hi

Mrs.Honeybear · October 2011

i replied to a few threads and then i realized that this might be kind of a tight knot group so i just wanted to introduce myself.

i haven't been diagnosed, but i know in my heart on my "bad" days that the way i feel is not right. i talked to my doctor about it and she told me it was normal to feel this way but i know it's not normal and my son is almost 10 months old and i still have more "bad" days than good days. i got the courage to call a therapist once, left a message and never got a return call...so that's where i'm at. i would never hurt my baby and i love him with everything i've got, i just know thati shouldn't be crying every day and i know that there is a big chunk of me missing that i am terrified i will never get back and i mourn that constantly. and it's hard being surrounded by people who tell me just to decide to be happy...as if.

anyway, this is the worst intro ever. i just have been feeling like i am slipping more and more lately and i was hoping this would fade on it's own...you know, they say up to a year after birth? i guess my fuzzy logic expects to wake up the morning after my son's first birthday feeling awesome again like this all never happened....stupid.

anyway, hi

EVA116 · October 2011

Hello and I am so sorry you are feeling this way. My hubbie use to tell me to "just feel better" like it was that easy. If I could have I would have. I definetly think you need to get some help in some way. Find a different doctor or try a different therapist. I ended up going to my reg doc instead of my OBGYN. She was so much more helpful.

There is hope and that missing piece will slowly start to fill up with new adventures with your LO. I mourned my old life so much but now when I get the chance to go out and be in my "old life" I miss my baby. It is so hard to balance everything. You are at least recognizing that you are not your self...that is a great step.

I am hear to talk and so are the other ladies on this board.

ladipale · October 2011

::: hugs :: welcome to the board!

I hope you find the courage to reach out for help again! If your OB doesn't want to intervene, you should try your primary care doc.

Mrs.Honeybear · October 2011

thanks ladies

ksspiff · October 2011

That's very dissapointing to hear about your doctor.

cloey615 · October 2011

I was just diagnosed with my PPD about 2 weeks ago and my son is almost 9 months old. I kept a lot of things to myself and my close friends who I have talked to it about (including DH) couldn't even tell that I was feeling this way...I guess I'm a good actress! I understand how hard it is to get through a day without crying and was just thinking to myself tonight that I hardly remember who I was before I got pregnant let alone now as a mom. Meds are helping but its a constant battle every day to be happy. If you ever want to talk, I'd be happy to listen.

madcat0701 · October 2011

Hi. I know exactly what you mean..seriously. i felt the same way after the birth of our daughter 4 yrs. ago. Please seek help, keep trying, call your ob/gyn for another referral for a therapist. or have the ob/gyn themselves see you for PPD. I reached out for help about 2 months after our daughter's birth and Thank Goodness that I did. I was put on zoloft and it took about 2 weeks to kick in. I felt really no connection to the baby, she cried constantly, I didn't want to be alone in the house with her, I was afraid I'd never get my life back the way it used to be, i was anxious and could barely sleep, my mind was racing constantly. I understand! Just seek help and please know you aren't alone. Lots of women get PPD and luckily the medical community is much more open to talking about it. I am due to have baby #2 and I've already reached out to my doctor and have the medicine in my cabinet just so that I am prepared if it happens again....

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