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2nd Trimester
repedrick
member
How often do or will grandparents see your LO?
repedrick
member
Just curious cause my MIL is driving me nuts.
My mom lives 6 hours away so we only see her every 2-3 months for 2 or 3 days.
My dad & stepmom we see a couple times a month
My inlaws on the other hand- we usually see them once a week but she complains that it is not enough. She thinks she needs to see DD 3x a week. I'm not talking quick stop in visits- she expects a few hours at a time or for DD to come over for the full day.
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Re: How often do or will grandparents see your LO?
Right not my MIL gets her other 2 grandkids EVERY WEEKEND! Sounds good but neither set of parents work so they think of it as a break. DH and I both work full time jobs that require OT so therefore we want weekends with our child. I told her she might be able to get them every other weekend but seeing that we work a lot the weekend would be the time to spend with him. My mom lives about an hour away so I think he will go with her and my dad once a month. We havent really planned anything out but MIL will not have him every weekend sorry lol
She will see H's dad and stepmom and my dad and stepmom once a week or every other week. They all live within an easy driving distance from us.
I can't imagine she'll see my mom more than once or at most twice a year seeing as she packed up and moved to the other side of the country with her boyfriend. If I sound bitter about that, it's because I am.
We live pretty far away for a casual visit 3x a week..... It's about an hour and a half down to where everyone lives. I could see coming down twice or so a month casually or maybe having a special sleepover weekend once in a blue moon (there are health issues so I'd probably be down there WITH LO)
My MIL sees her other grandkid pretty often since she lives down there but I'm thinking most of our communication mid-week will be via phone or facebook. I can see her (not my mom so much.... there are issues there) wanting to spend a lot of time with LO (she's really interested on pregnancy progress reports) but it seems manageable. Plus she can't take long trips so since I'm the only one making the drive I've got more control over when/if we go down there....
Me (32) DH (30)
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Baby Evangeline is here!
My parents see DS every week day as my mom baby sits..and my dad catches him a few times a week if he's still at home when I drop him of.. or if i catch him when he drops DH off after work..
MY MIL sees DS 3 or 4 times a year.. they live 4 hours away.. so we don't make it there too often.. DH is not a big fan of his family so we see them for the odd holiday and special events
My mom lives 1500 miles away, so she see LO once maybe twice a year.....sad, I wish I could see her at least once a week
MIL live about an hour away, so we see them once a month. They love our LO, but she is the 29th grandchild for them.....they don't get all mushy over her....plus they are 72 and 75. My mom on the other hand is 53 and this is her only (soon to have a second) grandchild...so it's much different for her.
Up until recently my mom was our part-time DC so she saw DD 2-3 times per week. We also go out to dinner with my parents every other Friday night. Now we have moved 30 miles away so we will probably only see them 3-4 times per month. DD is the only grandchild (until #2 arrives) and my parents haven't been able to get enough of her since day 1. My parents house is the only place DD has spent the night away from us.
Before we moved my ILs lived 5 blocks away. However they showed little interest in spending time with DD. At DD's baptism they actually offered to watch DD occasionally. I asked a few times because I wanted DD to spend time with her other grandparents but they almost always said no or said yes at first then flaked. I kind of gave up. Now DD only sees them about once a month or less.
To OP: As long as you trust your MIL with your LO I would use this to your advantage. Drop her off for a few hours and use the time to run errands or go to lunch with a friend.
We live about 1/2 mile from my in-laws and 1 mile from my mom and step-dad and we ALL work in the same town (my in-laws have a local family business where my husband also works). Needless to say they will be seeing LO SEVERAL times a week, no one really knows how often...but right now we see them all almost everyday, so I'm sure it won't decrease when there is a LO to snuggle!
This can be a blessing and a curse at the same time...they are all great people (although my MIL in slightly crazy), but sometimes we just need a break! The grass is always greener on the other side though, I'm sure if they were hours away I would want them closer!
My folks live out of state, so if we are lucky, they will see the baby on holidays. I would LOVE for them to see their very first grandbaby much more often! I grew up out of state from my grandparents, and to this day, I don't really like being around them- they are almost like strangers.
My inlaws, however, I wish would see less of my LO. We currently live with my MIL, and FIL lives just a few miles away. Because DH was a single dad for so long, SD was mostly raised by MIL. MIL acts like Mom and contradicts everything I say to SD. Even if DH steps in and says No, MIL will go behind his back to say Yes. I know that grandparents do that sort of thing, but when the grandparent LIVES with the grandchild, some sort of boundaries should exist. I am pretty terrified that my child won't be raised the way I want him to be because MIL will swoop in and take over if I'm not holding him 24/7.
My mom sees DD at least twice a week because she watches her part time during the week. We typically see my parents together (usually a family get together or something) an additional 2-3 times a month.
DH's family live fairly close by, but are not really in our life. His dad has seen DD twice, and his mom maybe 4-5 times since she was born. That's more than enough for us.
Marriage: 12.18.04
DD1: 5.19.10
DD2: 4.11.12
My parents see DS every 2-3 months, they live 4 hours away.
In-laws see DS every other week maybe. Not too often. MIL does keep him over night every so often, maybe once every 3 or 4 months.
DHs grandparents see DS every month or 2.
I think seeing your LO once a week is plenty. They are grandparents, not the parents.
Once or twice per month. Both sides live 45 - 60 minutes away. We work full time and travel for work. Weekends are our family time and we do our best to balance everything as well as we can. Both sides complain a lot, even if its only been a week or two since they last saw DS. Both sides also prefer we visit them rather than come to our house though neither side has baby proofed or has a decent place for DS to nap. Lastly, one side smokes in the house, which I despise.
Our LO won't be seeing their grandparents that often, which makes me sad. My parents live in OH, while we're in NYC. My Mom likes to make 2-3 day trips to visit us every few months and we try to make most holidays and family occasions, though it's tough as we don't have a car.
My real guilt though is over my ILs. They live in England. This year has been an exception and we will have seen them twice, but most year's we either go over there for a week or they come here for a week. My MIL is a big child person too. She is a certified nursery nurse and often works with special needs kids as a classroom assistant. She just has a big heart for kids and I know it makes her sad that we're so far away. My parents joke that they are probably applying for a green card as we speak and searching out housing in the suburbs, but I know that FIL would prefer to retire to the South of France.
We don't know where we'll be living yet. If we have to move out of state, it will only be until LO is 9 months old. Our families live about 20 minutes from eachother so whenever we come visit, they will both see her. It will only be a couple of times before we move back. But my parents will probably see her more because if it's just me and her, we will stay at their house and because they will make an effort to see her where as my IL wont. (they won't make the effort to go see their son either). If we stay here/when we are here, we'll probably see my family at least once a week.
IL's- 3 or 4 times a year. They live in W.Virginia and we are in Missouri.
My parents- about twice a week. We live in the same small suburb and go to the same church.
Both sets of grandparents live about 30 minutes away from us.
We see both on average 2x a month. They've both done a few overnights but not many. While both sets love to see my daughter, they think the amount they see her now is fine and so do we.
Sadly not as often as we would want. We live in the other side of the world from my parents, they will be here for the birth of our LO and stay for a month. After that we will go visit once a year as I always do and stay for around a month or month and half. When we go back to my county in a few years they will see LO all the time.
We live 3 hours away for the ILs but we really don't have a relationship with them since MIL is rude and controlling and FIL does everything she says. They will probably not even meet our little girl until they apologize and don't cross any boundaries. MIL thinks she can ignore the parents and take over the grandkids. When we got married and we still talked to them she told us to hurry up and have kids and we could just send them to live with her and she will raise them, WTH??? The kicker is that she didn't raise my DH (her first child) her sisted did.
We will probably only see my in-laws 2 times a year. 10 hour drive, and they do not visit here
We will probably see my family more often, maybe 6-12 times a year. They live closer (4 hours) and come to visit us too.
I hate thinking about this. I'm due Apr 2012.
I live in MA, about 40 minutes from our in-laws. I KNOW they willl want to see baby at least once a week. My parents live in FL.... and will only see baby 2 or 3 times a year! It really makes me so sad and guilty. My MIL will take millions of pics and post them all on Facebook, which will just crush my mom - who already is sad, too. I grew up seeing my gparents twice a year, and my mom and I always swore we wouldn't be distant like that.
I know there's nothing I can do... but, I will definately say we need "family time" as parents, PLUS baby's sleep schedule is really important to me. So, I can use that as an excuse for a few months I hope.