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February 2012 Moms
goldenleaves
member
Anticipating NICU time
goldenleaves
member
I'm having a bit of a "why me" day. As you know, our baby has Down syndrome. When we first found out my #1 question was if we'd get to take our baby home with us. I think the high-risk team didn't want to overwhelm me, so they kind of skirted the question.
My regular OB said it's pretty standard for at least a few days in the NICU. I'm on a Down syndrome message board so I asked over there. Everyone one of their babies had at least a few days of NICU time.
I'm feeling sad and she isn't even here yet.
I was a NICU baby myself. I was early and weighed 2lbs 12oz. I spend over a month in the NICU and my dad still has a tough time talking about it. I've seen from them how hard it can be. Am I strong enough for this? Today, I feel like I'm not.
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Re: Anticipating NICU time
You're human!
Just teasing you...you always have such a fantastic attitude, you get to have a "why me" day!
Deep down, you know that your beautiful little girl will be strong because her mommy is so strong...those days in the NICU will seem insignificant compared to all the wonderful days you will have with her at home!
It's so good to prepare yourself for these things now, as long as you don't dwell on it. *Hugs*
My nephew had to spend some time in the NICU after he was born due to some breathing problems. We were only there a few days (I was along as a nanny to nephew #1). I'm not going to lie, it was a pretty difficult place to be.
Not so much because of my nephew, he was fine and improved steadily (as I'm sure your little girl will) it was just hard seeing all the other babies. Many of them were incredibly tiny and never had any visitors. We spent a lot of time at the hospital for those few days and the little girl next to my nephew never had anyone there. It's one of those situations where you just want to love them all and take them home.
♥ Married since June 2009 ♥
TW: Living children & Losses:
Pregnant after 4 losses via IVF/FET with daughter "Gamma" (EDD Oct 2, 2019)
Are you strong enough for this? Yes. You don't always need to feel like it. It's ok to have your days where you get overwhelmed. It's perfectly understandable. But watching you cope with everything in stride so far, I have no doubts that you will be able to get through this as well.
You ARE strong enough for this. And spending a few days in the NICU will be the best place for her, if that's what needs to be done.
I know being a mommy is tough at times but just remember you are a wonderful strong mom!
You're strong enough!!
I was a NICU baby too (was it even called a NICU in the 1970s?) and stayed 6 weeks in the hospital. My parents just say it became a routine for them to go to the hospital each evening ... it was normal for them I guess, since I was their first baby.
Your little girl is going to be amazing, beautiful and strong. Her NICU stay will be a great start for her, and it will be a learning and growing experience for you too. You're going to be a great mom!!
A+S | Met 8/24/06 | Married 9/27/08
Started TTC 12/2008 | dx PCOS 5/2009
6 failed clomid/femara/TI cycles, 1 failed clomid/ovidrel/IUI cycle
Successful Cycle: 5/12/11 - 1000mg Metformin + 100mg Clomid(late response) + TI = BFP
2/13/12 - We proudly welcomed our daughter, Hadley Teresa!
Lots of Luck to all of 3T/IF
Thank you guys so much for your support! It feels really good to know I don't have to be 100% strong every day, I can have a bad day. I really really appreciate all of you so much.
((group hug))
I just want to echo the above posters. I have really been struck by what a positive attitude you have about the challenges ahead, although it is normal and okay for you to be overwhelmed and need support at times. You are totally strong enough for this.
It seems like your dad's experience is also weighing on you. Your experience 20 something years later is going to be very different then his, things have changed in how medicine is practiced, and your baby will most likely be there as a part of routine precaution, which will be a much different experience then being there due to a very early delivery. Just my two cents, but maybe it will help reframe things a bit.
((Hugs))
I'm sorry you're having a down day. It's totally understandable and normal. You're anticipating so many things, many of which have been unexpected. I know we aren't close IRL but from what I know of you based on your posts I will tell you YOU ARE STRONG ENOUGH.
My best friend (very frequently) reminds me: "I would be so much more worried about your ability to soar through this pregnancy and conquer parenthood if you didn't have bad days." Don't be so hard on yourself - you are already fantastic, inspiring, and stronger than any of us can imagine. God picked YOU to carry that amazing little gift, and there is a reason and purpose that she has been given such a wonderful mother.
I echo the wisdom and encouragement from the other bumpers! They all always put it so well, I on the otherhand, will try not to botch my message...
I'll add what I've come to believe is true throughout my life-- and now even more so learning about the other "friends" on our board. Even things that feel like they are over-the-top "why me" situations often have a reason for playing out that way. I'm definitely not trying to get spiritual about it, but most people (myself included) who I've talked too look back on the really tough times and in hindsight are able to see a reason for it ultimately playing out the way it did-- even though it wasn't always apparent at the beginning.
If your adorable little one spends time getting all strong and healthy in the NICU, you may end up meeting another mom with a baby going through something similar-- and she might really need that friendship/support. Or there may be a nurse there who is changed by your daughter somehow. Or you could end up spending time in the NICU with someone like HEmery [...pauses to say another prayer for Walker...] and your optimism and strength could be a source of support for each other.
You've clearly demonstrated virtual super-human strength and compassion throughout this process (and have been an amazing example for several of us on here), so while I'm not trying to take away your justifiable "why me," I'm just saying you never know why things happen the way they do. Being glass half full is the only way I can get through my days at times, so just thought I'd share what came into my mind when I first read your post...Sending smiles...
A/S: 9.26.11 - Team Pink
First Timer! BFP: 6/5/11 EDD: 2/12/12
February Prayer Group - LO's Verse: Psalm 139:13-18
Thank you so much. For all of that!
My nephew spent 3 weeks in NICU when he was 5 weeks old and diagnosed with Chronic Kidney disease. I have to be honest it was HARD on his parents, I agree with the PP that seeing all the babies in there is sad but the staff are AMAZING in the NICU where my nephew stayed and they went out of their way to comfort and help my sister, she had days where she couldnt stop crying to feed the baby and the nurse was right there to help her. BIL was a mess too! we stayed with them for a week to help keep their mind off of things and give them some time to take breaks.
My advice is this: you dont have to be strong 100% of the time, take time for you, (we had to force my sister to leave the hospital and go eat dinner with BIL) this helped them alot. Take advantage of the nurses while you have them, let them hold, feed, change LO if you are having an emotional moment.
remember that everyday will be a struggle and challenge, your LO is so blessed to have you as mommy and vise versa. God doesnt make mistakes.
DH became a double above knee amputee with traumatic brain injury (TBI) - July 2009
TTC - August 2009 DX: Severe MFI & TF due to TBI
DH SA 0 count, started clomid therapy - November 2010
DH SA 0 count, increased clomid dosage - January 2011
DH SA 75 million with 60% motility!! - May 2011
IVF with ICSI ONLY OPTION - May 2011
3dt of 2 Grade A 8&7 cell embryos May 19, 2011
+HPT May 30 2011 -- Memorial Day!
Beta #1 = 34 Beta #2 = 101.8 Beta #3 = 603!
Expecting beautiful Eden Grace February 7, 2012!
I don't believe that God ever tells us "no". he has three options. Yes, not right now, or I have something better in mind. We just have to wait & see.
You are absolutely strong enough for this! You may not feel like it now, and that's okay. Once that beautiful daughter of yours is born you're going to be pulled to wherever she is and when you feel like you're not strong enough to handle the situation, you're going to look at your baby girl and the love is going to wash over you and you'll feel renewed for a bit.
You've got this, mama and we're all so proud of you!
I've been praying for you.... And I TOTALLY understand what you are saying!! It's like getting a shot when you're little(well, absolutely Nothing like, but bear with me?). You KNOW it's going to hurt and you KNOW it's going to be hard and you think about it all the TIME and on the way there you can barely contain your fear and it sounds so awful, but you know it has to happen. And then you do it and it WAS no fun and it WAS way hard, but you did it. You can do it. You can. As I've said before, I HOPE that if I ever went thru similar, that I'd be like you. EVEN ON the doubt days!!! Wish I could for real hug you.... I hope it's so much less/easier than the fear you have of it right now is, I guess is what I'm trying to say.... I hope she's there for one day and they're like- Well, she can go home;0)
I'm sorry that you are feeling this way today. But, you have proven to us all that you are strong. It's okay to have a "why me" day, we all deserve them, some of us more than others!
Just remember that all those moms on that board also got to take their babies home. I know you will get through whatever is thrown at you!