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C-sections
MrzHoz
member
So lost and confused and looking to hear about your experiences
MrzHoz
member
in C-sections
I am 5 weeks away from delivery and really stressing myself out. Please don't flame as these are all very sincere issues and concerns that I am dealing with.
All through out my life, I always envisioned that when I had a child I would have a c-section for cultural reasons/ family reasons. Almost all the women I know have had c-sections.
Now here I am close to birth and really questioning what kind of birth I should have.
My family and friends are all supportive of c-sections but I wonder if that's the wrong decisions for me and if I should have a vaginal delivery.
My doctor is open to either option as long as it's safe / sound decision for me and the baby.
My main concerns are the recovery of c-sections and being on narcotics which can be passed to the baby via breast feeding and the recovery process.
My main concerns for having a vaginal birth are the potential of it not working and ending up with a c-section anyway after a long / painful labor , and also the tearing and recovery ( over stretching) of my lady parts long term if the vaginal birth works,
Sorry to be long winded, but for those of you who may have had a c-section and a vaginal birth, can you share your experiences with me as to which was a better option for you? And even if you had one kind of delivery vs, the other, I would love ot hear about your recovery process.
Thank you all in advance.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: So lost and confused and looking to hear about your experiences
I have had a c-section and a vaginal birth.
I would, without a doubt, choose the vaginal birth. The c-section was so cold and emotionless. The doctor's were chatting about their day and making small talk during the most important moment of my life as if it were nothing. I wasn't the first person to talk to my baby, or hold my baby. The first time I saw him was a picture my husband took of him while they were stitching me up. I didn't bond as quickly with him as I did my second son. I had more baby blues with him. My recovery was awful and I wasn't a normal person for weeks. I couldn't sleep in my own bed for 2 weeks because I couldn't sit up or lay down by myself.
Anyway, those were some of my experiences. I hope you'll look to different people for different experiences and research your choices thoroughly before making your decision. I wish I had done more my first time around to prepare for his birth!
I had a vaginal delivery with my 1st and a c-section with my 2nd. I didn't want a c-section but I had no choice(fetal distress...HB dropped with every push) I made it to 10 and only got to push for 20 minutes before we decided it was time for a c-section. Thank God we did. Due to cord issues, I would have never been able to deliver him vaginally.
Now granted I had A LOT of complications(was in the hospital for a month) that were totally unexpected(my dr said in 15 years, she has never had a patient be hospitalized that long) but even before the complications set in, I was miserable.
With my vaginal delivery, I was up and about the next day. I had so much energy. I got to go home 2 days later. I wasn't in any pain.
With the c-section, I was in so much pain. I barely got to see my son those first 2 days because he wasn't allowed to leave the nursery yet(he was in the special care nursery...born not breathing, had a fever and apgar was only 2) and I was so weak I could barely get out of bed.
DS was born on Tuesday. I remember crying in pain on Thursday to my husband about how I should have been going home today instead of being stuck here in pain.
My complications didn't set in until later Friday/early Sat. I started to spike a high fever. My pain got worse. I could feel myself getting weaker. I wound up getting transferred to CCU and getting 5 units of blood on Sat. I was in CCU for a week, then moved to a step down unit for another week and half.. Went home for a couple days then had to go back in since my hemoglobin was low again. They did what was orginally going to be laproscopic exploratory surgery and found a nasty hemotoma of festering old blood in my abomminal area. I was in the hospital for over another week.
I left the hospital still very weak, barely able to walk, that's how weak I was. My c-section recovery was awful. I would have loved to have another vaginal delivery but we really had no choice. We would have lost him if I continued to try to push him out. So I don't regret having a c-section.
However, if things had worked out the way they were supposed to, I would have had another vaginal delivery. I had such an easy recovery with my 1st. I would never pick a c-section over a vaginal delivery if it wasn't medically necessary.
My first was a vaginal and my second was a C-section. I have to say that while I know that their are more risks with a C-section and a vaginal birth is better for the baby, I preferred my C-section. I don't mean to confuse you after everyone else said they prefer a vaginal birth.
My vaginal birth - I had regular contractions for 3 weeks, started timing them one night at 11pm, went to the hospital the next morning at 10am, got an epidural around 3pm, started pushing around 6pm, and the baby was finally born at 11:25 pm with the help of forceps. I ripped and was soooooo soar. I also had the complication that my stitches never dissolved and had to be removed at my 6 week follow up.
My C-section - I was scheduled to have my twins at 34 weeks. I had a nice dinner the night before. I stopped eating at midnight and we went to the hospital at 10 in the morning. The nurses sent labs, I was on a monitor, went to the OR at 12:30, and had my babies at 1:25 and 1:26. I was turning in bed by myself that night and walking by the next morning. I admit it was a painful, but I did not feel like it was half as bad as my vaginal birth. Also, my post partum bleeding stopped after 4 weeks because of my C-section. I was almost completely off the narcotics before I left the hospital - only took them at night.
To be honest with you, I do not know what I will choose next time around. Assuming there is no reason to deliver via C-section, I will probably delvier vaginally. But overall, I enjoyed my C-section experience more. My vaginal birth was intense and not the norm, but there is no guarantee next time will be the norm.
Can I ask what kind of cultural reasons you have to want a c-section?
I had one because that was my only option, but I would NEVER choose a c/s over a vaginal birth.
Mrz. Hoz,
I have had 2 vaginal births and 2 c-sections. The vaginal births were better in every way for me and I would never choose a c-section unless the baby was at risk. My c-sections were very clinical. I was drugged out of my mind. The morphine made me vomit all day. I don't remember seeing my child for several hours. The recovery was weeks instead of days. I have a scar. It is major abdominal surgery with risks and complications. My vaginal births were joyous. I had family members in the room celebrating with me. I felt great after. They are just completely different experiences.
It is much better to deliver vaginally, if you are able. Take it from someone who has done both.
I feel the same way
Both of these (I bolded the stuff in the 2nd one that applies to me)
I have to ask the same thing as the PP...what cultural reason would dictate having a c-section?
I would never ever ever choose a c-section over a vaginal birth. I've had 2 c-sections and wish I could have a vaginal birth. With out knowing what sort of cultural reasons you have I would say you should let your body do what your body does. If you HAVE to have a c-section...at least you allowed your body the chance to do it's thing.
Pregnancy Week by Week stuff.
My physical recovery was great. I was able to get up and around the next day. By the time I left the hospital, I was in mninimal pain, and I was mostly taking motrin instead of percocet. The biggest issue I had was that I needed help going from a reclined position to a seated upright position. It was also painful to roll from one side to another in the bed.
my emotional recovery was much more difficult. I was separated from my baby for about 2 hours after birth. My husband and my in-laws held her before I did, and my husband was afraid to let me hold her because I was a little drowsy from the medications/procedure. I feel like my baby girl and I missed out on important bonding time. In addition, I didn't start trying to breastfeed for several hours after birth. we continue to have latch issues, but the LC vie worked with thinks it's due to her gestational age (37 weeks). I feel like because of my emotional difficulties dealing with the csection I chose, if I'm a candidate, I will probably try for a VBAC next time.
I'm curious about the same thing - what culture expects you to have a c/s?
Really, I'm not being snarky... I'm just wondering what culture/family prefers major surgery over vaginal birth.
.
4 Fresh IVF cycles + 1 FET where embies didn't survive the thaw = 2 perfect little men!
sFET 11/9/11 - Beta 11/18 BFP!
A friend of mine had a scheduled c-section and her recovery was pretty quick, too. Not all c-sections have horrible recoveries- it all depends on the person. I have a very low threshold for pain and all I needed after the first day was ibuprofen. Good luck with your decision!!
I totally understand those concerns. Sorry, I have only had a c-section, but I'll share with you anyway.
I had a wonderful c-section, the circumstances were not the greatest (something was wrong with baby, we did not know what) but the process was completely problem-free. DD was never separated from me, I got to BF right away. My milk came in on day 3. I was on pain meds and that did go through my milk, but DD did not have any problems because of it.
I will say though, I was never in labor. Cutting into a uterus that has not been contracting in labor is a little different. I have not heard a lot of other c-section moms describe their pain as I would describe mine, but most c-section moms labored beforehand. The pain was tremendous - most concentrated in my stomach, then radiating throughout my entire body. My c-section was 2 years ago and I still remember the pain clear as day. My husband was a huge help, I would not have been able to make it without him. Make sure you have a team of helpers on hand after delivery and you will be fine.
From what I've read on here, there is no such thing as a perfect birth. Whether it be c-section or vaginal, there's no way of telling how it's all going to happen.
My recovery was long. I don't remember when the intense pain stopped, but I do remember my husband washing my legs & feet the first few weeks PP lol. And it was 5 months before I was completely back to normal. Having said all that, I will probably have another c-section with baby #2 in April.
There is no easy way to get a baby into the world. Plain and simple. I think the only easy part of either of my pregnancies and my first vaginal delivery was the conception. I haven't had my c-section yet, but it is going to be medically necessary. I have accepted it, and that is that. Do whatever you think will be best for yourself. Just be well informed!
So, I'll chime in with my experience just because it is so opposite of what everyone else is saying.
I had a c-section with DD due to her position. She was coming out nose first and sunny side up so after an hour of pushing, she wouldn't stay engaged, so I needed a c-section to get her out. My doc was great and talked to me through the entire process. No, I was not the very first to see her, I didn't get to see her until she was all wrapped up, but I didn't care one bit. While they were stitching me up, DH went with DD for all of the first time stuff and to introduce her to the family. I had to go to recover for an hour because my blood pressure was kind of high, but I really didn't care since I knew she was just fine. I delivered her in the evening so I had no intentions of needing to get up and walk until the next day, but I was totally content with having all of the nurses and DH wait on me and bring me everything I needed. I don't remember how low after the c-section I tried breastfeeding, but I don't remember having an issue with it. I only took the pain meds for a week while DH was home since he could drive, but as soon as he went back to work I only took the pain meds at night in case I needed to go anywhere. That was probably the only mistake I made. I didn't listen to my doctor as to how I should take care of myself to make sure I could function for my baby. I remember being in pain one night and regretting not taking my pain meds like I should be. And I whole heartedly agree with the PP that stated that the pain meds are not transmitted to your baby through your breast milk. Do you really think your doctor would give you something that could potentially harm your newborn?!?!? Listen to your doctor. They went to school for a lot of years to figure out what is best for us.
I am having a repeat c-section with DC2 and it is purely by choice. If it wasn't for my due date (2 days before Christmas) I would probably try for a VBAC, but that is mainly because I want to experience something that I didn't before to see how my body would handle it.
Please take time to educate yourself on the best situation for you. Everyone is different and only you and your doctor can make the right decision for your situation.
Thanks... but I actually have a friend whose daugther suffered from the meds she was taking while breastfeeding. She was on codeine for her c-section as prescribed by her OBGYN, and her child was rushed to the hospital because they couldn't revive her one night after they got released from the hospital. They ended going to a regular hospital and then rushed to a children's hospital via an ambulance, and her daughter finally came to when they were being transported. Her child has had some developmental issues, and she lives her life wondering if those medicaitions may have been a part/ the cause of that.This sort of thing happens. so don't be so shocked.
ETA: I also asked about this same concern during our child birth classes at the hospital and was told not to worry because the medications just make the baby more sleepy.. well, in my friend's case, they did a lit bit more than just make the baby sleepy. I am just trying to cover my bases and make the best decision for my baby as I know all of you are..
And by the way, thanks for the caps and all the extra punctuation marks. Nice touch.
And for all the other ladies that shared their experiences, I really appreciate your input. I realize it's different for each case and each person, but it really helps to hear about other people's experiences. There are parts of the world that go by different belief systems then what happens in the US, and even though, I was raised here, my family and their input still mean a lot to me, so I do take their input into consideration when making decisions. Hopefully whatever I end up deciding over the next few weeks will work out ok,
Thanks again.
I didn't include that information because I foreshadowed that it would only open things up to more negative "feedback" like a few posts up, but since a few people asked. It's the Persian culture. If this was a Persian forum, you would see 90% pro c-section and maybe 10% against, which is the opposite of this forum.
I don't think either is right or wrong, and ultimately it comes down to the individual, and I was curious to hear about the experiences of the women in this board, which I am thanking everyone who posted their experiences.
Ultimately, we all have some aspect of this that's really important to us like that initial bonding that some of you mentioned that you missed bc of having a c-section and for many Persian women, it's the risks of long and painful labors that could cause distress or worse on the babies. Again, I don't think anybody is right or wrong, I just wanted to hear your experiences.
My first son was an unplanned c-section after I pushed for 4+ hours. The c-section itself was uneventful, and I had a straightforward recovery, but it was still really hard to get in and out of bed, up and down, etc. afterwards. Also, experiencing the c-section itself was pretty stressful for me (though I hate all things medical, and it was at 6 am, after 12+ hours of being in labor, so I was already pretty tired and stressed).
After it, I had a fever and my son wasn't regulating his temperature, so he ended up in the NICU on antibiotics and had a spinal tap and was ultimately in the hospital for a week after birth (they never found any sort of infection in the end). His hospitalization really messed my DH and I up, frankly.
My second son was a VBAC, and I had a second degree tear, but the recovery was quicker overall. I still couldn't move very fast the first few days after he was born, but I could get out of bed, etc. a lot easier. My pelvis and hips were really, really sore for a few weeks afterwards, though, but I don't think that's the norm with vaginal birth (he was 10.5+ pounds, which I think had a lot to do with it...).
Birth is hard, whether it's a c-section or vaginal birth. You have to recover either way, but recoveries from vaginal births are generally going to be faster and easier, and if you're planning on having more than three or so kids, vaginal birth is safer (and it's a lot easier not being a VBAC candidate the second time around!).
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
A vaginal delivery is 9 times out of 10 the healthiest way for a baby to be born. We as women were engineered to bring a baby into the world that way. There is more stress on a baby delivered via c/section then vaginally.
C-sections aren't free of pain. Yes you don't have labor or pushing pain, but you are having your abdominal wall cut open and a baby forcefully pulled from your uterus. I was never in so much pain before. A c-section is major surgery and the recovery is no joke. A C-section is not a magical pain free way to bring a baby into this world.
my experience was pretty much exactly like this. i loved everything about my c-section and would do it again over and over if i were having more babies. i loved my doctors, i loved knowing i was in good hands, i got to hold my son immediately and my husband and i hung out with him the whole time in the OR while they stitched me up and i was up and walking the next morning. everyone who came to see us was amazed. that said, my SIL had 2 vaginal births and a c-section with her last and said she wouldn't wish a c-section on her worst enemy.....i think no matter how well you prepare, the experience is going to be different for every woman. i hope that if you do choose to have a c-section, that the experience is pleasant for you
That is the stupidest sh*t I've ever heard. I'm Persian too. That is not "Persian culture" by any means. Persian women are respected for being able to birth babies. Also, if you haven't noticed, we Persian women generally have those "child-bearing hips." You're misrepresenting our culture to try to justify your Csection. Holy Wow. You're as bad as the Kardashians. Please shut up.
Please don't misrespresent the Persian culture by such low class behavior. There was nothing rude or offensive about anything that I said in my posts, and I respected everyone who posted here, so there is no need for you to come on here and start cursing me out. I don't know what the Kardashians have to with this post because they are Armenian and not Persian, but if you want to talk about anyone being as bad them, take a look in the mirror.
I am by no means being "low class" by calling you out. You know your culture excuse was a lie. I just think you are being silly by using Persian culture as an excuse for wanting a Csection. If you want a Csection and not a vaginal birth, fine- I don't agree with it when they aren't necessary, but it's you life. However, it's ridiculous to say that Persian women prefer Csections because it's not true. YOU prefer Csections. And I mentioned the Kardashians because they are also ridiculous and I feel that they misrepresent Middle Eastern culture as well. Talk about low class.
You are low class for cursing and attacking people. You are really not worth my time and clearly don't know what you are talking about.Feel free to do a search of Persian women and c-sections to get statistics. I never said I want to have a c-section because I am Persian; I was referring to the input that I have been getting so far. I haven't even made a decision yet, so calm yourself down, and go find your next target to attack if it makes you feel better as I am done here.
Thank again to all the other ladies who shared their experiences.
Interesting....
https://afp.google.com/article/ALeqM5gIxjpyLkNxnR2Xby7Xj8ahum5bjg
I agree with lilylow.
OP, I had a relatively "easy" emergency c-section due to fetal distress. I stayed in the hospital for five days and had a ton of help around the house when I came home. Regardless, I would not wish a c-section upon anyone. It's a major surgery, and not one to take lightly. I was in more pain while recovering from surgery than I was during the 13 hours I was in labour.
There are potential risks to both vaginal and c-sections but statistically, vaginal births are the healthiest and safest option for both Mom and baby, and the recovery is quicker. C-sections pose greater risk of cardiac arrest, infection, blood clots, and hemorrhaging.
As for the breastfeeding, I'm sorry that something so scary happened with someone close to you, but that is rare. No one ever could have predicted that. A doctor will not willingly give you drugs in recovery that could harm your child through breast milk. I took everything they gave me, and breast fed right away. I'm still breastfeeding, and DD will be one tomorrow. We have had no problems.
Sorry this turned into a novel.