Casually mentioned my son today

pandabearlover · October 2011

There is a lady at my daughter's swim class who is very pregnant. I thought it was her third baby and I thought she had two daughters so I asked her if she knew what she was having. She said she didn't know, but that all her pregnancies were different.

And I said, I thought DD2 was a boy because her pg was very different from DD1. Then I said, I was pg 3 times, but our son was stillborn and his pg was very different too. I talked about how I was sure he was a girl and I was shocked at the ultrasound and how I couldn't imagine life with a boy. And I ended with, maybe that is because we weren't going to keep him. She just listened and then didn't say anything-which is way better than the other swim mom. She pummeled me with questions about what happened and I wanted to cry.

It felt good to be able to mention him in conversation without getting emotional or crying. I am working on being able to do this in the future.

magdalina.h · October 2011

That's an amazing step. I was talking about Aidan today to a new person and he was like I haven't told many people, but we've had two miscarriages and while it's different, I now have someone to talk to.

lovemymaddy · October 2011

((hugs)) I'm proud of you! Hope to be there someday where I can talk about him without crying.

johnnys june · October 2011

As heartbreaking as it is to tell them what the outcome was of that pregnancy, I find that it makes me happy to just mention it. It makes me feel (or maybe remember) that my pregnancy and Logan did exist and did matter. KWIM?

*hugs* I'm glad you were able to talk about this in normal conversation. It's a huge step!!