Late Term and Child Loss

Haven't been back since we buried her

A week tomorrow. I want to go but I've got my mom and I don't want to take her. WWYD?

Re: Haven't been back since we buried her

  • Are you able to drive yourself? I would say that you need some time to go sit and be with Kyndal.
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  • I agree with magdalina.  It's hard for me because we live 20 minutes away from the cemetary.  It's not so convenient.  I feel guilty alot because I really do want to go.  When I am able to go I usually spend an hour or more just sitting there.  I find that the cemetery is actually quite peaceful.  A place where I don't have to have any walls around my heart.  *hugs* 
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  • imagemagdalina.h:
    Are you able to drive yourself? I would say that you need some time to go sit and be with Kyndal.

    I agree. If you don't want to tell your mom, just say you need to get out and get some air for a bit.

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  • imagejohnnys june:
    I agree with magdalina.  It's hard for me because we live 20 minutes away from the cemetary.  It's not so convenient.  I feel guilty alot because I really do want to go.  When I am able to go I usually spend an hour or more just sitting there.  I find that the cemetery is actually quite peaceful.  A place where I don't have to have any walls around my heart.  *hugs* 

    I decided to let her go. We're on our way. I have a brother and a sister buried there, so I figured I should stop being so selfish and maybe it will help our relationship. I'm hoping the cemetery will become that place for me. I need that time. It's so hard to deal with. I don't know that I am as sane as I act like I am.  

     

  • we've been to the cemetary every day since we buried Lilly-- I've found it comforting to go and talk to her and be in a very peaceful place with her.  That being said I feel like at some point we need to not go everyday-- it's like picking a scab off a wound every time.  It hurts a lot but nice to cry and talk to my baby. 


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  • imageagran:
    we've been to the cemetary every day since we buried Lilly-- I've found it comforting to go and talk to her and be in a very peaceful place with her.  That being said I feel like at some point we need to not go everyday-- it's like picking a scab off a wound every time.  It hurts a lot but nice to cry and talk to my baby. 

    See I feel guilty that this is the first time I've been. I cry for her and talk to her and the Lord everyday, but I don't feel stable enough to drive. My head has just been too cloudy. Although, that may change shortly, my mom is a crazy driver. 

  • I don't think you should ever feel guilty... the one thing I have figured out is you just have to do what works for you.  I hope you enjoyed your time with her at her grave.  And your last line made me smile-- I like it when we can find something funny in very sad times.  My mom is a crazy driver too... maybe it's just a grandmother thing.


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  • I hope you can go soon and find it peaceful and calming... I know I really do. I also know people that emotionally can not go very often and that is ok for them too. you need to do what is right for you.
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  • I used to go to the cemetery every Friday after work. I sobbed to my mom asking if I was a bad mom because I needed to stop doing that. She reminded me that I don't have to go there to talk to Aidan. I talk to him all the time and that the cemetery is for me since he's always with me.
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