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Just got a DX for autism and my family does not believe in it?

baybee07baybee07 member
in Special Needs

I guess I just don't discipline my kid...it's not autism!  All the Dr, his team at school are all wrong!

 We got a "blanket" DX from the neuorologist that our son has aspergers.  They are going to start a battery of testing to find truly where on the spectrum he falls. I called my Dad and he was said that there is NO way that he does...they are incorrect...he is a kid being a kid and to "come down harder on him!" 

I know I'm not the first to have family object to the dx, so how do you deal?  My family is around my kid maybe 6 times a year (more often with his cousins) and they do not believe what his intervention team, his pedi, me and now the neuro have said. I am already "fighting" my kid when out in public and now I feel like I either have something to prove or that my kid is not bad!

 

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Re: Just got a DX for autism and my family does not believe in it?

  • AnloAnlo
    I'm sorry you're not getting the support you need from your family. I don't have advice as to how to deal with them, but I would suggest finding some sort of support system, whether it's message boards like this or a parents' group so that you have someone to talk to who knows where you're coming from. What therapies is your DS receiving? For me, it's been amazing to meet other moms in my position now that DS has started developmental preschool. I'm sure some other ladies will have some advice for you too.
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  • His(1&only)wifeHis(1&only)wife member

    I'm sorry your family is not being supportive and instead are being negative.  The majority of my family has been very supportive and we have not told the ILs yet.  My sister however is not completely on board.  Yesterday she said to me (out of the blue) "we all think you're doing a great job and I know you're stressed out BUT I just don't want to see him with a label if he doesn't need it.  I know you need it to recieve treatment though".  It's as if she thinks the ASD label is optional.  I just woke up one day and said "gosh I'd love to label my child what sounds like the most fun choice".  She has made a similar comment before and I just don't know how to respond.

    Yesterday I told her, "it's not like we tell everyone we see but it's important to know and be able to work with him in a positive way".  Ugh why can't families just "fall in line" :/

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  • changingnameschangingnames member
    I'm so sorry you are ging thru this. It is hard enough to handle all of this without unsupportive people in our lives. I am going thru a similar thing with my mom, who unfortunately loves next door. She informed me the oth day that she doesn't think we wnt thru infertility (ya I gave myself daily shots and had an IUI bc I thought it would be fun and had an extra couple g and couldn't find any shoes I wanted). She also told me that she doesn't believe in ds PDD-NOS dx and tore apart their credentials etc. "I worked with children like ds and we didn't call them asd we called them children." and the ever popular "so and so did that he is just fine.". Hope things get better for you.

    Maybe we should form a supper group for parents with parents who are in denial.

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  • BonnyDoonBonnyDoon

    I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. I posted something similar regarding my sister below. She said to me this weekend "Why can't you make her stop running around? If you weren't so easy on her maybe she'd listen." Are you kidding me?! She also does not have children and is pretty judgemental about the parenting of her friends as well.

    AS for parents, my Dad was in denial for a long time. He thought she was just really smart because she knew her letters, numbers, shapes, etc. really early. When we received DD's diagnosis (PDD-NOS) I called to tell my parents. I told my Dad the details (including the part about "hyperlexia") and he made this "huurummph" sound on the other end of the phone. I asked him what that meant and he said "Well, psychologists just make things up." I went off on him! I told him that he's known what we've been dealing with for a long time, and it was now time for him to get on board. If not, we would not share any details of DD's therapy, school etc. I said we, as her parents, needed support and we would not take any attitude like he was giving us. He backed off after that. I still do need to remind him, and especially my Mom, that DD is not suddenly going to "catch up" to the other kids and "be fine." They're better now, but it's an ongoing process for all of to accept the diagnosis.

    Please vent all you want here. It is a great group and we'll support you as best we can!

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