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Upstate NY Babies
Keeping your cool and carseat question
1. How do you keep your cool when LO is just being unruly?
2. How do you deal with them not wanting to get in their carseat day after day?
This is how my daycare pick up went today....got there and found out she had a horrible day. Her usual teacher was out and apparently DD didn't listen to the other teacher all day. Peed her pants twice (she's been accident free for 2wks now), refused to even lie down for rest time (therefore no nap again), etc. We got to leave and she melts down about getting her jacket on...fine, no jacket. I get her to the car and as soon as I open the back door she freaks out-screaming her head off, clinging to me, etc. I tried putting her in the carseat and she arches her back, got herself to where she was going head first towards the pavement and I lost it-I totally screamed at her b/c she scared me to death....this just lead to more of a meltdown, etc. Lets just say it took me over 20min to get her in the carseat-we were both in tears by the time we left. It was just awful. And she's been doing this for DH in the mornings as well now. I usually dont have a problem at pick up, but apparently that lucky steak is over.
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Re: Keeping your cool and carseat question
I'm sorry. I wish I had some advice, but I don't. I have this same problem times 2 with the added problem of unbuckling carseats. There have been many, many days that I end up hitting the top of the car with my hands and just screamed at nothing. Or cried all the way to school and wore sunglasses in the building for drop off. I spoke with the behavior lady who comes to my house about this, she recommended giving the kids some sort of card or something that they are responsible for delivering to school. I haven't tried it though. When they unbuckle their seats, I pull over. It once took me an hour to go 6 miles.
Would it be wrong to think it may be because of the baby on the way? Changes around the house? Not understanding the time line of a new baby? It isn't unusual for kids to say and act happy about something, but then have behavior changes because of it too.
1. TBH - maybe it is because dd is still a bit younger than your dd. She really only has melt downs when she is over-tired. But distraction and giving choices helps a ton to diffuse the situation still for her. I don't know though - maybe this will change soon as she gets older? For now, I feel pretty lucky. I am actually much worse at laughing, which only reinforces bad behavior than losing it for now. We will see what happens when I have the baby though, because I don't do well on no sleep.
2. DD used to do the full back arch, stiff body and scream when I put her in the car seat. Now, I just let her climb in herself. It works out great bc 1- I don't have to pick her up, and 2- she is doing it by herself which she likes to do. I have the emergency car kit box on the floor for her to step on so she can reach the seat. There are times that I am in a hurry or whatever that I just put her in, and she starts to flip out but I will quickly tell her that she can get in by herself the next time and she accepts that.
We also talk a lot about what else we have planned for the day. I think that helps distract her from the initial being in the car seat. And whenever I can, I give her choices and let her choose the order if it's not a big deal. Like today I had to stop in at BBBaby, so I asked her if she wanted to see the doggys (next door at petsmart) first or go on the slide first at BBB. Errands in and out can be tough, so I think she likes getting to choose and knowing what to expect.
1. We rarely have these issues, I too give choices and he does well with that. Also reverse psychology is working wonders right now....to the point that I too laugh. "I don't want to do___" while whining. I say "ok, don't do _____ then." and boom he does what I asked to begin with. If he isn't listening I stop everything and say "Where are your ears?". He will say where they are and I ask if they are working, can you hear what mommy is asking you. He will say yes, and that he is listening.....by the end of this conversation he has forgotten what he was upset about and doing what I asked. To him it is important to listen to mommy and make me happy, not sad. I don't know how long all this will last, but it is what we do for now.
2. The only car seat issue we have is he wants to sit in any other seat but his, or he wants to drive. I never leave late enough to be in a rush, so I just wait...and tell him we can't go wherever we are headed until he is in his seat. "Do you want to go _______?" "Well we can't until you are buckled up in your seat!". I have also just taken him out of the car and said we were staying home, he usually scrambles in his seat.
Good luck!
JNK.....we ALWAYS visit the animals at PS after/before a B3 trip!
I've been letting Evan climb in the seat himself, which helps. He's really in a "I can do it myself" stage.
If Evan gets overworked and throws a fit over something I try and remain as calm as I can (which I know is easier said than done) and get down to his level. First I'll try and distract him, or sometimes simply ask him why he's so upset/mad. If that doesn't work I will firmly tell him "you have to do x" Like last night he would not get out of the tub. I told him it was time to get out and tried to pick him up, but he went limp and was slippery so I couldn't grab him. He laid in the tub yelling/crying and I just knelt down and said "Evan are you going to be a good boy for mommy and get out of the tub?" first he said no, then I told him it makes mommy sad when he doesn't listen (he's really into asking us if we are happy, or telling us he's happy etc) and he got out... but of course had to climb out himself!
1. I am not the calmest person. I try really hard not to lose it with the kids. I just try to stay calm.
2. we have been letting ethan climb in the carseat by himself. That helps a lot. if we are in a hurry and i try to put him in then he freaks out so I just let him climb in. if he is still freaking out then we try ditracting him or letting him have his meltdown and then he will be fine