Was this an insult? — The Bump
June 2011 Moms

Was this an insult?

So LO is sick, coughing, runny nose, congestion. Well this is her 3rd cold in about 3 months and her congestion has never really went away (see post below). Today I pick LO up from daycare and she says to me "this is only a suggestion, but you might want to put a onsie under her other onsie just in case she gets a chill. That is only a suggestion, but I think it's a good one". You would take this as her basically telling me it's my fault my child keeps getting sick?

Those of you that live in cooler weather, do you always put a second onsie on your child? Am I wrong for not doing it, please tell me if I am? I mean they are staying inside the house while she is at DC unless its over 60 degrees, then they might hang out outside. When they do go out she will put her jacket on her, etc.

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Re: Was this an insult?

  • O_o

    She said that to you today?! It's nearly 70 out there. WOW.

     

    No..I do not put A in a second onesie. You're not alone and she sounds like a Kook. Apparently she doesn't realize that colder temps do not give you a cold...viruses do.

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  • Yeah, I'd say it was an underhanded slight on your parenting, just because of the way it was said.

    Personally, unless the DC is keeping their place really cold, she shouldn't need that many layers. We keep the house between 68 and 70, and D's usually in no more than a t-shirt or short sleeved onsie and pants. The only time he wears long sleeves is if there's a noticeable chill in the house due to drafts if it's windy, or dampness because it's rainy out. 

    It's currently 70 in the house right now, and since he spit up all over his pants, D is in a diaper, t-shirt and socks, just chilling out on the playmat on the floor. We do this frequently, and he's just getting over his first cold, which was brought in by the roommate's kid from daycare. And D has actually suffered the least - the rest of us got a fever, and body aches along with the cough and congestion. Little dude's just got a runny nose.

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  • I'm going to give your DCP the benefit of the doubt and say that they didn't MEAN it as an insult (it could have been said nicer) but as a mom I would have taken it as an insult (esp the "it's just a suggestion, but a good one" ... In colder weather I usually put a onsie under DS's outfit (onsie, then shirt and pants) if the shirt IS a onsie then I would put one underneath it, I don't think a baby needs 3 layers if they are inside.  HTH!
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  • I don't think it was meant to be an insult, just more unwanted advice. We live in GA and last week it was chilly (like in the 60s) and I put 2 onsies on W. But our house is cold and he likes to be outside a good bit.
  • I've never done that. I would be annoyed at the comment, though, yes. Especially the "and I think it's a good one" part.

    Plus, it is a myth that being cold causes a cold. Germs cause a cold. So, maybe you can tell them to scrub up a little better, because your kid is catching a cold from THEIR daycare (ok, maybe you don't need to say that, but it's fun to think it).

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  • Ummm, viruses = colds NOT weather :) Congregating inside making virus transmission easier is the only link to weather. So, if she's going to insult, she should get her facts straight!
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  • I think different people have such different ideas about what is cold or warm, especially around the fall/spring time when sometimes weather can get a little chilly depending on whether you're in shade or not or if the wind picks up or not. I  don't think the teacher meant it as an insult but personally I think I would have been a little upset if the same thing had been said to me, but just a little, not enough to actually say something. I don't know the teacher or the circumstances outside of what you described above, and tone is huge in figuring out whether she was being judgy or not. 

     I am a cronic overdresser and I also chronically overdress my children. My friends make fun of me all the time but I personally would rather take off a layer if I'm hot than be somewhere feeling chilly and not have something extra to wear. So personally I wouldn't put on another onsie because those are hard to take off but I would dress her in layers like a little sweater or cardigan over whatever else she was wearing in addition to the jacket. If the teacher felt it was chilly enough to wear all of it then she'll put it on her, if not then she'll go sweaterless and wear the jacket only.  

  • I leave a little sweater /cardigan at DC-- if they think she's cold, they can put it on her, and since I'm not there, I don't have to see the mismatch horror of it :)
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  • Psh I live in nh and i hardly ever put a onsie on L.

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  • I don't think it was meant as an insult but more of "I work with lots of kids so therefore I know a ton". Yes, I would be annoyed though.

    I have never heard of using 2 onesies.

    I actually have read on SIDS articles to avoid SIDS that you want to avoid baby being warm so for me I'd rather wonder if it is maybe a tad bit too chilly than burning her up. I tend to get cold easily so when I question if it is too cold it usually is not and I choose not to add that extra jacket. They say that you'd be surprised how cold the temp "should" be for a baby. We keep our house around 75ish and that was on the warmer side for what I read. I think recommended was 65-70 which I find cold.

  • I wouldn't be offended by it. I have no idea if it's a good tip or not, but it's probably something that the DCP thinks would help with the cold. I don't think it really implies that it's your fault that your LO is sick.
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  • I think it could have been said nicer, however, I used to work at a DC and it can sometimes be hard to say ANYTHING to a parent without them getting upset (not that you are over-reacting, just saying that I'm unclear of her intentions.)

    I have never heard of two onesies.... That sounds kind of kooky to me. However, if the DC thinks your baby might be cold, then I don't see the harm in sending a sweater or long sleeved outfit in addition to pants and socks. Obviously being cold doesn't cause sickness, but if will get them to shut up, then why not? Smile

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  • image mkd00:

    I think it could have been said nicer, however, I used to work at a DC and it can sometimes be hard to say ANYTHING to a parent without them getting upset (not that you are over-reacting, just saying that I'm unclear of her intentions.)

    I have never heard of two onesies.... That sounds kind of kooky to me. However, if the DC thinks your baby might be cold, then I don't see the harm in sending a sweater or long sleeved outfit in addition to pants and socks. Obviously being cold doesn't cause sickness, but if will get them to shut up, then why not? Smile

    I always send her with a jacket and she has two sleeper at her house for that reason.

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  • I don't see it as an insult, sounds like she maybe just noticed today that your LO is cold while she's there and wanted to make the suggestion? My DC suggested we dress LO in pants and long sleeves now because they had noticed her little legs feeling a little chilly. I appreciated it - I'm not in their room all day to see how she is doing and make adjustments to her wardrobe. Now I usually dress her in layers so they can add/remove as they see fit.

    It's funny, they acted hesitant to tell me, and I didn't understand why. But after reading this post and everyone saying they'd take it as an insult, I'm guessing they have had parents take their suggestions as a comment on their parenting!  

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  • image CarlaAndJames:

    I don't see it as an insult, sounds like she maybe just noticed today that your LO is cold while she's there and wanted to make the suggestion? My DC suggested we dress LO in pants and long sleeves now because they had noticed her little legs feeling a little chilly. I appreciated it - I'm not in their room all day to see how she is doing and make adjustments to her wardrobe. Now I usually dress her in layers so they can add/remove as they see fit.

    It's funny, they acted hesitant to tell me, and I didn't understand why. But after reading this post and everyone saying they'd take it as an insult, I'm guessing they have had parents take their suggestions as a comment on their parenting!  

    It was more in the way she said it.

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  • I have never put two onesies on DS. Confused

    Maybe she meant that when babies HAVE a cold that they can often feel cold even when the temps (inside and out) aren't that cold yet? Don't know...it does sound a little strange, but I wouldn't necessarily take it as an insult.



  • image jkchs2003:
    image CarlaAndJames:

    I don't see it as an insult, sounds like she maybe just noticed today that your LO is cold while she's there and wanted to make the suggestion? My DC suggested we dress LO in pants and long sleeves now because they had noticed her little legs feeling a little chilly. I appreciated it - I'm not in their room all day to see how she is doing and make adjustments to her wardrobe. Now I usually dress her in layers so they can add/remove as they see fit.

    It's funny, they acted hesitant to tell me, and I didn't understand why. But after reading this post and everyone saying they'd take it as an insult, I'm guessing they have had parents take their suggestions as a comment on their parenting!  

    It was more in the way she said it.

    Gotcha. I didn't mean that you were acting silly, just thinking maybe she was just trying to help. 

    Although...I've never heard of putting two onesies on. Maybe a onesie plus a sleeper over it, but never two onesies. Isn't this the same woman who told you it was too cold for babylegs?  

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  • image CarlaAndJames:
    image jkchs2003:
    image CarlaAndJames:

    I don't see it as an insult, sounds like she maybe just noticed today that your LO is cold while she's there and wanted to make the suggestion? My DC suggested we dress LO in pants and long sleeves now because they had noticed her little legs feeling a little chilly. I appreciated it - I'm not in their room all day to see how she is doing and make adjustments to her wardrobe. Now I usually dress her in layers so they can add/remove as they see fit.

    It's funny, they acted hesitant to tell me, and I didn't understand why. But after reading this post and everyone saying they'd take it as an insult, I'm guessing they have had parents take their suggestions as a comment on their parenting!  

    It was more in the way she said it.

    Gotcha. I didn't mean that you were acting silly, just thinking maybe she was just trying to help. 

    Although...I've never heard of putting two onesies on. Maybe a onesie plus a sleeper over it, but never two onesies. Isn't this the same woman who told you it was too cold for babylegs?  

    Yes, and I asked her about that. She said she meant for outside, not in the house.

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  • I actually just put a onesie on under Vi's pjs tonight for the first time and will now start putting a short sleeved white onesie under all her clothes...but I haven't until now (I live in NE too)
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  • I never do.  In the middle of winter I put a onesie then shirt and pants.  Right now we are still rocking just one layer.
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