I'm feeling guilty, Team Green enter

kpsHoneyBear · October 2011

I don't have any "feelings" about what Baby is. Even my husband said something about it a couple days ago. Like "You don't have any feelings? Give me a clue!?" But I really don't know. Sometimes I think maybe girl, sometimes maybe boy. It seems other mommies I meet that were Team Green all "knew" they were having a boy or girl.

I feel like a bad mom and it kind of hurt that DH said that. I don't want to sound whiny... I'm honestly struggling here. I am so excited to meet our baby, but these guilty/sad feelings really suck.

Thanks for letting me get it off my chest, ladies.

nilly5 · October 2011

Don't feel too bad. Many ladies will have a hunch on what they are having and many won't. Girl I work with is team green and she has no feelings one way or the other.

Kelly1109 · October 2011

With DD I swore I was having a boy and am so glad we found out or else I would have told them that the baby was not mine

this time I think girl but only because I had such a similar pregnancy. I could be way off though as i obviously didn't have mothers intuition the first time. No matter what you'll love them unconditionally.

NeenyW · October 2011

I'm on Team Green and don't have a solid feeling either way. I kinda thought girl early on, but everyone else (especially strangers) has been saying boy the whole time. Then I thought maybe this is a boy...now I'm sort of back to girl. I don't really have a strong feeling either way and I think that's okay.

Are you feeling badly because you are afraid you're not truly bonding with your baby because you don't know what it is? Sometimes I worry about that a bit, but then I remember that bonding isn't just about visualizing your LO running around in a cute dress or osh kosh b'gosh overalls.

I'd feel worse being convinced the baby was one sex or another and then being wrong! Sorry you're feeling this way, I don't think not having a strong feeling means something is wrong with you or that you're not connected with your LO.

PecanSam · October 2011

We are team green and neither of us have any idea what we are having. Remember, it's a 50/50 chance that the people that have hunches are correct. I think the people that have hunches, have the hunch based on something. Like the way they are carrying or some other old wives tale.

I'm very comfortable about not having a feeling of what we were are having. I honestly don't have a preference on the sex of our baby but if I had a feeling that we were having one over the other, than there is a chance we would be disappointed if I were wrong.

I think it's better not having a hunch. What's the point of being team green if we think we know what we are having.

EveryNameIWantIsTaken · October 2011

I'm a few weeks ahead of you and still have no clue. I haven't this whole time. Everyone around me, including my doctor, say girl but I'm just not convinced. Guess we'll both find out soon enough!

DiademChi · October 2011

I had no intuition about the gender. I was clueless. Don't worry about it.

emd2887 · October 2011

We're team green and neither DH nor I have a clue. I say boy and he says girl whenever people ask, because we figure one of us will be right. But it's not like I have this feeling that it's a boy.

JoAnna914 · October 2011

PecanSam:

We are team green and neither of us have any idea what we are having. Remember, it's a 50/50 chance that the people that have hunches are correct. I think the people that have hunches, have the hunch based on something. Like the way they are carrying or some other old wives tale.

I'm very comfortable about not having a feeling of what we were are having. I honestly don't have a preference on the sex of our baby but if I had a feeling that we were having one over the other, than there is a chance we would be disappointed if I were wrong.

I think it's better not having a hunch. What's the point of being team green if we think we know what we are having.

All of this. There's no point feeling guilty about not knowing something that you have no way of actually knowing (unless you ask for the info from the tech/your doctor). I love not knowing, and not having a feeling either way, because the focus is purely on the health of our little one. That's all that matters to me.

GoombaGirl_79 · October 2011

I am not team green, but with this pregnancy I had no real feeling about if it was a boy or girl. With DS #1 I was CERTAIN it was a boy almost right away. But in general I don't seem to be as connected with this baby... probably because I am so busy with DS I don't have as much time to sit and reflect on being pregnant! I'm hoping we have a big happy bonding time after the little one is born because right now I feel kind of disconnected :-( It's weird.

kpsHoneyBear · October 2011

NeenyW:
I'm on Team Green and don't have a solid feeling either way. I kinda thought girl early on, but everyone else (especially strangers) has been saying boy the whole time. Then I thought maybe this is a boy...now I'm sort of back to girl. I don't really have a strong feeling either way and I think that's okay.
Are you feeling badly because you are afraid you're not truly bonding with your baby because you don't know what it is? Sometimes I worry about that a bit, but then I remember that bonding isn't just about visualizing your LO running around in a cute dress or osh kosh b'gosh overalls.
I'd feel worse being convinced the baby was one sex or another and then being wrong! Sorry you're feeling this way, I don't think not having a strong feeling means something is wrong with you or that you're not connected with your LO.

I do think that it has something to do with that. I do feel like I have bonded with the baby though, without knowing the gender. And as I think about it, I think DH may have said what he did because he is so excited and anxious to see the LO out in the world. I think he is having a bit of a hard time because he wants to be a daddy so bad but can't experience/bond with the baby yet- not in the way I can, anyways.

I do feel better after reading all your responses. Now I can go back to enjoying the rest of my pregnancy

tosh24 · October 2011

Don't feel bad. Some women have a hunch and are right, some women have a hunch and are wrong....you've got a 50/50 chance of being right, so it's easy to see how some women get it right. I really don't think it has anything to do with a "mother's intuition". We're Team Green and DH and I both think boy....but I also thought boy when I was pregnant with DD, so......

getnmarried910 · October 2011

I don't either. I "just knew" with both of my girls right from the start, and even with DS, right before we found out, I knew. Not this time. I have no feeling one way or the other. People ask me all the time. You're not a bad mom. It's pretty normal.

georgia3 · October 2011

I don't have any leaning one way or the other. People ask me all the time, like I'm really holding out on them and just not telling when I really know

It certainly doesn't reflect poorly on your mothering skills or your ability to bond with your baby. Just because you know what color clothes to buy doesn't make you a better mother

Mrs E 122608 · October 2011

If you're a bad mom so am I. We're team green too and I have no gut feeling. I'm with you, some days I think boy and some days I think girl!

hayleydeee · October 2011

We were team green with DD, and neither of us had a feeling one way or the other. Don't feel bad. Besides there will be way more "mom guilt" to come, so try not to start now!

ETA: This time we did find out (well, the doc blurted it out) and I actually feel less connected than I did when we were team green. The fun of not knowing, is not knowing! I loved having that surprise once she was born.

love22 · October 2011

I wouldn't feel bad. My cousin was team green and everyone except for 2 of their friends thought it was a girl. They even painted the nursery purple they were so sure it was girl. Even I was completely convinced it was a girl and it was a boy. Having a feeling doesn't mean anything.

indiana101 · October 2011

We're team green and I don't have any sense of what the baby is. I don't feel guilty in the slightest - after all we chose to be team green so we would have a surprise at the end.

I guess if there is anything I should feel guilty about, it's that I do have a slight preference for a girl. I'm sure once LO is here, I'll instantly love him/her regardless, but in the meantime I can't help but want a little girl.

kwinkle1980 · October 2011

Sorry ladies, but you can't "know." You can guess and be right, or you can be wrong. I "knew" my kid was a girl and was 100% dead wrong. You have a 50/50 shot, and if you get it right it does not mean you are more in tune. OP, don't worry about it. You are just as in tune with your baby as everyone else.

MrsRucinski85 · October 2011

everyone is all like "oh you're the mom you should know" ugh... I am so sick of those comments! I know my baby is a baby and that he/she is healthy and that I will love the baby either way and that we have a 50/50 shot of what the baby will be and will find out what he/she is in 9 more weeks!

MrsT2008 · October 2011

I'm not team green, but I had zero feelings before our anatomy scan and even now that we've been told it's a girl, I still don't "feel" like it's a girl (or a boy)!

MessyMommy · October 2011

Im not team green .. BUT

I didnt have any "instinct" or feelings about the gender of our LO either - not ONE tiny little clue ..

I felt like maybe I was missing something because everyone else had "feelings" ...

so I understand how you feel - even now that we know shes a girl - like the last post said - I dont necessarily FEEL like its a girl OR a boy haha

acalan13 · October 2011

I'm with you. Not sure what it is. Who cares?? We will know soon enough. It is fun to listen to what others think!! Try not to let it bother you. It is no indication of you or you as a mom.

kpsHoneyBear · October 2011

MrsRucinski85:
everyone is all like "oh you're the mom you should know" ugh... I am so sick of those comments! I know my baby is a baby and that he/she is healthy and that I will love the baby either way and that we have a 50/50 shot of what the baby will be and will find out what he/she is in 9 more weeks!

Exactly! Well put Stick out tongue

Thanks everyone for making me not feel like a bad mommy anymore. It's so much better to just be excited again!

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