids will have behavioral issues, not to mention quite the mouths on them.
That would have worked, if the waitress hadn't already asked them to quiet down (we didn't ask) and they mocked her broken english and continued to let the kids run wild. I'm not justifying my MIL's approach, but their response was unnecessary to the 100th degree.
The waitress (who English was not her first language) asked them to quiet down prior to my MIL telling them anything (or even asking the waitress). They laughed it off and mocked the waitress' english. Whatever, I'm over it.