3rd Trimester

Does IL drama cease after LO is here?

As I lurk on other boards it seems that most people start having IL issues at the end of the 2nd tri and beginning of the 3rd. As I lurk on the 0-3mo board, and the BMBs, there seem to be fewer vents about ILs. Is it wishful thinking to think that ILs begin to get a clue after LO is here? And that we are less hormonal so things to bother us as much? Or do the people who had issues with ILs stop posting about it?

Re: Does IL drama cease after LO is here?

  • It depends...

    My MIL was a little nutty but after my daughter was born she got worse.  It's all about how you learn to deal with it.

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  • It didn't really change after for me.  We still have lots of issues with my MIL (FIL too, but he's not quite so bad).
  • If there was drama before, there will be more drama after.  It never gets better, it only gets worse!
  • imagetinydancingqueen:
    If there was drama before, there will be more drama after.  It never gets better, it only gets worse!

    As much as I love my ILs, it only gets worse. It is tough to juggle two families that love and want to be included on everything with your child. But, hey, there are worse things to complain about in life. :) 

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  • Yeah mine has only gotten worse and worse.  My MIL ripped lo out of my arms minutes after she was born-maybe not literally.  But even look at back at pictures with MIL in them, she is always holding the baby.  And now my DD has her wrapped around her finger, is spoiled by them and DD thinks we should give in to tantrums because nana does.
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  • It depends on how people handle it now. If you have IL drama it will always exist to some degree. It just depends on what limits you set early. I think people on the 0-3 board probably have bigger concerns than their ILs. While Pregnant with your first or for some more, the drama seems to be high and pregnancy hormones combined with other things make it worse., With a newborn as far as I remember the only thing I had to think about was LO, healing up, trying not to have my boobs leak everywhere, and prepping for going back to work.
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  • I think it probably stays the same, but there aren't as many hormones running around and as such there's less venting/complaining.

    Personally, IL drama got worse for me after G was born.

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  • It got worse. I think the mom's in 0-3 just don't have time to complain about it as much though. They have too much to think about with their LO's.
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  • Really depends on family dynamics and maturity IMO. 

    My inlaws are constant drama to the point where we limit the amount of time they spend with LO because each time it's the same negative interaction. 

    My parents are amazing. Zero drama.

    I don't bother posting about it anymore although it was at it's peak the first six months's of LO's life.  


  • Depending on if it is first grandson/grandaughter/baby really and the IL themself, some of them can't help but keep shoving advice and their opinions into how you raise their grandchild!! When my darling son was born, my MIL was constantly there and telling how she did things(i already had a 2 1/2 year old) and when my son was only a few months old he was having tummy trouble and ended up a little backed up...She insisted that i try rubbing a bar of soap on his little bum hole to make the constipation go away!!!!!!! She then proceeded to do it when my husband went over one evening to show my husband how to do it:(  UGH  sometimes they are well meaning but way overstep boundries(Parents that are not in laws can do it too and too you SO as well)  Just be prepared to be strong and not let them get overly involved from the beginning so you don't have those problems:)  Sorry so long just trying to be helpful

     

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