Rethinking the Breastfeeding Class...

Happily Overwhelmed · October 2011

As we get closer my mind is staying made up about not taking the childbirth class. Right or wrong I'd rather not take this. I've discussed it with my doctor and feel okay with my choice of passing on this class...

However, I'm much more worried about breastfeeding. Sure, birth is a huge deal...but I'll have a staff there and it's kinda more of a one time thing.

Breastfeeding seems so....scary! They are going to send me home with this little helpless person and I'm in charge of knowing how to feed him/her. AHHHHH!!!

I've been reading books and feeling a bit better about it. But (and this might be strange) I feel like I need support. DH doesn't seem to be into the breastfeeding material. He's excited I'm breastfeeding (after watching all about the benefits on "The Today Show"--thanks NBC!). But really he's pushing this whole thing off on me.

Neither grandma's-to-be breastfed. No one in my close circle of friends have done it (or at least exclusively for very long). I feel pretty alone on the subject.

To top it off my mother has already been preaching about getting a pump so "everyone can have their turn with LO". I keep reading how I should try and establish breast only for at least the first few weeks. AND...I've been trying to stress how I want as much time alone in the hospital with LO and staff to try and get established with this subject. He thinks I'm overreacting and can't understand why I don't want a ton of visitors all the time (especially his pushy parents).

Ok...that turned into a bit more of a vent than expected!

My questions are (for those of you that have taken the class):

-Did your DH attend too? Did he learn a lot? Was that awkward?
-Do you feel more in control of your decision to breastfeed? Or do you think you got the same information that you can read in the books?

LIvie Dean · October 2011

I didn't take the class, but I wouldn't worry about it so much if I were you. The nurses at the hospital will help you with breastfeeding and show you how to do it the best way. If you have any questions you can always ask them.

jmd22 · October 2011

I'm sort of in the same boat as you-- I was at BRU the other day looking at breastpumps (as I plan to mostly breastfeed, esp in the beginning, but would like to be able to pump occasionally after a few weeks, month, etc) and I suddenly got really overwhelmed. I realized that I really don't know much at all about how much/often I will be breastfeeding, and then how and when to go about pumping and storage of milk, etc. It's a lot to learn! I wasn't planning on taking a breastfeeding class, but I think I may have changed my mind. I think I could definitely use some assistance and support here!

kerrymass · October 2011

We're taking ours in 2 weeks, so sorry - can't really answer your questions. Part of my reasoning for taking it though - is to try to find some sort of support system for me and and to help educate my DH. He's glad I'm planning on BFing, but won't read (and I don't expect him to) the breastfeeding books, etc - I thought him being exposed to a bit might help him to better support me when the time comes.

Re: the mom w/ the pump - My mom already got me a really nice pump which was super sweet and generous of her, but I work out of my house - not sure how much I'll really need it and I'm w/ you - and don't plan on pumping for the first few weeks unless the doctors advise otherwise. It's a little stressful, but overall nice that our moms want to help w/ the LO so much.

angel1015 · October 2011

I am going to answer the opposite of the PP. Take the class!!!! I didn't and breastfeeding was probably the hardest thing we dealt with for the first 6 weeks after DD was born. We did have the lactation consultant come and talk to us in the hospital, but when we got home and things still weren't working, there were many tears shed about the difficulties. I went to a lactation specialist for one visit and that helped a lot. She talked to me about different techniques, and even had me breast feed in the clinic and they weighed DD inbetween boobs so I could see that she was getting enough to eat even though it didn't feel like it.

From my experience, I can totally see why mom's give up so fast. Our feeding sessions would take up to an hour to get started, and if that wasn't successful we would do the tube-feeding just to make sure she would get enough milk. After about the first week, we ended up going to the bottle after an hour of trying the boob if it was not successful. I tell people it took my 6 weeks to feel comfortable breastfeeding in front of my family (covered of course) otherwise when we visited family, during feeding times, DH and I would go back into a bedroom and have a whole process that we needed to go through for a successful feeding. I am very glad I stuck with it, but it was the hardest thing we had to deal with with our first child.

JessH85 · October 2011

I have not taken the class yet but am registered to start in a couple weeks. I have spent a significant amount of time lurking on the BF board and have learned a ton from that but I still feel the class will be a benefit for me. That being said, I am a person who needs lots of information on everything as I like to feel in control. Stick out tongue I've heard horror stories about people getting very little support from the hosptials so I think it is important to understand the basics before going in.

I have a couple close friends who have been successful BF's and they all recommended I take the class. My DH will be going with me as he will be my biggest support person once home and it may help him to retain some of that knowledge as well.

I am also considering going to a Le Leche League meeting in my area pre-birth. Many women say they are some of the best support you can get and that the leaders (who are lactation consultants) will make themselves available to you if you start having troubles at home. I think it is a personal decision for everyone but for me, I will get a lot from a class and can use books/internet as reference as well. HTH!

angel1015 · October 2011

So, I just read the other posts about pumping. I have a few suggestions from my first experience with breast feeding.

I started pumping right away, per the directions of the nurses in the hospital. I would feed DD, and then DH would burp her and rock her while I pumped myself "dry". I would then bag it and save it. It came in very handy when we had difficulties with her eating, so then instead of having to supplement with formula, I could supplement with breastmilk.

As far as pumping, when I returned to work, I would never go to work without my pump. I noticed that when I didn't pump over lunch, my supply was less on those days than it was on the days I did pump. It depends on how long you are planning on breast feeding, but the more you feed/pump together, the longer your supply should last. DH thought we had enough breast milk in the beginning to "feed a 3rd world country" and had asked if we should donate some. I said no, and ended up only being about to breast feed for about 9 months due to my supply going down, and I wasn't even able to pump enough for one bottle a day towards the end.

fostermurphy · October 2011

I went to a breastfeeding class my first pregnancy with the idea that I was going to give it a try, and if breastfeeding didn't work, it wasn't the end of the world. I asked my husband to come and he refused (everyone else had their husbands in class). Too be honest, since I wasn't that serious about breastfeeding at the time, I didn't retain very much and I didn't go with any questions in mind. I wish my husband would have went with. He is much better at retaining information than I am. I know he regrets not going too! He had no idea how involved BF is. The nurses at the hospital were very helpful after delivery and I ended up seeing a lactation consultant a few times in the weeks following the birth. I ended up exclusively breastfeeding for almost a year when my son weaned himself. It ended up being a wonderful experience for me. I was actually heartbroken when it came to an end. In short, if I got to do it again........Yes, I would still take the class. I would make my husband go. It was nice to have other first time moms in a class asking questions that I wouldn't think of. Expect that you won't learn everything and be ready for some challenges when your LO arrives. Good luck!

06hoky · October 2011

I'm definitly taking it and I know MH is reluctant because he feels like it's not for him but I really want him to go. I think it's important that he understand what I am doing so he can support me. Where I'm taking it actually said that men tend to be the best learners and when I told him that I think he opened up to it a little more. I take mine on the 3rd. It's my 1st class and I'm so excited for it!

JNicMTek · October 2011

Like you, I don't have much IRL support from family on this. My mother had a horrible experience and is projecting that on me. Because of this, I didn't even attempt it with DD1. I have decided to give it a go with DD2. So...

I did go to a BF class. My H went with me. I think he learned more than I did. I did learn a few things, but most of it I had already picked up online from either the boards or my own research. H wasn't awkward about it, but he's that odd guy who has no problem making a tampon run for me, so that may be a part of it.

I do feel more in control of the decision now. I was wavering for a while, especially since I know how easy it is to dump powder in water, shake and feed baby. This will be a challenge, but I have become more determined to do it, so that's good. It was nice to see other families in the same situation I'm in, no support or FF with LO1 and BF for LO2.

Another thing that I did which was much more helpful, was attend a LLL meeting. Although I'm not BF yet, it was nice to get to know some ladies who are, and learn from them, ask questions, and get a face to a person who I can email later for questions and concerns when they arise.

Going to the class was worth it for me, but it was only $35, and I don't feel like I learned everything I need to know, but for me, it was more to get some actual people around me who are successful in this endeavor.

uncharch7 · October 2011

DH did not attend. He offered, but he would've had to take off work, so I told him it was no big deal.

I wouldn't say I felt more in control, I felt a bit more educated on how things get started and what resources are there to help. It was nice to be there with other women who were in the same boat I was... I knew I wanted to do it, but I wanted a bit more human information, not just the books all the time.

rubyjem00 · October 2011

I have no direct experience on this issue (I have yet to sign up for the BF class...I need to do that actually). But everyone I have spoken with, people that I trust, tell me that the class was incredibly helpful to them. Like I said, I don't know what it will entail but surely I will manage to learn something. DH plans to go with me as well - his idea.

lilwildthing · October 2011

I took the class with DS and found it really helpful. DH went with me, and I'd recommend your SO going too. If you get into a frustrated "I don't know what to do" situation he may be able to remember and suggest something different that you didn't think of. It really helped me to learn about different holds. DS would only nurse from one breast in the football hold and the other in the cradle hold. I would have never figured that out on my own.

sept9107bride · October 2011

ok I BF for 14 months so I feel pretty solid on answering this one...at least with my experiences.

1. go to the class AND have DH go. DH will never BF. you will be the workhorse of the fam. that being said, he needs to know what type of committment you are making. I think almost every single person there had their DH there as well.

2. for some, BF is super easy magic and rainbows. for me, it was a b****. I had a nurses aid come to my house for my 1 week checkup and she helped a ton. I literally cried at how happy and helpful she was. so even though I read books and went to the the class...every experience is different. you just never know. the main reason I'd go if I were you would be to get buy in from DH so HE understands it. and most guys were frankly pretty fascinated in our class!

3. you will have time with visitors at the hospital...no worries about the feeding there. here is where it is a PITA - when you are home and have visitors...2 hours have gone by and your mom/MILs are rummaging through your fridge going "where is the bottle!" or "why can't you just feed LO formula." my mom didn't do this but my MIL was soooo disrespectful. once you start pumping...you will want to scream anytime someone just 'offers up a bottle' to your LO. as in "b**** do you know how much work it took to pump that!" here's the other thing - if someone feeds LO a bottle - you will need to leave the group to pump...then (sometimes) people think you are being "anti social or all about BFing blah blah blah." the bottom (and sad) truth is - unless someone has BF, they just aren't going to get it.

bottom line - BFing is scary BUT TOTALLY WORTH IT! the first month was difficult. I recommend getting nip shields so youre not in a ton of pain. however...as time goes on, you and LO get in your groove. you will love cuddling with him/her and it is healthy for the both of you! i recommend it 100%!!!!

EveryNameIWantIsTaken · October 2011

-Did your DH attend too? Did he learn a lot? Was that awkward?

DH did not go because it was a last minute thing and he couldn't arrange work around it. but I'm not sure how much there is for a husband to learn. I don't think having him there would have contributed to my success or failure.

-Do you feel more in control of your decision to breastfeed? Or do you think you got the same information that you can read in the books?

Lots of information you could read on your own, but it did help to go and learn and see in person the different ways you can hold a baby and do it.

FWIW, I think the support you need is going to come after. I tried to bf ds, and failed miserably. I was too proud to call a LC for help, and don't know anyone close who ever bf their child, so I was kind of alone. Look for local support groups, and utilize a lactation consultant after. I really think it is what you do after you leave the hospital, not before you have the baby, that will really determine your success.

Frostycake2011 · October 2011

sept9107bride:
ok I BF for 14 months so I feel pretty solid on answering this one...at least with my experiences.

1. go to the class AND have DH go. DH will never BF. you will be the workhorse of the fam. that being said, he needs to know what type of committment you are making. I think almost every single person there had their DH there as well.

2. for some, BF is super easy magic and rainbows. for me, it was a b****. I had a nurses aid come to my house for my 1 week checkup and she helped a ton. I literally cried at how happy and helpful she was. so even though I read books and went to the the class...every experience is different. you just never know. the main reason I'd go if I were you would be to get buy in from DH so HE understands it. and most guys were frankly pretty fascinated in our class!

3. you will have time with visitors at the hospital...no worries about the feeding there. here is where it is a PITA - when you are home and have visitors...2 hours have gone by and your mom/MILs are rummaging through your fridge going "where is the bottle!" or "why can't you just feed LO formula." my mom didn't do this but my MIL was soooo disrespectful. once you start pumping...you will want to scream anytime someone just 'offers up a bottle' to your LO. as in "b**** do you know how much work it took to pump that!" here's the other thing - if someone feeds LO a bottle - you will need to leave the group to pump...then (sometimes) people think you are being "anti social or all about BFing blah blah blah." the bottom (and sad) truth is - unless someone has BF, they just aren't going to get it.

bottom line - BFing is scary BUT TOTALLY WORTH IT! the first month was difficult. I recommend getting nip shields so youre not in a ton of pain. however...as time goes on, you and LO get in your groove. you will love cuddling with him/her and it is healthy for the both of you! i recommend it 100%!!!!

This was really great advice. Thank you so much for sharing. I do "plan" on BF, as long as it works for baby and I as well as my body. I have been told to give it time, since it can be frustrating. It was great reading your post and getting an idea on how some people just don't understand. How frustrating it can be but that it is all worth it !

GoldenPeaches · October 2011

I'm a FTM but I am not taking the breastfeeding class. I've been reading like a mad woman online about breastfeeding.

See if you have a La Leche League in your area. I went to my first meeting of a LLL off-shoot for moms in my neighborhood today and it was super helpful just to be able to talk about my concerns and for reassurance. The ladies there were all really nice and promised to help me if I have problems. I also feel like being a member of an ongoing group will be more helpful in the long run than taking a class. This way if I have problems down the line, I will have women around who can help me instead of trying to recall information from a class I took 2 or more months ago.

DiademChi · October 2011

Instead of a class, I think you're better off saving for a private meeting with a Lactation Consultant once LO is born. Not to mention, some insurance companies cover up to 3 meetings with an LC! Also check out your local La Leche League. It's free to attend meetings and most mothers are more than happy to show you holds, proper latches, etc.

I found a lot of the videos online to be very helpful, showing real newborns latching and how to properly make sure baby is suckling and swallowing.

hisbeautyalways · October 2011

I attended one today. It was very helpful.

-Did your DH attend too? Did he learn a lot? Was that awkward?

He did attend, and learn some helpful things. It wasn't awkward at all, and he wasn't the only guy.

-Do you feel more in control of your decision to breastfeed? Or do you think you got the same information that you can read in the books?

I pretty much got information that I already knew, but I also got other types of information. I met the LC that I can call after delivery to come to my home, and I signed up for her monthly phone check-up. I found out when there was an open meeting for moms, to talk about anything (of course it's focused on BF, but she said they get off topic to other things too), and I got a list of places I can call for help.

I also got some freebies, like lanolin, nursing pads, and a pro-breastfeeding water bottle to take out (she even gave my DH one).

COmommy · October 2011

Get the pump. If anything, it will help establish your supply even if you don't feed LO bottles for a while. The hospital where I delivered supplied the Medela Symphony for use while in the hospital and it has been great at establishing my supply. I rented one for home as well. Once Emmeline is old enough to BF (they are going to let her try next week!!!) my supply is already there for her. She has been getting feeds of BM through her feeding tube in the meantime.

NNGnome · October 2011

I haven't gone to any classes and I am a FTM, but I have been going to Le Leche League meetings, I find them very helpful, they are a great resource, and I would higherly reommend seeing if you have meetings in your area, as I feel like if I have any issues I know I can ask them for help, and just knmowing that hs eased a lot of my fears.

mlkauffman · October 2011

I'm in total agreement. We passed on the childbirth classes but feel a breastfeeding class is important. DH and I decided that I would check it out alone just so he wasn't uncomfortable, but then we got the registration form the other day and it said fathers encouraged to attend. So he is going to check it out with me.

MYLYNDA · October 2011

We arent going to the classes.... however I am going to be attending the monthly LLL meetings. A childhood friend has successfully bf both her babies and she is only a couple blocks away from me. I will be attending the meetings with her. I have a few bottles on hand and a hand pump so far, but am planning on purchasing an electric pump. I am completely commited to bf this child, and will put the work into it this time around,

When my son was born in 96, I was able to bf for 2 weeks, I was young (18) and very inexperienced. Though it was an amazing feeling to feed my child, I could not get past the pain it caused. My son did not latch properly and preferred to clamp onto my nipples. It was soooo painful, I recall crying each time.

This time I will be prepared and it will hopefully be a more successful experience.

GL ladies!

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