Share your "good" PG announcement stories. — The Bump
Childless not by choice

Share your "good" PG announcement stories.

I'm making this post because a few weeks ago I experienced the best PG announcement of my life and I'm still in awe over it... I have a friend who knows all about our IF and I tell her a lot about the emotional aspects.  Now that we're probably going to be child free forever, I've been telling her how that feels.  Now, I've told other people this stuff before but I've never had someone do this...

She and her DH were planning to ttc and she told me to give me fair warning.  Of course I figured they would get pg the first month (and they did) so one night before they tried we were discussing this and she said she didn't know how she was going to tell me when the time came.  We decided that she should tell me though some stupid code... so we came up with "there are clowns in my car"  (We were drunk.) 

So, a few weeks ago she had a mutual friend ask me to hang out on a week night.  I thought it was weird, but said Ok.  When I got to her house our friend (the pg one) showed up with a bottle of Relax wine.  We talked for a while as I wondered if she was ever going to drink the wine, but in my heart I knew what was coming.  Finally she looks at me and says "I have a clown in my car, I brought you a bottle of wine" and I took the wine and joked "Are you telling me to relax?!" (she knows not to say that) and then I yelled at her.  Seriously.  I said "It took one month?! How the f**k did you do that?"   She could tell I was joking but was upset deep down so she said I could cry if I had to so I did for a little bit but then said I felt like a jerk.  She said I wasn't a jerk and then I cried for the rest of the night!

That was the strangest thing ever.  In this moment that was *supposed* to be all about her I didn't have to congratulate her.  I didn't have to pretend to be excited.  I didn't have to ask stupid questions about when her due date is (though eventually I did) and I didn't have to wait until I got to the car to bawl.

The next day she called to see how I was doing.

I've never felt so cared for in my entire life.

Anyway, I know that sometimes people lurk for info on how to approach people.  I thought I would put this experience out there as an example.  If you have had a nice experience maybe we could share them so other people can understand... or just to have a few posts on this board!  Stick out tongue


Re: Share your "good" PG announcement stories.

  • It sounds like you have a really great and understanding friend. It sure does help when people "get it" and you can be yourself.

    On my part, I usually have a hard time with the initial announcement and for about a week or so. Then, I come around and am happy and excited for them. I do prefer to hear the news in an email first.

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  • One of my college roommates (who lives in Turkey so the likelihood of me running into to her are nil so the fact that she even thought about how to tell me was pretty impressive) fb messaged me before she even told her family because she didn't want me to find out on facebook comments and things like that.

    She was very kind and gentle which is always appreciated.

    And there wasn't one trite "I know your turn is coming soon!!!11!!! squee!!" in the whole thing. 

    Fuuck TTC - I'm moving on.
    "It's a child, not a cheeto" Thanks mmariluh!
    "Ew. I've read all of two posts from you, and you stink like rotting garbage."
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  • I've actually felt as if the majority of the people who have announced their pregnancy to me have all been in on some cruel sick joke.

    A few days following our D&C DH's friends girlfriend (who knew of our loss) told me that she was now expecting and was 4 weeks along. She added in a "you should try and get pregnant again so we can do it together." Ehhh. That was before we had found out the news of my crap eggs. She is due in less than 3 weeks and I skipped out on her baby shower, never ask about baby, and would prefer to keep it that way.

    About 4 months after the MC and 2 months after finding out I am a genetic failure, my very good friend for many years told me that the guy she was casually seeing had indeed gotten her pregnant. She was scared but excited about the baby. Now I have to hear all about it and all I can think is "why you?". She is due January 2nd, I also skipped out on her shower. Very minimal questions about baby.

    The only person I truly am happy/rooting for is my cousin. She has had 3 losses. She and her DH have been trying so hard for a sticky baby. They are currently as pregnant as they have ever been at 17wks with a little boy.  For me, it feels as if we have both won some kind of prize. I ask about the baby and I am actually happy for them.

  • I just lurk on here and I am blessed to have my son. However, it took two years of trying and some IF treatment before I got preg. During this time one of my BF got preg without trying or even wanting a baby. She told a mutal friend of ours(who i'm MUCH closer to) first and that friend told he she would tell me so I could react ( cry, scream, ask God WHY NOT ME)without feeling bad about it. However, my best one came after i was already preg, actually i was in labor. My BFF for 20+ years also had problems getting preg and found out she was KU they night I was being induced. As i was pushing with my son and she was holding my leg she told me she was preg. I was SO happy for her I had to take a break bc i was crying so hard.

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