and... what is your most common argument?
DH and I used to think that we agreed on a lot of parenting choices, but now that we've actually become parents, we find that we're disagreeing on several concepts. A few of them are truly important to each of us and we've been struggling with finding a common ground. We've also been struggling with presenting our opposing ideas in a way that makes sense to the other parent. For the past few days, we've had quite a few arguments over the best choice for DD. He's a very stubborn man, so it's been quite the battle around our house, ugh!
Re: How often do you argue with your husband about a parenting choice...?
At least once a week.
Discipline is our hot-button issue.
Once a week at least. We argued this morning about giving DD her 5 am bottle. I think she doesn't need it and he thinks she does. Another frequent argument is how to get her down for naps- he gives her a bottle before her nap and I want to break the habit.
Sadly, my mom has the same views as DH and she watches DD 2x/week and DH watches her 1 full day so bc they are stuck on their way, my way goes out the window.
Danica 10.22.10 | Milo 12.23.12
ditto.
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DH is a total pushover when it comes to Ryan-he would let him get away with everything if i were not around. We struggle with that. I ALWAYS feel like the one saying no, and DH is the "good guy" (and our son is only 1!)
Big issues we struggle with are things that won't really be issues for a while (like our son hunting) but since I apparently like to argue, we discuss them all the time now, even though we probably could/should wait.
DH constantly gets on me about picking DD up too much and how I'm spoiling her and how that causes her temper tantrums. ugh! I either argue right back, or lately just sit there quietly and take it and just nod my head. It's worthless to argue back with him anymore about this subject. I think that's basically all we argue about (regarding the baby). But that happens at least 2x's a week, unfortunately. :0/
Usually about once a week and it's always the same: Discipline. I am anti-spanking for the most part. He isn't "pro" necessarily but I try and find every other alternative first.
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This! DH thinks I'm not firm enough which causes him to have to be too firm. This is in reference to the teens. Oliver doesn't need a whole lot of discipline at this point.
Yep. We fight about other things too. He gave in to giving her the paci last night because he can't stand to listen to her cry. He also doesn't agree with what I feed her. He would feed her Oreo's and Chips all day if he was home with her.
Yes, DH and my most recent argument is about me wanting to give DD organic milk. He thinks it's stupid and there's nothing wrong with non-organic milk and it's a waste of the $2-3 extra dollars a gallon. For now, I've "won" the argument, but he's majorly pissed at me.
Honestly, I think DH defers most of the parenting decisions to me. I chose our pediatrician, I chose to do extended breastfeeding, I decided when and how to do sleep-training, I decided when to potty-train, I decided when and where to start preschool. Of course I ask for his input from time to time, but he almost always goes along with whatever I suggest.
I think the only thing we disagree on is how much our kids can or cannot handle. I'm more willing to go-go-go, but DH is more the voice of reason when he thinks something is too much for our kids. I remember our very first argument was when I wanted to take our one-month-old DD1 to midnight Mass with my family after Christmas Eve dinner, and he (rightly) insisted that we take her home instead.
For the most part we're on the same page when it comes to discipline, but I am most definitely the bad cop in our household.
I'm fortunate that my DH is pretty good at compromising, which generally means that he lets me get my way:)
We haven't really fought about discipline yet. Honestly at this age, I'm not sure what works or what the best approach is. I think it helps that I honestly am interested in his opinion and I am generally open to trying a new method. He isn't pro-spanking so that helps, and he is basically a big sucker so I get to be the mean one.
This exactly. So far, we're a good team. I'm tougher about certain things and he's tougher about others.
My worry is when DD is older. DH's parents were very strict and mine were more lenient--they trusted me till I gave them a reason not to. So, we'll see what happens.
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Almost never. We tend to agree on most decisions, especially the big ones.
But we argue about plenty of other things, like this week it's furniture. :-
The main things that we argue about are safety issues and discipline. I tend to be more lax about safety stuff...letting the gate to the stairs open occasionally, letting DS be on the main floor by himself for a few minutes. DH still does the straps on DS when he sits in his booster. The kid is almost 3, I don't think he's going to fall out of his chair, ha ha.
Re: discipline, DH tends to raise his voice quickly, but he admits it's something he doesn't want to do and is working on it.
We don't really argue about anything related to DD. I guess we've already covered it once before. DH is actually more of a softy when it comes to letting DD fuss a bit at night. He can't stand to see her sad face. : )
The only thing we really fight over right now is TV. DH will let him watch TV all day if he wanted, which bugs me to no end. Otherwise for the most part we agree on things or he goes with what I say (haha).
Ask me this in another year though. I am sure we will be disagreeing on a lot more!