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Blended Families
My Controlling 1st Grader
I need help/advise: (sorry in advance for the length)
My step-daughter is in 1st grade and lives with me and my husband most of the time, and she is with her mother every-other weekend.
I am exhausted and starting to resent her... she is bullying kids at school and is rude to the parent-helpers in her class. She is very smart academically but rolls that over into thinking she is smarter than EVERYONE. This results in her sneaking and lying, trying to proove she is smarter than my husband, me, and every other adult.
She has no regard for anyone else's feelings and does whatever she wants to whoever she wants. She has stolen a girls cookies at school simply because she wanted them, she has pushed boys because they were not where she thought they should be (standing near her, standing in the wrong line, etc...)
She has major control issues and if she is not in complete control she is angry.
This morning I told her to have a good day at school and she replied with "I wont"
I now have a 6month old baby and I am starting to fear what she will do to her baby sister when I am not looking.
I fear talking to my husband about this because I dont want him to feel like I am making him choose us or her. Plus he is the only one of us working and I know he feels overly stressed by being the only breadwinner.
We have tried positive reinforecement and negative reinforcement. Which our negative reinforcement has escallated to her sitting on her bed with nothing (no toys, books, etc...) for any range of time from 30 mins to all day, depending on the offense.
This seems to just be getting worse with time and I don't know what to do or how to stop it.
I need help and advice, I am at my whitsend and I dont know what to do... Please help...
This discussion has been closed.
Re: My Controlling 1st Grader
Have you considered getting her in therapy?
First thing I think you should have a conversation with your H. Don't phrase it like an ultimatum just say "I've noticed that SD seems angry and resentful a lot. Her teachers seem to be noticing some acting out too. What do you think we can do to help her?"
Second thing, I would find a therapist. It absolutely cannot hurt and they will be able to tell you if she may have some kind of underlying issue.
Finally, pick a dicipline strategy and stick to it. Some of the ladies on here suggested "smart dicipline" a few months ago and it has worked wonders in our household. (you can Google it) The consequences start out small and build up per the number of offenses. It's been very effective with my SD. BM is even trying it with her younger kids.
Good luck. I really hope things get better.
1st grader sitting on her bed with nothing...for the whole day?? What could have she possibly done to receive that kind of punishment??
You're in over your head, if you're disciplining like that. Please seek out help from a professional family counselor, child psych, your pedi....? Anyone, really...