I feel so alone in this

binkydusty2 · October 2011

DH works two jobs, he leaves home at 10am and comes home at 2am. He is away for 14 hours and NEVER has a day off. (restaurant jobs) He will have a morning off or a night off here and there but he NEVER takes a full day off. I think he is addicted to working.

I'm here at home with DD all day taking care of her, and by the time DH gets home, I'm worn out. But DH is even more exhausted than me from his demanding jobs. I feel bad asking him to help me with the nighttime feedings/diaper changes because I at least get to nap during the day with DD.

It's sad having him be away for so long. I miss him and I feel like he's missing out on raising our daughter together. She's growing right before his eyes and he isn't even realizing it.

DD doesn't even recognize her dad, but she smiles at me every time I talk to her.

Before DD was born he told me he would work less hours, come home before 10pm, and have days off.

But none of that has changed.

I feel so alone...

EVA116 · October 2011

I am so sorry you feel this way. This happened to us right after DD was born. I told DH he had to slow down and if that meant us cutting back then we would. I told him that all his hard work for this family doesn't matter if his family wasn't happy. He slowed down and works less at second job. Now DD loves when daddy comes home and I don't feel so alone. You have to talk to DH. Is there anyway you guys can cut back so he doesn't have to work so much?

JamieJeanS · October 2011

just reading the title to your thread made me think, "AH! that could be my post!"

I know what you mean...my DH, who recently has been telling me that things are busy but just fine/good, has always seemed to find ways of not being around from the time my DD was in the NICU. He's never been great with time management but it's way worse, I see him maybe 1-2 hours at most if I am lucky on his work days, maybe 3 on his days off, so I know what you mean in feeling alone and seeing how DD is just growing and developing without him to really be there. He does try to spend a little time with her, but he's also very quick to pass her to me if I am around so that he can do whatever things he feels he needs to do.

I could go on and on about this...but basically I guess I just wanted to say you really aren't alone. I am right there with you!

chloe071603 · October 2011

I too feel your pain. My DH is an attorney, and typically works 12-14 hour days, and sometimes has paperwork to do on the weekends. I'm home alone with our DD (now 11 weeks). It sucks to feel like a single parent when you know you're not. I admit with the PPD, I've had fleeting thoughts like "Well if we never see him, why are we even together? It's just more work for me to have to cook for & clean up after another person". But I know that's just crazy hormones talking and not what I really want to happen. Have you talked to him about how you're feeling? I admit I didn't for a long time - also felt that he worked long hours & didnt need to be bothered by my "stupid emotions". But I broke down this week, saw my OB, and got my PPD diagnosis. I told him I need more help. And now he just called to say his boss said he can leave early today & tomorrow. Just know that you're not alone, there are a lot of other women going thru the same thing.

SilentSymphony · October 2011

OMG i feel the same way. the same thing is happening to me... its making me feel terrible and my DH feels terrible too cuz he thinks our DD hates him...

email me sometime if u wanna talk....

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