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C-sections
Christine&Mario
member
Potentially stupid questions
Christine&Mario
member
in C-sections
Hi all,
Just as a brief intro, it looks like I'm going to be having a planned c-section in 2 weeks or so. I'm pretty scared - this is not how I pictured things going, but here I am, so here are my questions. TIA for any advice or thoughts on any or all of these!!
- Two ladies who work with DH told him that I won't be allowed to get pregnant again for approximately 2-3 years after a c-section. True or false? Was hoping to get pregnant again soon for a variety of reasons.
- Did you feel like you let DH down re: the "experience"? I'm not so hung up on it for myself; I just feel like I'm failing DH in some way because he won't get to participate in the way that he would in a labor and vaginal birth - like this might somehow be less meaningful. This is especially because he has a daughter from a previous marriage who was a c-section baby, so there aren't many "firsts" for him like there are for me. Perhaps this is totally irrational, but I'm wondering if anyone else has struggled with similar emotions?
- How long will I need round-the-clock help? In other words, about how long until I can lift my baby out of her crib and do other necessary tasks? (I'm not talking about laundry and housecleaning - just the things that will need to be done urgently).
- Are there any specific questions I should be asking my doctor?
Many thanks!
Mom to E, 11/2011 - Severe egg & dairy allergies, soy intolerance *** Stepmom to G, 2001
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Potentially stupid questions
Sorry your birth plan has changed courses. I think that's how it happened for most of the women here, including myself. I was planning a natural water birth in a birth center lol.
Don't take medical advice from anyone but your doctor. Those women are wrong. My doctor told me the earliest I could get pregnant was 1 yr PP.
You're not failing anyone. My husband saw my daughter before I did, so if anything this worked out better for him. I know I struggled for months after my daughter was born to come to terms with her birth experience. All that mattered in the end was that she was healthy and SAFE!
My dr. told me to wait a year to get pregnant again but if it happened before then it wasn't a big deal. Your chances of VBACing (if that's what you want) are better if you wait a little longer.
The c/s was a letdown for me, but it was an unscheduled one at 34w1d, so I had a lot of emotions. I have to say, though, that I never once thought about whether DH would feel let down. I know that he was only concerned about me. I had HELLP, so it was potentially life threatening for both me and LO. He just wanted us safe.
I was in the hospital for 5 days, but LO was in the NICU for 16, so at first when I was home she wasn't there. By the time I was released, though, I was picking her up out of her bed by myself when I came to visit (the first couple of days I would carefully sit in the recliner and the nurses would bring her to me and take her back). I don't know how it would have gone if I had had to do it all day long, though. By the time she came home, so 16 days after the c/s, I was fine to carry her around all day long. I'm sure I would have been fine a few days before that, too.
BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence
my DH has expressed that this experience of a c/s was better than he could imagine me laboring...as he really got to be involved in the process (he helped dry/stimulate baby), put first diaper on, etc)..so he doesnt feel like he missed out on anything
i was taking care of my baby and myself within 8 hours of my surgery
no rules on getting pregnant, usually they want yoiu to wait a year if you can
Mama Jan's Kitchen... a food blog
My OB recommends waiting a year to start trying for baby #2 to allow your body a chance to heal completely and reduce the risk of strain on your body with baby #2. She did say that many women have uncomplicated pregnancies if they do get pregnant before then but it is not something she advises but if it happens they treat it as a high risk pregnancy and VBAC is not advised.
I felt it was a "let down" but I think that was because I went into the hospital to be induced with high hopes of a vaginal birth. It became an emergency c-section and I know it was the best (and only option) to ensure baby & I were safe.
I needed help at the hospital and for a few days after we were home. DH went back to work 1/2 days when LO was 5 days old. I felt comfortable caring for her at this time but I didn't do any household jobs (cleaning, laundry, making the bed) until closer to 2 weeks.
1. It is actually recommended that any woman who has had a baby, vaginally or via c-section wait at least a year to get pregnant again. This is so that your body has time to build up the nutrients lost to your baby during pregnancy and to give your body time to heal. I talked to my OB about getting pregnant before that and she said technically your incision is healed very well after 6 weeks postpartum, but obviously they would not recommended trying to get pregnant that soon. Like PP said if you are hoping to try for a VBAC in the future then you should wait until there is 18 months between this LO and the birth of your next LO.
2. This is my DH personally but I think he was relieved with me having a c-section, it took a lot of stress off him not seeing me in pain. Plus he felt that however the baby came out, as long as he was healthy then he was happy as could be. (and on a complete side note, I think he was worried about my vagina after giving birth...not that he would ever say that.) I guess since your DH has already been through, what I assume was a vaginal birth then he really shouldn't feel robbed because he will get to experience a baby coming into this world both ways, and both ways are wonderful because they bring a baby into your life!
3. I had to be hooked up for 24 hours after surgery but was allowed out of bed after that. You will be able to take care of your baby all by yourself after that, not that you will want to if you have the help available! You are not allowed to lift anything heavier than your baby for (I think) 6 weeks, but as long as you have a decent recovery you should be feeling much better after 2 weeks! Still sore of course but it's amazing how fast you body will heal! Good luck with your c-section and I wish you the best recovery possible! Enjoy your new little one and come back with questions and answers anytime!
Many thanks to all of you ladies - I just came back here to read replies and could not believe there were so many! You have put my mind a LOT more at ease. I still can't help wishing it could go another way but I am very, very happy that I have this option to get LO into the world safely.
BFP 12/19/08- DS born 8/25/09 9lbs2oz via Zavanelli Maneuver
BFP 8/26/11- Missed miscarriage discovered 10/19/11 at 11w2d, measured at 9 weeks gestation w/ no HB. D&C 10/21/11
BFP 3/17/12 at 12dpo CP 3/21/12
BFP 4/23/12 at 10dpo Stick my little one! Beta #1: 83.3 @ 13dpo Beta #2: 197.7 @ 15dpo
Our little man is getting bigger every day!
My BFP Chart
- Did you feel like you let DH down re: the "experience"? I'm not so hung up on it for myself; I just feel like I'm failing DH in some way because he won't get to participate in the way that he would in a labor and vaginal birth - like this might somehow be less meaningful. This is especially because he has a daughter from a previous marriage who was a c-section baby, so there aren't many "firsts" for him like there are for me. Perhaps this is totally irrational, but I'm wondering if anyone else has struggled with similar emotions? No
- How long will I need round-the-clock help? In other words, about how long until I can lift my baby out of her crib and do other necessary tasks? (I'm not talking about laundry and housecleaning - just the things that will need to be done urgently). I took care of my baby right away, his weight was my weight restriction limit. My mom stayed with us for a few days, but I did everything but changing the diapers.
- Are there any specific questions I should be asking my doctor?
As to how long until your next pregnancy - talk to your doctor. My OB said never get pregnant within 6 months, best to wait a year.
I think c/s do a wonderful job of including the husband in the process. Honestly, he was the one who got to spend the frist hour of her life with DD, and that is priceless. I got to carry her, she was the one to welcome her into the world.
I would not have needed help with the basics of taking care of baby at any point.
A friend of mine was pregnant 3 months after her C-section and everything went fine, but I would listen to what the dr. has to say.
GL!!
SA - Normal CD3 Bloodwork - Normal HSG- All clear!
July 2012 50mg Clomid CD3-7 Trigger+TI = BFN
August 2012 50mg Clomid CD3-7 Trigger+IUI = BFN
September 2012 50mg Clomid CD3-7 Trigger+IUI = BFN
October 4th LAP - Mild Endo - All Removed
Treatment Break 3 cycles = BFN
1st Treatment Cycle Post Lap --
February 2013 50mg Clomid CD3-7 Trigger+IUI = BFN
March 2013 50mg Clomid CD3-7 Trigger+IUI = BFN
April 2013 Break Cycle ~~~ May 2013 Meet with RE discuss next steps
July 2013 IVF ~ Stims start 6/28
ER 7/10 20R/14M/14F
Day 3 - 10 Embryos
ET 7/15 Transferred 1 Blast on day 5 - Froze 6
7/24 Beta 1 150 7/26 Beta 2 313 7/30 Beta 3 1,084 Beta 4 3,000 Beta 5 8,120 1st U/S 8/8
I was told to wait 18 months between deliveries if I wanted to VBAC.
I feel badly that DH wasn't at the birth because it was an emergency, but I don't feel like I let him down because I had a c/s. Even though he came to 8 weeks of natural birthing classes with me!
You should be able to pick up your baby and care for her and take basic care of yourself within a day of surgery. BUT it's way nicer to have more help for longer.
bfp#4 3/19/2014 edd 12/1/2014 please let this be the one!
beta @ 5w0d = 12,026! u/s 4/22/14 @ 8w1d it's twins!
- My OB & midwife said to wait about 2 years. But, honestly, I don't think it is the end of the world. You will likely not be able to have a VBAC for #2 if you don't wait about 2 years though. But, even with that, each doc is different.
- No, I don't think DH cared how DS arrived, just that he arrived. Not to be crass....but I am sure your husband wasn't dying to see your squeeze a baby out of your vag anyway. So, don't worry!
- I had DH in the hospital with me the entire time and at home 1 week after. That was fantastic. I think I still did laundry and some minimal housekeeping after I got home though. I remember I couldn't vacuum & I tried to minimize trips upstairs for the first few days home. You can lift the baby right away. Any other children you have - might be a few weeks until you can lift them into their highchairs or cribs.
- Ask your doc about recovery time, meds, what to expect in the hospital & when you get home. Ask your doc about family planning/spacing and their take on the issue.
Good luck!
1. My OB gave me the green light to conceive at my 6 week checkup and would even let me VBAC. I heard someone mention it's a "high risk" pregnancy if you get pregnant before the 12 month mark and that is completely inaccurate. Your uterus completely heals within a few months time barring any complication during your delivery/recovery. While many doctors will not let you VBAC if there's less than 18 months between your deliveries, others will. If both a VBAC and kids close in age is important to you, you can likely find a doctor who will support both assuming your delivery/recovery went perfectly.
2. "The experience" I think is a lot less important to DH than we think. My DH was kind of dreading active labor to be honest. I don't think he felt let down.
3. You will be able to do all necessary tasks like changing diapers/lifting baby as soon as you get home. Certain chores like vaccuming and such you'll have to wait on, but light housework/baby care will be possible pretty much immediately. You may want to get a bassinet for next to your bed as it will make life easier.
4. Ask your doctor how they close the incision. If dermabond is an option, that stuff is great. My incision healed so well (lower risk of infection) and is so small you can barely see it.