Mother-in-Law Bought a crib

scote09 · October 2011

.....for her place. I don't know if it's my hormones, but #1 I feel like that's bad luck. #2, if she thinks we will be going to visit there 1.5 hours away often enough to need a crib and not a pack and play (she's got another thing coming). I know she's excited, but WTF. That's my rant of the day.

kitcat6351 · October 2011

Uggggh, I'd be annoyed too!

joshandpanda · October 2011

wow! my soon to be MIL is excited too, but not that excited! GL to you!

gigismomma · October 2011

1.) In my culture that is a big no no. Purchasing shoes for the baby before it is born is another taboo.

2.) I agree a PnP will serve it's purpose for visits.

3.) I would be upset myself but then again you live 1.5 hours away not 1.5 miles so try to look at it that way.

lindy27 · October 2011

Haha I guess at least she is excited?

I would think a pack and play would be more than enough, especially with only a 1.5 hour drive. From what I hear most babies sleep the best in their own crib at home, well worth the drive home most the time I would think.

We live an hour from both our parents and don't plan on spending the night except for major holidays.

MrsFeatherbottom · October 2011

Yeah, that's weird. Hopefully it stops there.

Jazzyashes84 · October 2011

i would be sooooooo annoyed!!! she doesn't need a CRIB. this is something that my MIL would do. try to ignore it and know that baby will be sleeping at YOUR house

ECUGirl2004 · October 2011

My MIL has a crib and it was very helpful, but they live 6 hours away. However, my parents live really close to me and I wouldn't mind at all if they bought a crib. I always kind of wished they had one when my DS was a baby. I agree it's really early, but I don't see any harm in there being a safe place for your baby to sleep at your IL's house. It's nice not to have to bring everything with you when you visit!

LadyTyler · October 2011

I have to admit that I'm one of the few that wouldn't have been fazed by it (although I in no way think that you should feel differently than you do.) I just don't believe in bad luck, and while we plan to use a PnP, cribs will last the baby through 3 years most likely, and I can't imagine my child not spending any nights at grandma's until then. I would like my kid to get used to sleeping at both sets of grandparent's houses as soon as possible because I think having special time alone with them is important. Anyways that is just how I feel.

The one thing I could also think of is that my MIL had no idea that they made anything other than cribs for babies to sleep in, they never had one and she isn't looking up info on latest baby stuff; she was really surprised when I told her about them! Perhaps that could be part of it?

TerraCotta210 · October 2011

I'd be annoyed as well. As a matter of fact, I was annoyed with DS's great-grandmother when I was pregnant 5 years ago because as soon as she found out I was expecting she went on and on about how she was "always going to have him" and "may as well make him a nursery" and how as a new mommy I should feel "lucky to have someone take the baby off my hands" sometimes!! WHAT?!?! To this day, DS still has never spent the night at her house and he is 4. Maybe I'm being stubborn, but I simply refuse. I suppose it doesn't help her case that she thinks because she is gramma, that's it's okay to feed her grandchildren Ho-Ho's for breakfast, ughhh!!!

mrs+harlow · October 2011

Let her be excited and buy what she wants for her own house. I think it's great that she wants to be involved, is excited and can afford to purchase things like that. Some don't get that with their in-laws. Turn the tables and if it had been your mother doing this would you be as upset? Who knows once baby gets here you and your husband might just want the LO to have a night at Grandma's for a date night.

BelleIsa · October 2011

Am I the only that wouldn't be bothered one bit by this?

blueshamrock7 · October 2011

mrs+harlow:
Let her be excited and buy what she wants for her own house. I think it's great that she wants to be involved, is excited and can afford to purchase things like that. Some don't get that with their in-laws. Turn the tables and if it had been your mother doing this would you be as upset? Who knows once baby gets here you and your husband might just want the LO to have a night at Grandma's for a date night.

I have to agree with this. Some people don't have mothers or MILs to do these kind of things. Try to look at it as a nice gesture?

I will say this - I would be frustrated if someone bought a crib and didn't ask me first for my opinion on the crib. There are some cribs I just would not feel comfortable with my child sleeping in or even napping in without my being able to research it first. Once I was able to do that, then I would OK purchasing the crib.

blueshamrock7 · October 2011

mrs+harlow:
Let her be excited and buy what she wants for her own house. I think it's great that she wants to be involved, is excited and can afford to purchase things like that. Some don't get that with their in-laws. Turn the tables and if it had been your mother doing this would you be as upset? Who knows once baby gets here you and your husband might just want the LO to have a night at Grandma's for a date night.

I have to agree with this. Some people don't have mothers or MILs to do these kind of things. Try to look at it as a nice gesture?

I will say this - I would be frustrated if someone bought a crib and didn't ask me first for my opinion on the crib. There are some cribs I just would not feel comfortable with my child sleeping in or even napping in without my being able to research it first. Once I was able to do that, then I would OK purchasing the crib.

RhodyMomToBe · October 2011

BelleIsa:
Am I the only that wouldn't be bothered one bit by this?

I wouldn't be either.

MeghanF13 · October 2011

well, speaking from experience, it would be nice not to have to lug the pnp over to my parents house whenever we went for the day (even if you don't go overnight, you will still need to put baby down for a nap, and what if they babysit for a day while you go out?). I don't think it's that bad. I would just want to make sure if was brand new, was safe etc. I would be surprised they would buy it so early, but I wish my parents had bought one because it would've been so much easier (then I could spend the day with my parents and not have to drive home for nap time) - and they only live 5 minutes from me!

ETA: DD wouldn't sleep in the pnp after age 18 months, but slept in a crib at home until just after age 2. So a crib will last longer. And PnPs are a pain to have to always take with you - and they take up a lot of room in the car if you have to pack a bunch of things.

rsrs807 · October 2011

Count me on team "I wouldn't care." I get that you may be worried about the bad luck part but the part about her being an hour and a half away and the pack and play being sufficient....my parents are an hour and a half away and my mother is going to buy a crib, I would LOVE if my MIL did as well (she's about 3 hours away) just so we dont have to deal with lugging a PnP up there each time we go. My mom had a crib for my nieces and it was really nice for my SIL and the girls bc they were sleeping on a mattress similar to the one they were used to at home, etc. It was just one less thing to worry about. (she got rid of the crib when they moved but will buy a new one.)

It's her house, let her buy what she wants to. I thought you were going to say that a crib had showed up at your front door or something.

Sherbet Lemon · October 2011

I get why you're annoyed (my MIL almost bought a used one but my SIL talked her out of it). I think I would have been surprised/annoyed at first even if it were a new one, but don't think of it as a lasting annoyance.

Is this the first grandchild? Does your DH have other siblings who might be adding to the grandkid count in the future? Maybe she's really just thinking ahead and it's not just about this particular baby. As long as it fits safety regulations, I'd let this one go. She's excited, and, as annoying as over involved MIL's can be, at least they care. Better than some of the horror stories I've read about MIL's being negative about a baby on the way.

jp0129 · October 2011

Thats a little weird. My MIL plans on buying a monitor.. thats it. However the family business is run out their house so DH will have LO there almost everyday.

altachica · October 2011

I'd be really annoyed. My MIL will never be unsupervised with our baby (there are many, many reasons for this) so that would irk me. My mom found a brand new pack n' play at goodwill a few weeks ago, but she lives 4.5 hours away and we plan to spend a lot of time with grandma and grandpa "Up North" and appreciate having one less thing to pack.

scote09 · October 2011

I understand it's a nice gesture and that it will make it easier, but I would have liked to have been consulted. If you knew my husband's family you'd know that the gesture is assuming that we will be there and dropping the LO there ALL the time. . Both my husband and I are only children so this is the first grandchild. We come from divorced parents, so there are 4 sets of grandparents who are all going to be wanting time with this child. It's hard making all sets happy. It was hard before I even got pregnant. We always get the guilt card. So I just feel it's going to triple, and this was certainly making a statement. Holidays should be a joy too. I'm just swallowing my tongue and going to let her buy whatever she wants. But they are going to all have to make an effort to come our way too. I can't be traveling every single weekend. Sometimes I feel with all the talk that goes on between all the grandparents that this isn't even my baby, it's theirs. Just overly emotional today. thanks for all the support.

TBsquared · October 2011

BelleIsa:

Am I the only that wouldn't be bothered one bit by this?

I think its great, and wouldnt be bothered a bit!

Sherbet Lemon · October 2011

scote09:
I understand it's a nice gesture and that it will make it easier, but I would have liked to have been consulted. If you knew my husband's family you'd know that the gesture is assuming that we will be there and dropping the LO there ALL the time. . Both my husband and I are only children so this is the first grandchild. We come from divorced parents, so there are 4 sets of grandparents who are all going to be wanting time with this child. It's hard making all sets happy. It was hard before I even got pregnant. We always get the guilt card. So I just feel it's going to triple, and this was certainly making a statement. Holidays should be a joy too. I'm just swallowing my tongue and going to let her buy whatever she wants. But they are going to all have to make an effort to come our way too. I can't be traveling every single weekend. Sometimes I feel with all the talk that goes on between all the grandparents that this isn't even my baby, it's theirs. Just overly emotional today. thanks for all the support.

And now I totally get why you're annoyed. 2 sets of future grandparents are hard enough to handle, I can't imagine doubling that. My MIL and mom will most definitely be fighting over time with the baby (and fighting through me, not directly with eachother). DH and I are working on a plan of attack - he "handles" his mom and I'll "handle" mine. They do mean well, but I can already tell they'll be completely ridiculous. You definitely have my sympathy.

hairdresserchick · October 2011

TBsquared:
BelleIsa:

Am I the only that wouldn't be bothered one bit by this?

I think its great, and wouldnt be bothered a bit!

Wouldn't bother me either..my mom already got a crib that my cousin was done with to keep at her house. We watch my cousin's 20-month-old here and it's a pain in the butt not having a crib to put her in for naptime.

rubber_chicken · October 2011

altachica:
I'd be really annoyed. My MIL will never be unsupervised with our baby (there are many, many reasons for this) so that would irk me. My mom found a brand new pack n' play at goodwill a few weeks ago, but she lives 4.5 hours away and we plan to spend a lot of time with grandma and grandpa "Up North" and appreciate having one less thing to pack.

This exactly. My MIL and I are not on speaking terms - theoretically she could buy whatever she feels like, but she won't be using it.

Now if it was MY mother, who lives 4 hours away, it wouldn't phase me. I guess this is more a Rorschach test for your relationship with your in laws than anything else

CharityNichole · October 2011

My MIL has mentioned buying one for her house as well. I just didn't comment on it. They only live 30 minutes away. & We will not be visiting them because they smoke in their house. Visits will either be in our home, or meeting for dinner, etc. How should I approach the subject without hurting her feelings/ pissing her off?

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