Are we doing our children a disservice (sp?)...

kellyrn9956 · October 2011

By using the old-fashioned names? I LOVE old-fashioned names - Beatrice, Charlotte, Hannah, Evelyn, Ramona, and Eleanor are all contenders (obviously some are more old-fashioned than others).

Yet, as I think about it, I wonder if girls with old-fashioned names will hate their names when they are surrounded by more trendy names? Will my future little Beatrice grow up to DESPISE her name?

My name is Kelly, and I SO wanted to be Tiffany or Brittany growing up. Looking back, my parents made the right choice. But I figured this was worth a discussion.

LollipopsAndCrisps · October 2011

As a Brittany, I feel as though I can give you a whole-hearted NO to your question. I think bringing back beautiful, classic names will give our daughters, phantom or not, confidence in themselves and an appreciation for a time before their own.

Trendy names, for the most part, make me cringe, and I feel as though those girls, as I did, will struggle a bit to create their own identities in a world of Aiden Ts and Ella Ms.

Additionally, I feel as though most children will go through a phase at least once in their lives where they "hate" their name. They will eventually get over it, and I'd rather my child grow to love a name that represents beautiful women before them than have my child grow to accept a name that was on the cover of Us Weekly next to a picture of some 95 pound woman's "cellulite".

Keri Marie · October 2011

Interesting question.

Both my DH's grand mothers hated their names: Emma and Margaret. But both of my grandmothers loved theirs: Deloris and Vella

I guess it depends on the person.

magsugar13 · October 2011

They may hate them when they are young, but once they become adults i think they will appreciate it.

I have a very classic name and always wanted a more trendy name...i really disliked my formal name...now i am so happy that i have a timeless elegant name.

globetrotting7 · October 2011

Interesting.Theodore and Lawrence definitely stuck out in a classroom full of Abbeys and Jacobs. They went by their nn, Ted and Larry. Both kids were often asked what their full names were since they had such "odd" names. HA!

momamatthews · October 2011

I sure hope not, my daughter's middle name is Mabel. I figure in a few years these names will make a come back and I hope they will be the "cool" ones.

AlphabetFish · October 2011

Old-fashioned names are trendy now, too, if in a slightly different way.

Plus, children won't just have to deal with their peers throughout their lives--they'll often have to deal with people older than them--bosses, professors or clients--who might respond MORE positively to old-fashioned names they'll recognize.

gisa886 · October 2011

I am a Lisa in a sea of Ashley's, Amanda's, Jessica's, Megan's and Jennifer's and I really like having a different name. My daughter's name is Hazel and if this baby is a girl she will have another older name.

[Deleted User] · October 2011

LollipopsAndCrisps:
Additionally, I feel as though most children will go through a phase at least once in their lives where they "hate" their name. They will eventually get over it, and I'd rather my child grow to love a name that represents beautiful women before them than have my child grow to accept a name that was on the cover of Us Weekly next to a picture of some 95 pound woman's "cellulite".

Hah! Well said.

Sunshine is mine · October 2011

As someone who is named Anna and grew up in a sea of Ashleys, Brittanys, Jessicas, Tiffanys, Michelles, and Stephanies. I did feel left out as a small child who longs to be just like her friends. I am now 24 and THNAK GOD that my mother had enough sense to give me a classic name. At least my name will never be dated! You will never know what generation/decade I cam from unless I say. I don't even think this is worth a discussion.

guilletskichuk · October 2011

AlphabetFish:
Old-fashioned names are trendy now, too, if in a slightly different way.
Plus, children won't just have to deal with their peers throughout their lives--they'll often have to deal with people older than them--bosses, professors or clients--who might respond MORE positively to old-fashioned names they'll recognize.

This is true...but when it matters most is when they are a child/teen. Trust me. I'm a teacher and I don't just interact with my own children or those in my family or friend groups. I encounter hundreds of children on a regular basis.

Kids can be cruel. Plain and simple. So many traditional names may sound beautiful and classic to YOU as an adult, but downright ugly to a child. And they could very well be made fun of. I hate to say it but I don't know that I've ever met a student with an "ugly", old-fashioned name that is well-respected and "popular" with their peers. I know there are a lot of you teachers out there and I'm sure some (if not most) of you would agree with me.

Names don't matter as much when we're adults. You can argue as much as you want about how they affect our professional lives. However, a good employer will never turn down the opportunity to hire someone based on their trendy/trashy/misspelled/cutesy name. If they do, they're not that good of an employer. Also, if a doctor/lawyer [insert profession here] is judged by future patients/clients based on their name, perhaps they don't need to associate with people who are so close-minded anyways.

We all want to use names we find beautiful in our own minds for various reasons. However, a lot of us are self-proclaimed name nerds that put much more thought and value into names than the average person. The average adult is likely going to be much less judgmental towards your LO when they are grown than the kids they are going to deal with for 12+ years of school.

alohamora · October 2011

guilletskichuk:
AlphabetFish:
Old-fashioned names are trendy now, too, if in a slightly different way.
Plus, children won't just have to deal with their peers throughout their lives--they'll often have to deal with people older than them--bosses, professors or clients--who might respond MORE positively to old-fashioned names they'll recognize.
Kids can be cruel. Plain and simple. So many traditional names may sound beautiful and classic to YOU as an adult, but downright ugly to a child. And they could very well be made fun of. I hate to say it but I don't know that I've ever met a student with an "ugly", old-fashioned name that is well-respected and "popular" with their peers. I know there are a lot of you teachers out there and I'm sure some (if not most) of you would agree with me.

I'm not sure I understand what you're saying. Are you just saying that the popular kids tend to have trendier names? That might be true of the generation that is currently in middle school. But if, as pp mentioned, old-fashioned names are themselves becoming somewhat of a trend, it probably won't matter by the time our kids are in middle school. The star quarterback might be Arthur, and the head cheerleader might be Kinley. Or maybe the prom queen will be Hazel, and the king will be Brayden.

I know you probably don't mean this, but you almost sound as if you're advocating that parents go with trendy names so that their kid will have an easier time of it in school.

guilletskichuk · October 2011

fitzpemberley:
guilletskichuk:
AlphabetFish:
Old-fashioned names are trendy now, too, if in a slightly different way.
Plus, children won't just have to deal with their peers throughout their lives--they'll often have to deal with people older than them--bosses, professors or clients--who might respond MORE positively to old-fashioned names they'll recognize.
Kids can be cruel. Plain and simple. So many traditional names may sound beautiful and classic to YOU as an adult, but downright ugly to a child. And they could very well be made fun of. I hate to say it but I don't know that I've ever met a student with an "ugly", old-fashioned name that is well-respected and "popular" with their peers. I know there are a lot of you teachers out there and I'm sure some (if not most) of you would agree with me.

I'm not sure I understand what you're saying. Are you just saying that the popular kids tend to have trendier names? That might be true of the generation that is currently in middle school. But if, as pp mentioned, old-fashioned names are themselves becoming somewhat of a trend, it probably won't matter by the time our kids are in middle school. The star quarterback might be Arthur, and the head cheerleader might be Kinley. Or maybe the prom queen will be Hazel, and the king will be Brayden.
I know you probably don't mean this, but you almost sound as if you're advocating that parents go with trendy names so that their kid will have an easier time of it in school.

No, what I was saying is that old-fashioned names tend to sound OLD and not necessarily as beautiful as WE seem to think they sound.

No, I don't think that popular kids tend to have trendy names...just names that are more mainstream, normal-sounding names...not nostalgic, old-fashioned names.

I'm not advocating that parents use trendy names, per se. Just normal ones. Not ugly-sounding names.

It's late. I'm tired. I don't think I'm making my point very well.

guilletskichuk · October 2011

fitzpemberley:
guilletskichuk:
AlphabetFish:
Old-fashioned names are trendy now, too, if in a slightly different way.
Plus, children won't just have to deal with their peers throughout their lives--they'll often have to deal with people older than them--bosses, professors or clients--who might respond MORE positively to old-fashioned names they'll recognize.
Kids can be cruel. Plain and simple. So many traditional names may sound beautiful and classic to YOU as an adult, but downright ugly to a child. And they could very well be made fun of. I hate to say it but I don't know that I've ever met a student with an "ugly", old-fashioned name that is well-respected and "popular" with their peers. I know there are a lot of you teachers out there and I'm sure some (if not most) of you would agree with me.

I'm not sure I understand what you're saying. Are you just saying that the popular kids tend to have trendier names? That might be true of the generation that is currently in middle school. But if, as pp mentioned, old-fashioned names are themselves becoming somewhat of a trend, it probably won't matter by the time our kids are in middle school. The star quarterback might be Arthur, and the head cheerleader might be Kinley. Or maybe the prom queen will be Hazel, and the king will be Brayden.
I know you probably don't mean this, but you almost sound as if you're advocating that parents go with trendy names so that their kid will have an easier time of it in school.

Also, I'm not sure that it will change that much when our own children are in school. I find the same thing happened when I was in school 15+ years ago. I'm a middle school teacher but I've also done my fair share of subbing over the years and aside from my permanent, half-time position, I currently sub in grades spanning K-12. Naming trends DO change overtime but not so vastly over a decade...usually at least a few decades or more.

It definitely is a regional thing as well. I have taught across Western Canada and the old-fashioned or traditional names are really not coming back as much as they seem to to the south of us.

kellyrn9956 · October 2011

Thanks ladies. Good discussion!

I started thinking about this yesterday as we were discussing baby names in the lunch room at work. One of our coworkers is pregnant. I mentioned my favorite name (Beatrice Louise) and every single person asked why I would do that to my child. I know that everyone is entitled to their opinion, but if I got that reaction from a group of kind and professional women, what kind of reaction could I expect for my child? And when I mentioned potential nn's (Bea, Betty, or Betsy), they kinda looked at me in shock.

My family (mother and sister) have also not reacted well to the name. In fact, they laughed and thought I was kidding.

Other names being thrown around the lunch room were Paige (everyone loved), Hannah (again, loved), Kylie (most people loved), Allison (liked), and Madison (most people liked).

mrsmommya · October 2011

I think traditional names that are not as widely used are best..I am a Ashley, with a Jessica and a Heather sister and a Brittany as a bestie so we all know what it feels like to always put our last name on everything cause there were at least 3 of us in every class.

Our fav.'s are Madeline and Bennett - we can't stand names like Paxton, Maddox, etc.

Other than some minor exceptions - If no one else has used that name, maybe there is a reason.

salt78 · October 2011

guilletskichuk:
Kids can be cruel. Plain and simple. So many traditional names may sound beautiful and classic to YOU as an adult, but downright ugly to a child. And they could very well be made fun of. I hate to say it but I don't know that I've ever met a student with an "ugly", old-fashioned name that is well-respected and "popular" with their peers. I know there are a lot of you teachers out there and I'm sure some (if not most) of you would agree with me.

My oldest (little) brother is 17 years old. Some of his friends that I have met have some seriously wacky old-style family names and they are the popular varsity lacrosse players at his school.

My youngest (little) brother is 13. He has an unusual family name and has never had any problems making friends and is not some huge loser dork.

So there you go.

iris427 · October 2011

There are so many kids with "old-fashioned" names that they won't seem old-fashioned at all to their generation. They will just seem normal.

guilletskichuk · October 2011

Mrs Mommy:
I think traditional names that are not as widely used are best..I am a Ashley, with a Jessica and a Heather sister and a Brittany as a bestie so we all know what it feels like to always put our last name on everything cause there were at least 3 of us in every class.

Our fav.'s are Madeline and Bennett - we can't stand names like Paxton, Maddox, etc.

Other than some minor exceptions - If no one else has used that name, maybe there is a reason.

Good point!

guilletskichuk · October 2011

kellyrn9956:
Thanks ladies. Good discussion!

I started thinking about this yesterday as we were discussing baby names in the lunch room at work. One of our coworkers is pregnant. I mentioned my favorite name (Beatrice Louise) and every single person asked why I would do that to my child. I know that everyone is entitled to their opinion, but if I got that reaction from a group of kind and professional women, what kind of reaction could I expect for my child? And when I mentioned potential nn's (Bea, Betty, or Betsy), they kinda looked at me in shock.

My family (mother and sister) have also not reacted well to the name. In fact, they laughed and thought I was kidding.

Other names being thrown around the lunch room were Paige (everyone loved), Hannah (again, loved), Kylie (most people loved), Allison (liked), and Madison (most people liked).

Wow. I didn't realize where your question was coming from. Was this an eye-opener? Do you still plan on using the name you love the most?

kellyrn9956 · October 2011

guilletskichuk:
kellyrn9956:

Thanks ladies. Good discussion!

I started thinking about this yesterday as we were discussing baby names in the lunch room at work. One of our coworkers is pregnant. I mentioned my favorite name (Beatrice Louise) and every single person asked why I would do that to my child. I know that everyone is entitled to their opinion, but if I got that reaction from a group of kind and professional women, what kind of reaction could I expect for my child? And when I mentioned potential nn's (Bea, Betty, or Betsy), they kinda looked at me in shock.

My family (mother and sister) have also not reacted well to the name. In fact, they laughed and thought I was kidding.

Other names being thrown around the lunch room were Paige (everyone loved), Hannah (again, loved), Kylie (most people loved), Allison (liked), and Madison (most people liked).

Wow. I didn't realize where your question was coming from. Was this an eye-opener? Do you still plan on using the name you love the most?

Probably. But it does make it a bit difficult, and makes me think a lot more. Although I will never be on the trendy name bandwagon, I do wonder if I should go a little more classic (like Samantha or Hannah, which have always been on my list).

Tanderson0201 · October 2011

My name is Tiffany...I have ALWAYS hated it. It's so 80s (well yes, that's when I was born) and it's just a b!tchy girl name, imo.

BelleIsa · October 2011

kellyrn9956:
guilletskichuk:
kellyrn9956:

Thanks ladies. Good discussion!

I started thinking about this yesterday as we were discussing baby names in the lunch room at work. One of our coworkers is pregnant. I mentioned my favorite name (Beatrice Louise) and every single person asked why I would do that to my child. I know that everyone is entitled to their opinion, but if I got that reaction from a group of kind and professional women, what kind of reaction could I expect for my child? And when I mentioned potential nn's (Bea, Betty, or Betsy), they kinda looked at me in shock.

My family (mother and sister) have also not reacted well to the name. In fact, they laughed and thought I was kidding.

Other names being thrown around the lunch room were Paige (everyone loved), Hannah (again, loved), Kylie (most people loved), Allison (liked), and Madison (most people liked).

Wow. I didn't realize where your question was coming from. Was this an eye-opener? Do you still plan on using the name you love the most?

Probably. But it does make it a bit difficult, and makes me think a lot more. Although I will never be on the trendy name bandwagon, I do wonder if I should go a little more classic (like Samantha or Hannah, which have always been on my list).

Beatrice was high on our list when I was pregnant with DD and everyone hated it. I don't get why - DH and I LOVE it! (We loved the combo Beatrice Louise too!)

We ended up using Claire Elisabeth, still classic but maybe no so old-fashioned, kwim?

FWIW, Beatrice is on our list again for this next LO. We still love it!!

Want a personalized experience?

Are we doing our children a disservice (sp?)...

Re: Are we doing our children a disservice (sp?)...

Choose Another Board

Search Boards