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Day 3 home with DD and need advise!
We made it home and DD is a sweet sweet baby being perfect, however we knew DS (17 months) would have an adjustment period. HOwerver I am not prepared as to how to handle his constant tantrums, whinning spells. I know they are just for attention and have to deal with his adjusting to the baby in the house but how to handle them.
Do I ignore them, do I try and be firm that they aren't appropriate yet. Do I overly indulge him for a few days? I am really at a loss, any input would be great.
Thanks!
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Re: Day 3 home with DD and need advise!
tough choices, huh? giving in is what he wants, so it rewards the behavior. That said, you can only imagine how difficult it is. (mine are 17 months apart too). Anyway my mom said the initial emotions are the basically the same as you would feel if your husband brought home a new wife and said "look, a new family member. Yay! You get to share my attention". Of course it's a little different but the emotional response is similar. My husband had just a new job a few month before #2 was born so he got only one day with us after we came home from the hospital. When he is off work, he took #1 out for fun without baby. And When baby is napping I still have to make sure I give big sis one-on-one time. I don't want resentment.
Don't overindulge per say, but when your #1 isn't whining or acting out, take the time to cuddle, read books, play or whatever he likes. I've found that my now 20 month old has really grown up and embraced fun new activities as our one-on-one. Last week the baby was sleeping when it was her lunch time. We pushed a stool up to the kitchen counter and made cheese pizza together with just bisquick dough, her favorite cheese shredded and spaghetti sauce. She got to try using the rolling pin, sprinkle her cheese and everything. I took pictures through the whole process. We dined on apples sauce while it baked. Good luck it is an everyday struggle, but worth the pains.
The good news... It's stopped! It lasted about 1.5 weeks. Then she was just normal again!! I know it had to do with the new baby so I tried to cut her some slack but I also didn't want her thinking it was ok to behave that way. I don't know if what I did worked or if she just worked her own way through it. But I have my sweet girl back and I'm actually enjoying her again. I will be honest that her constant whining and tantrums drove me insane enough to make want to give her to anyone who would take her! Good luck and I hope your LO gets used to the new baby sooner rather than later!
Praying for Baby Camryn
Praying for Baby Scarlett
Remembering Baby Adam
Your LO is still so young...I wouldn't see whining and tantrums as punishable events.
I would baby your older LO. Lots of cuddles and smiles, even though it's hard when you are tired and stressed.
This.
What we did was involve my oldest in everything. When I fed the baby, I'd plop him next to me in the recliner and with my free arm I'd snuggle him/read him a book/whatever he wanted to do. When baby napped, I gave him lots of undivided attention.
Just make your older child involved in everything. Teach her to hold the bottle and fetch a diaper. Having her help will make her feel good about the baby being here.
I had the same problems at first. I found that taking some time out each day for mommy and big brother time worked best to ease the tantrums. I also try to keep him involved by saying how lucky little brother is to have such a great big brother who loves him so much.