Clicky Poll: Do you and DH agree?

SarahKate31 · October 2011

[poll]

Bonus: What's the number(s)?

kelleymark82606 · October 2011

I'm happy with what I have...he wants more. We'll see.

daisyterp · October 2011

I voted SS- DH always wanted at least 2. My ideal # was based on our situation/location. My NY # was 1. Now we are both 60-75% sure we want to have a 3rd.

nezwee · October 2011

Ah, the tides have turned. DH was all for having several kids (4), I wanted to see how one went first then go from there. Now, DH is insistent that we are one and done. Apparently, I'm not a nice person when I am pregnant or the weeks following birth.

Ideally, i'd like to have one more.

SarahKate31 · October 2011

LoveLossHopeRepeat:
It's when I start talking of the potential for a third that his eyes get really big and he starts to look scared.

A similar situation happened this morning, hence this post. DH was telling me how someone was asking him how many kids we were going to have and he was telling them "2 only, because we don't want to be outnumbered". And I had to say, um hon, I don't really agree with that! I want 3. I've always said 2, maybe 3, so after #2 I guess we'll see where we are and if DH is swayable.

ShandaB · October 2011

I would love 4 but DH only wants 3. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

ngentile · October 2011

This is such a hot-button issue for a few couples I am friends with - the wives want three kids, the husbands want two. I'm in a similar situation, I'd like to have three but DH wants to stop at two. I definitely see the advantages of just having two, especially when they are so close in age as ours. And with the late nights I've been having recently, I'm tempted to have this just be it. But at the same time, I don't want to regret NOT having tried for a third and feeling like I settled. I may just leave it up to fate to decide.

KathrynMD · October 2011

We discussed 2 a long time ago, then we decided we'd be realistic, have one and then decide. For awhile, we were sort of OK w/ just one, but now, I"m back on the 2 train. DH could be OK w/ one and done still. I'm OK w/ not having another one, but I'd really prefer to have a 2nd. The clock is also totally running out - so that's not helping.

madladybride · October 2011

Well, DH & I always wanted 1 and maybe 2. DH is Hell-to-the-no to 3. I'm not really a fan of 3. It seems like adding that 3rd child makes a huge difference in family dynamic.

Having gone through 2 mc's and a worrisome pregnancy, DH is not sure he wants 2. I'd like 2, but not sure how we will afford 2 in daycare. We'd probably have to switch to somewhere else. I kind of like having just 1, but I am not sure I feel our family is complete. The only way we will have 3 is if I get pregnant with twins.

Time is not on our side, so we need to make a decision and go for it within the next 2 years.

SarahKate31 · October 2011

LoveLossHopeRepeat:
SarahKate31:
LoveLossHopeRepeat:
It's when I start talking of the potential for a third that his eyes get really big and he starts to look scared.
A similar situation happened this morning, hence this post. DH was telling me how someone was asking him how many kids we were going to have and he was telling them "2 only, because we don't want to be outnumbered". And I had to say, um hon, I don't really agree with that! I want 3. I've always said 2, maybe 3, so after #2 I guess we'll see where we are and if DH is swayable.
How did he react when you told him that you want 3?
I'm not pushing for 3 yet because I'm not set it on it. We have no idea how long it'll take for #2 to happen, and unless I can have 2 & 3 close together and stay home with them, 3 isn't an option. I don't want a large age difference between 2 and 3, and we can't afford two under 2 in daycare, so there's a lot of factors that would go into me being on board with 3...
but I won't discount it, either. I kinda like the idea of 3. It feels like a big-ish family without being too big, and I've always been into big families. I'm one of 3 girls, but beyond that, I have tons of cousins that I always had a blast with.
Barring medical issues, we're *definitely* having 2, though, so I'll just settle with being happy with that for right now. We can battle about hypothetical #3 later

His eyes got pretty wide, lol. This shouldn't be a shock to him though, I've mentioned before that I might want 3, but he tends to forget things. He also said he didn't think we could afford 3 and while that may well be true, we won't know that until that time comes around. I'd just like to keep the door open for a third child at this point - I'm not set on it.

weezie825 · October 2011

We had this discussion several times before we were even married. Given some pre-exisiting healht issues for me I was advised that we should be done having kids by the time I was 35.

Given that situation DH and I pretty much knew we would like to try for 2, but it would really depend on how long it took us to get pregnant with #1. Thankfully, it happened quickly for us both times. We had set a time limit the second time around. If I wasn't pregnant by date certain, we were one and done. We were both okay with that.

If age and health issues hadn't been a factor we would have considered a third.

jcsntms06 · October 2011

I always wanted two and DH has always been on board. After after having DD we really thought we were one and done. But after meeting with different doctors and talking it through, we decided to go for #2. We are definitely done after this baby. We can't afford three children in daycare.

ThePastor'sWife · October 2011

DH has always said he wanted 3; I've always said 2. That said, now that I've got ~13 wks left in this pregnancy, I'm not sure I can totally see this being the last pregnancy/baby. We're planning to reevaluate sometime after LO #2 turns 1 and see where we're at.

mommytoj · October 2011

We both know we want #2. Beyond that, I think we'll have to see where life takes us. When we got married we talked about 3-4 max, but at least 2. At the moment I'm very content with 1, but I don't want too big of an age gap so I'm hoping to try for #2 when she turns 2, for a 3 year gap. THen we'll see...

moonfaerie · October 2011

I voted SS. We took turns wanting a third, then not wanting a third, and not benig on the same page at the same time. In an ideal world, I'd love for my kids to have several siblings, to have at least 4 kids. But, in the real world, kids are expensive and I am not a happy shiny pregnant person at all. With how miserable I am already, I can't see going through this again. DH is totally on board with stopping after this one.

He wanted to stop after two, or at least wait several years before having a third, but now that Chloe is older and the girls can play together, watching them interact melted his heart and made him more sure about having a third. He ended up being more sure than I was when I got pg this time around, and for a long time he did not want a third ~ so ladies who want more kids than your H, don't lose hope!

lauranne · October 2011

We are both happy with 2, but I would LOVE to have more kids if money and lack of sleep weren't factors. He's the voice of reason.

Megcheer2 · October 2011

If DH had his way, we would have 6 kids - no joke. But, given the fact that its my body and we didn't start until we were both in our 30s, it will most likely be 2 kids and that's it. I won't close the door completely on a 3rd kid, but it's 95% closed because they are expensive!

I did not have a super pregnancy my first time around, but I learned a few lessons and hopefully when (God willing) the second time around happens, it will be a smoother process.

DH just doesn't think about how much things cost. I am the one who handles all of our bills and so he seems to think we'll just figure it out if we have more and more kids. Well....no. I am the voice of reason.

Also, I always said we would have one kid and see how that goes before we decide on having two. We have had a super easy first child, so we will definitely try for #2. Then we can see how that goes before totally deciding on #3.

holly321 · October 2011

I ss, but I guess we generally agree. We def. both want 2. We think we want three. We know we have to move if we have 3 though, so that is the issue. I would probably go 4 if we have more money when the time comes, which may be a possibility, but we shall see.

AKBrideinMD · October 2011

We agree that we at least want 2, and after that see where life takes us. We also agree that we don't want anymore than 4, but we probably won't decide if we want 3 or 4 until we see how things go with 2. We both come from "big" families (I am one of four and he is one of five) and enjoyed that growing up, so 3 is very likely barring any real issues (health, finances, etc.)

Mella&T · October 2011

We both definitely want at least two. I was an only child and HATED it. I do not want that for DD at all. I have always wanted three but have kind of succumbed to the idea of two after being with DH for so long. This is totally out of left field, but I have started watching Parenthood and I love the dynamic of the four kids. In a perfect world, we'd be able to afford and handle four kids and have big family dinners all the time. That being said, if we have another girl, we're definitely done (DH would be too scared to go for a third and have it be another girl) but if we have a boy the second time around, I think we could possibly be on board with trying for a third. We'll see where life takes us...

Ragdolls · October 2011

SS. DH was always gung ho about having at least 2 while I was fine with the idea of 1 since I was a perfectly happy only child myself. After seeing what #1 put me through and how much love and energy he wants to give him, he would be perfectly happy to stop now. I, on the other hand, suddenly want a brood - some days. Other days I want to let my universe revolve around only him forever.

lenebene · October 2011

Yes, we were always on the same page until we found out that I couldn't have kids naturally, now we are going to wait and see how we feel and to see if nature helps us out with #2. We may be one and done, since #1 cost us a college tuition to have.

tmm140 · October 2011

We do not agree--he is sometimes little to no help, so he only wants 1--I really want DS to have a sibling, in an ideal world I would want 3. But in the end I would be very happy with 2. Our house is also kind of small (2bedroom) so that also kind of plays into it as well.

scooterq · October 2011

We agree right now that we want 2 eventually. Of course at this point I just want to get this one here safe and sound!

Cooper81 · October 2011

We both know we definately want 2 (we were just talking about the timing of TTC #2, hopefully soon) and DH is one of 3 so the idea isn't foreign to him. Unfortunately money comes into play in most of our discussions about having a third or not. With DH's projections, we will be almost debt free in 3 to 4 years (only mortgage left) and depending on where we are with our TH, if we've been able to move or not, we might be ok to have #3.

mrs. remy · November 2011

DH used to say he wanted a big family (he comes from a family of 5 siblings, I am an only child). I have always wanted two. Now that he sees the day-to-day operations of having two kids, I think we are in agreement. I am starting to like the idea of permanent birth control right now. I could always change my mind and we could go for a third, but it wouldnt be for a few years and I'm feeling kind of done with childbearing right now, especially with my scare at the end of this pregnancy.

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