Late Term and Child Loss

cemetary WTF??

Maybe I'm hitting an anger stage but I'm so flippin mad right now!  We went to see Lilly's grave today (As we do every afternoon) and noticed a little pumpkin we'd bought for her was missing.  At first I thought an animal had dragged it off because yesterday it had a bite mark on the top where it was obviously tasted.  But I was a little surprised an animal would have dragged it off... it was not that light.  But whatever. 

As we leave I notice three graves over... our pumpkin!!!  I know it was ours for sure because of the bite mark.  Seriously who the heck does that??? WTF??  Who takes something from a fresh grave??  I'm giving the side eye to that baby's family.  It wasn't just dragged over it was lovingly placed near the grave stone tucked between a bear and an angel statue.  You'd better believe I took it back! 

DH says perhaps our pumpkin had been dragged away a bit and that family just saw it laying there and thought it didn't have a home.  I sure hope so because if they have lost a baby too and still stole from my baby.... that is just wrong on so many levels!

Sorry had to vent... figured you guys would at least appreciate my anger. 



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Re: cemetary WTF??

  • I'm going to play devil's advocate only because I would hope nobody would be as insensitive as to take your pumpkin :( It could be that when the cemetery was doing lawn maintenance, the pumpkin was moved and then they didn't know which grave it belonged to. They probably just took a guess and placed it on the other baby's grave by mistake. I hope that's what it was..I'm still sorry that it was moved :(
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  • imagegreekimport83:
    I'm going to play devil's advocate only because I would hope nobody would be as insensitive as to take your pumpkin :( It could be that when the cemetery was doing lawn maintenance, the pumpkin was moved and then they didn't know which grave it belonged to. They probably just took a guess and placed it on the other baby's grave by mistake. I hope that's what it was..I'm still sorry that it was moved :(

    This sounds like a real possibility.  Either way, I'm glad you moved your pumpkin back for your LO to have. That sounds like a lovely addition for your LO.

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  • That is such a horrible feeling... we made a beautiful bouquet of artificial flowers with a pin wheel and beautiful bow and some baby toys mixed in and someone stole it... it leave such a pit in your gut

    I am glad you found your babies pumpkin and got it back!

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  • imagegreekimport83:
    I'm going to play devil's advocate only because I would hope nobody would be as insensitive as to take your pumpkin :( It could be that when the cemetery was doing lawn maintenance, the pumpkin was moved and then they didn't know which grave it belonged to. They probably just took a guess and placed it on the other baby's grave by mistake. I hope that's what it was..I'm still sorry that it was moved :(

    This!  The cemetary where Grace is buried at, has a 3 day rule for items on gravestones.  It used to bother me, but now I'm used to it.  I usually only bring a flower when I go visit her. 

    Now the cemetary where Hannah is at, doesn't have rules on small items, so while we bring flowers, the other graves around her have small teddy bears and toys.  

    I think it just depends on the cemetary.  I'm sorry that the pumpkin was missing.  Glad you got it back.   

     

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  • People steal from our cemetary all.the.time. My mom and I we're joking about how the little plants I just get for my all 4 of the kids we have out there are going to become house plants.  I would just keep the fact that stuff gets stolen a lot in the back of your mind, that way it's not as disappointing when/if it actually happens.

  • imagegreekimport83:
    I'm going to play devil's advocate only because I would hope nobody would be as insensitive as to take your pumpkin :( It could be that when the cemetery was doing lawn maintenance, the pumpkin was moved and then they didn't know which grave it belonged to. They probably just took a guess and placed it on the other baby's grave by mistake. I hope that's what it was..I'm still sorry that it was moved :(

     I'm going to pretend it's this even though in my heart I know it's not.  Her grave is still fresh dirt what maintenance would they do?  I guess I've just never dealt with cemetary stealers before... I'm just shocked!  Who would do that?  It's so crass.  I'm the mom who goes around to all the graves standing up all the statues and bears that have fallen over because I would want someone to do that for Lilly.  I will go ahead and be a judgey mcjudgerson-- people who steal from graves suck!



    Married October 28, 2006, TTC since March 2009 IUI #1-8 w/ clomid = BFN
    IVF # 1 May, 2011 = BFP!!! Stillbirth at 26 weeks (placental failure/severe IUGR)
    FET #1 February, 2012-- BFP! Beta #1=84 Beta #2= 207 Beta #3= 3,526 Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    Our Rainbow Baby is on the Way!
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  • imageruthymusney:

    People steal from our cemetary all.the.time. My mom and I we're joking about how the little plants I just get for my all 4 of the kids we have out there are going to become house plants.  I would just keep the fact that stuff gets stolen a lot in the back of your mind, that way it's not as disappointing when/if it actually happens.

    This...and i am sorry. I hope it was just moved by accident. There was actually a news story about the cemetary where Mary is buried. People are f*ckin stealing bronze statues. wtf is wrong with some people? Ugh.

    Also, I know others are trying to be nice, but they will place candy (like around Valentines Day) on her grave. That just gets me mad because it brings ants.

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  • I'm sorry this happened, Lovey!  Unfortunately, people aren't as kind as we hope most of the time.  The cemetery where Logan is buried has a highschool right next to it.  Literally, the football field backs on to it.  Kids walk through it all the time, and my in-laws have reported items being stolen/missing in the past (DH brother is buried there too).  My sister-in-law actually taped a note to a solar candy cane she took there last year that said "one day you will have to bury a loved one, please think about that before taking something from mine."  It sucks, but it worked!  I've only had 1 thing go missing from Logan's grave....a tiny fire fighter man that was on his Little Tykes fire truck that holds his flowers.  I remember being so pissed off when it went missing.  When I told DH he said "maybe Logan took it to play with."  Although I'm convinced someone let their child wander through and take it, it was nice to think that Logan might have taken it.
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  • I would be livid! I am so sorry!!!
  • I'm so sorry.  I would be upset also.  I'm glad you got the pumpkin back.
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  • Aidan is buried with adults and they have a rule that during the majority of the year, you can't leave anything on the ground. I didn't know that at first and they moved a statue that my mom put out. I sobbed thinking someone stole it until the owner told me that I could go to the maintenance shed. If we buried him in babyland, we could keep whatever we wanted out there.
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