Haven't been back since we buried her

ruthymusney · October 2011

A week tomorrow. I want to go but I've got my mom and I don't want to take her. WWYD?

magdalina.h · October 2011

Are you able to drive yourself? I would say that you need some time to go sit and be with Kyndal.

johnnys june · October 2011

I agree with magdalina. It's hard for me because we live 20 minutes away from the cemetary. It's not so convenient. I feel guilty alot because I really do want to go. When I am able to go I usually spend an hour or more just sitting there. I find that the cemetery is actually quite peaceful. A place where I don't have to have any walls around my heart. *hugs*

pb127 · October 2011

magdalina.h:
Are you able to drive yourself? I would say that you need some time to go sit and be with Kyndal.

I agree. If you don't want to tell your mom, just say you need to get out and get some air for a bit.

ruthymusney · October 2011

johnnys june:
I agree with magdalina. It's hard for me because we live 20 minutes away from the cemetary. It's not so convenient. I feel guilty alot because I really do want to go. When I am able to go I usually spend an hour or more just sitting there. I find that the cemetery is actually quite peaceful. A place where I don't have to have any walls around my heart. *hugs*

I decided to let her go. We're on our way. I have a brother and a sister buried there, so I figured I should stop being so selfish and maybe it will help our relationship. I'm hoping the cemetery will become that place for me. I need that time. It's so hard to deal with. I don't know that I am as sane as I act like I am.

agran · October 2011

we've been to the cemetary every day since we buried Lilly-- I've found it comforting to go and talk to her and be in a very peaceful place with her. That being said I feel like at some point we need to not go everyday-- it's like picking a scab off a wound every time. It hurts a lot but nice to cry and talk to my baby.

ruthymusney · October 2011

agran:
we've been to the cemetary every day since we buried Lilly-- I've found it comforting to go and talk to her and be in a very peaceful place with her. That being said I feel like at some point we need to not go everyday-- it's like picking a scab off a wound every time. It hurts a lot but nice to cry and talk to my baby.

See I feel guilty that this is the first time I've been. I cry for her and talk to her and the Lord everyday, but I don't feel stable enough to drive. My head has just been too cloudy. Although, that may change shortly, my mom is a crazy driver.

agran · October 2011

I don't think you should ever feel guilty... the one thing I have figured out is you just have to do what works for you. I hope you enjoyed your time with her at her grave. And your last line made me smile-- I like it when we can find something funny in very sad times. My mom is a crazy driver too... maybe it's just a grandmother thing.

kate6267 · October 2011

I hope you can go soon and find it peaceful and calming... I know I really do. I also know people that emotionally can not go very often and that is ok for them too. you need to do what is right for you.

magdalina.h · October 2011

I used to go to the cemetery every Friday after work. I sobbed to my mom asking if I was a bad mom because I needed to stop doing that. She reminded me that I don't have to go there to talk to Aidan. I talk to him all the time and that the cemetery is for me since he's always with me.

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