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April 2012 Moms
DD1- 12/26/05 DD2- 4/12/12
I wish my mom would quit calling me fat.
She normally means well(ish) but I am getting so aggravated with my mother. She hasn't outright called me fat but her comments might as well. When we announced our pregnancy (we told family at 4 1/2 weeks right after we found out) she says "Oh I thought you might be... you've been looking pudgy." Gee thanks mom. I've technically only been pregnant for 2 weeks, but I'm glad you think I'm huge already.
Then she will make comments about my belly and I countered with the fact that at that point I hadn't gained any weight (now I'm up 2 or 3 pounds) and she goes "oh it will all catch up with you later." Ughhh... I don't really even know if she realizes she keeps doing this, but I feel like she calls me fat or tells me how fat I am going to be at least once a week.
This time, she found a girl getting rid of some maternity clothes and we're going to look at them this morning (which is awesome). Well.. she's got Medium, Large and X-Large. I told my mom I wasn't really interested in the extra larges because I'm a size medium. I will buy some larges because I remember having practically nothing for my last 2 months of pregnancy because my belly was just a bit bigger than most of my clothes. She tells me basically I'm going to get so huge I will need some extra larges. Sigh. I need to find a nice way to tell her to shut up before I just scream "STOP CALLING ME FAT!!!!!! I AM FVCKING PREGNANT AND I AM SUPPOSED TO HAVE A BELLY, SO LEAVE ME ALONE!"
DD1- 12/26/05 DD2- 4/12/12
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Re: I wish my mom would quit calling me fat.
LOL!
I try to, I really do. I almost don't even want to talk pregnancy with her because of it though, but even that doesn't stop her. I wore a sweater to my work orientation the other day and when I got to her house to pick up my daughter she said something about how much that stomach makes my stomach poke out. Grrrr.
But the rest of my family is no better. My daughter was in a parade back in sept and since she's in kindergarten I had to walk with her and I had a coat on because it was chilly and one of my cousins (who has already declared she can grab my belly whenever she pleases... I guess she likes the idea of losing fingers) makes some smart remark about why was I hiding. Uhhh I'm not "hiding" I just happen to not want to be sick, thank you very much.
DD1- 12/26/05 DD2- 4/12/12
I really don't know why people think it's ok to make these kinds of comments to pregnant women. Don't they realize that it is a very hard body image time for us? I'm sorry family is doing this to you. You do have all of us ladies who are going through body changes too. We understand. We should be encouraged to gain a healthy amount of weight be the people in our lives who care about the health of our babies.
Was she like this last time?
Did you gain a lot last time that may lead her to think that you'll also gain a lot this time?
I mean if you got very big (pregnancy wise, not fat wise) last time, she could be going from there. Also if you did gain a lot of weight last time maybe she's comparing? I mean, it WILL probably catch up with you. The baby will be as big as the baby is and eventually you'll look like you're smuggling watermelons. But that isn't FAT.
Do you think she's making comments like "big" and meaning baby, but sounding like she's talking about fat? I mean, the pudgy comment in the beginning seems rude, but maybe she meant you seemed bloated (which I still don't think is appropriate to tell someone, but at least that indicates that she doesn't mean you're fat)
I just think some of the comments seem like it may be part in the way you're hearing them more in the way she means to say them.
Thanks... And I agree. I would never dream of looking at a pregnant woman and uttering the word "huge" or commenting on their size at all (even if they gain too much weight, like one of my cousins gained 100 lbs during her 1st pregnancy).
Thanks ladies! I appreciate you letting me vent because I really am frustrated and I'm trying not be 12 and post a passive aggressive FB status about people thinking before they speak and realizing how inappropriate it is to constantly criticize the waistline of a pregnant woman.
DD1- 12/26/05 DD2- 4/12/12
Nope. I gained just under 25 with my daughter. I did gain mostly in my belly, so I did have a belly at the end, but I don't remember being larger than average.
I don't think she's talking about the baby when she's specifically talking about my stomach and how "big" it is. I am a second time mom, so my bump shows faster than first time moms. I do believe she is referring to my size and not my child. My daughter was 7 pounds when she was born, which she knows so I don't know why she would be assuming that I'm carrying a 15 pounder this time or anything that would make the commentary appropriate.
Regardless of what she's referring to, she really does need to stop making the constant references about my weight and waistline because I'm sure she wouldn't be a fan of me critiquing her shape or weight either. If I do get "big" it's certainly not her right to call me out for it as I have a highly paid medical professional who I trust to monitor my weight and my waistline.
DD1- 12/26/05 DD2- 4/12/12
My mom is either really mean/obnoxious or really supportive.
When I first found out I was preggo, all she did was taunt me. When she realized how sick I was and that I hadn't eaten in a week, she finally became more sensitive and supportive.
She tells me how wide my hips look, how I "lost" my butt, how puffy my face has gotten, that I should lay off any type of food she sees me eating. That's just how she is, she makes fun. I don't think she realizes how hurtful she is being at times, it doesn't even cross her mind, which is frustrating but....at least it isn't her main motivation.
She is also jealous, she doesn't want to be a grandmother yet. She had me very young, so I'm 22 and my kid brother just turned 6. She wanted to have more kids, and she says she can't now because she is going to be a Gma. Oh WELL.
I know I look great, I know I'm going to be a good mom, we are all going to get big, we are preggo, doesn't bother me what anyone says.
Ugh that stinks. My mom is kind of similar - she has body image issues, and we have similar body types, so she likes to say things like "wow, your hips are as big as mine are", and "don't you wish we were skinny like your sister"? She's constantly trying to get me to try some diet fad with her, even though I'm ~ size 8. And almost every conversation she has with me, she mentions her body or weight, so I know its just issues with herself.
I usually tell her, "just b/c you dont like your body doesnt mean I don't like mine", or that if she doesnt have anything nice to say, this conversation is done . I'm pretty straightforward with my mom.
She did already tell me to watch out, b/c I was going to blow up like a whale when PG. I told her thanks for the advice, but we'll see what happens.