Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: FFFC
Thanks for the laugh on a day I needed one badly
LOL. So true.
m/c 1/2/08 and 3/12/08
Eve Amelia- Born 2/24/09. 6lb 9.9oz
Natalie Ruth - Born 6/13/11 7lb 6.6oz
I totally agree!
You know what? I wouldn't bother to worry much about how presentable your house and kids are for therapists. I am sure that your house is 10times cleaner on its worst day than a lot of the homes they visit on their best day. I used to just be sure the kids were wearing shirts and underwear/diapers and that there were no clothes, blankets or pillows on the floor. My house is usually pretty cluttered and I would sometimes appologise, they would often tell me not to worry about it because, they just appreciate being able to sit on a floor that is clean, a lot of there visits, this isn't the case.
I think I love you.
And
MrsW, I think that's totally valid. I guess my FFFC is that I'm partially ready to go back to work. The stressful days of taking care of a screaming baby and active toddler are wearing on me. But of course the last 2 days have been better and I feel guilty for even thinking it.
My pt told me he used to have a client who kept things in black garbage bags and literally just had a path through the living room for people to walk through!
It's the bathing. Really. You should do that more often! (I kid, I kid).. that would annoy me, too. I don't blame you, nor do I think it's you being evil. Just a normal mama frustrated with lack of common sense from others.. right?
FTR, I hope he does sleep through the night very, very soon :::hugs::::
MY FFFC (which, btw, I have to admit I needed to google.. being a newbie here, I had no idea what that stood for).. is needy friends. I have a friend I text often, because I enjoy doing so. We met on a board many moons ago, have never met IRL. But.. if I go more than 1 hour without texting her, I get a "freak outttttttt" text from her saying "did I do something wrong? Are you mad at me? Can we talk? What'd I do??" ::blink:: I write back.. "actually, I was just cleaning the bathroom..." I seriously just don't like NEEDING to text someone so often. I should want to? I do have a life. Sometimes. It's annoying to me that she often thinks I'm mad at her, just because I haven't sent a text in a bit. I'm just... living my life. Meh.
I'm annoyed with people who just don't "get it" when it comes to kids. Many of our single friends don't understand why we decline the middle of the week invitations to happy hour and the dinner invites with 30 minutes notice. To them I want to say "Just wait til you have a child, your life will surely change" and the FFC, I also want to say FU when they give me grief about it!!! haha!
The real FFFC....I wish everyone would just give out allergy friendly stuff this Halloween! (Completely irrational and unfair thought, I know!) The thought of Halloween treats and Halloween parties scares the crap out of me due to DS's food allergies. We had a really bad reaction this week and I just want to put him in a bubble.
love it!!!
m/c 1/2/08 and 3/12/08
Eve Amelia- Born 2/24/09. 6lb 9.9oz
Natalie Ruth - Born 6/13/11 7lb 6.6oz
I have one..
I really just lost it on Eve.. And I'm feeling really guilty about it.. I yelled at her... bad.. She just won't listen though. She just completely ignores EVERYTHING i say.. And I know the yelling won't help.. but I really get so ANGRY. I don't want to be so angry at my kid.. but I am. She made an enormous mess with her lunch today.. and doesn't seem to care that shes being terrible. I swear she used to be a good kid.. She used to be sweet and nice and caring.. and now she's just plain BAD.. I really am afraid I'm raising a really bad kid. the kind of kid that all the other parents hate.
m/c 1/2/08 and 3/12/08
Eve Amelia- Born 2/24/09. 6lb 9.9oz
Natalie Ruth - Born 6/13/11 7lb 6.6oz
I decided too late to do an event with R for Halloween....so I am calling and searching for something to take him too. The Y is $30 for non members....and it is just R and I. That is too much. I called our Wegmans and she told me they already had theirs on Wednesday.....
so here I sit eating candy and in tears because I didn't plan ahead. We did ZooBoo last weekend, but he loved it so much I wanted to do another thing before we TOT Monday.
m/c 1/2/08 and 3/12/08
Eve Amelia- Born 2/24/09. 6lb 9.9oz
Natalie Ruth - Born 6/13/11 7lb 6.6oz
You don't suck at this mom thing. Huge ((HUGS)) to you right now. Some days, some weeks, some months are just harder than others. Two and three are ROUGH ages! Hang in there...
Melissa- you don't suck. You're doing your best. I swear it's impossible to be a perfect mom when you have more than 1 kid- you're pulled in a million directions 24/7. In my house it feels like someone is always crying, hurt, whining or being ignored
Today was one of those days when I wish I was still single. Not married without kid. Single. I set my own schedule. I do not have to be responsible for anyone or anything. And I definitely wouldn't have to deal with a three year old screaming at the top of his lungs and openly defying me at every turn.
Yeah, it's been a craptastic evening.
@Melissa - right there with you. You're an awesome mommy. Some days just suck. Hang in there.
I am loving being back to work, so I totally hear you MrsW.
I feel a bit guilty, but it's so nice to get dressed and go to work, have adult conversations and even enjoy what I'm doing. Things are a bit more hectic in our lives, but overall I'm much happier. I loved being a SAHM, and am grateful for the 2.5 years I got to stay home with Evan... but I totally now see that being a working mom is more "me". Plus the paycheck makes it all the more worth it! (although the daycare bill does not!)