3rd Trimester

Why is everyone in such a hurry?

I don't mean this question to be abrasive or rude but, why does it seem that everyone wants their baby to come early? Is it a FTM thing? I am on my third and I want him to stay in as long as he needs. My youngest is 7 and 7 years ago you  never heard of membrane stripping or inducing early. Am I just out of the loop?

 

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Re: Why is everyone in such a hurry?

  • **eyeroll**
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  • I'm a 3rd time momma too, I'd be happy if this one came any day now!!!  But mine are younger than yours.....I don't think my drs do membrane stripping either.  I was 1 week late with DS1, and inducec b/c of that, but never had my membranes stripped. 
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  • I'm sure the moms that say they want their babies to come early (as in 37 - 39 weeks) want their babies to be in there as long as needed too.  They just hope that they are one of the lucky ones who's babies only needed 38 weeks vs 42 weeks.

    With that said, membrane sweeping is only going to encourage labor IF your body (and baby) are ready for it.  I had my membranes swept 3 times with DD1 and it didn't work any of the 3 times!  

    As far as inducing early unless medically necessary - I don't understand. 

    Now that this is my 2nd pregnancy I am kind of hoping she hangs out past my EDD, simply for the fact that I know it's going to be hectic having 2 under 2. 

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  • I don't think it's a FTM thing. I've had mine stripped twice this pregnancy in an attempt to avoid a medically necessary induction at 39 weeks.
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  • I'd love LO to come this week (at 38 weeks) because if they aren't here by the 1st I have to have a c/s. This way I can try for a VBAC.
  • Nobody said we want our babies to come before they're ready. I didn't say I was going to ask them to perform a csection this week.  I've had a perfectly healthy pregnancy with no signs of preterm labor thank God.  The baby is more than likely quite large and it's very important to me to avoid drugs during her birth.  I of course want her to be 100 percent ready to come...and I know that labor is not going to begin before it's time.  Things like walking, raspberry tea, membrane stripping are all perfectly safe ways of ENCOURAGING a ready body to go into labor. 

    I personally am not a fan of any insinuation that I want this baby to come early more than I want her to come healthy.  It was an innocent question...one which will obviously be ran by a dr. since she would be the one performing the procedure anyway.

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  • My question was not meant to be an accusation or insuation that you wanted an unhealthy baby or were trying to control an uncontrolled situation, I am fully aware how different everyone's situation is. I was just curious because all the  interventions and options were not  available when I had my children 17 and 7 years ago. I was just curious and I don't think that trying to have a dialog with other women calls for a *eyeroll*. Sorry to offend. I was hoping someone could clue me in.

     

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  • I've seen more 2+ time moms saying they want LO to come early than FTM's. I see way more FTM's saying "Ahh I'll never be ready I don't want LO to come ever."

    Personally, I want LO to come whenever she is ready to. Do I hope that happens to be sooner rather than later? Absolutely I hate being pregnant. I have back problems and can't stand for longer than 10 mins. I can't do anything and hate being a wastiod on the couch. Of course LO's health is more important but if she decides she is ready before my due date (which is technically about a week later than it should be.) I will be more than happy to have her on the outside. 

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  • imagecmorganopie:

    My question was not meant to be an accusation or insuation that you wanted an unhealthy baby or were trying to control an uncontrolled situation, I am fully aware how different everyone's situation is. I was just curious because all the  interventions and options were not  available when I had my children 17 and 7 years ago. I was just curious and I don't think that trying to have a dialog with other women calls for a *eyeroll*. Sorry to offend. I was hoping someone could clue me in.

     

     

    It's amazing the advances in medicine in those 17 years Wink

  • I have been different with each pregnancy...with my first I was pretty patient and was delighted when he came on his due date...with my second, I wanted that child out of me so bad it was crazy (I gained way too much weight and I was miserable).  He came two days early but I wanted him to come two weeks early.  With this one I have been having major nausea and heartburn so my weight gain has stayed low but I'm miserable.  However, I now have two boys who run around the house being crazy and hitting each other most of the day so I am in no hurry for #3 to arrive...he can cook in there as long as he wants.

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  • I had my son over 10 years ago and I had my membranes stripped at 37 weeks and was scheduled for induction at 39 weeks but went into labor on my own before the induction.  I don't think it's anything new.
  • I agree with OP.  DD came just about a month early.  Not fun.  This baby is a completely different story and while I really want him out already - I am so grateful that he has stayed in as long as he has. 
  • I don't mean to be snarky or rude, either, but I have to agree with the first poster; this question constitutes an "eyeroll" response from me as well. Why is everyone in such a hurry? Back pain. Being achey all the time. Insomnia. Are those reasons good enough for you? Lol.

    I, for one, don't feel that I'm in a "hurry" by keeping my fingers crossed that my son will make his appearance any day now at 39 weeks. Having said that, I don't intend to have my membranes stripped or anything like that, either, because I believe he'll come when he's good and ready. I'm just tired of feeling miserable and I'm anxious to meet my baby. That's why I'm in a "hurry", personally.

  • I'm a FTM being induced this week at 39 weeks *if and only if* her lungs are ready. My hospital won't induce unless they check the lungs with a lung maturity amnio.  I also have medical reasons for induction because my fetal medicine specialist does think the baby is quite large and the head and shoulders are measuring in the 90th percentile.  

    Personally, I am so ready for her to come because I am so uncomfortable.  My pelvis hurts to badly that I can barely cross my legs at the ankle, much less at the knee.  I've got a lot of low pressure, BH contractions and cramping...plus I've started to lose my mucous plug.  I'm just ready and I think my body is getting there too!  

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  • I understnad your question completely. I have had several friend get inductions right at 39 weeks and had many complications because the baby wasn't ready. So I'm fully content (as a FTM) to have my LO stay in as long as she needs. But I think people also get uncomfortable and want it to happen A.S.A.P. for that reason as well.
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  • imagecmorganopie:

    I don't mean this question to be abrasive or rude but, why does it seem that everyone wants their baby to come early? Is it a FTM thing? I am on my third and I want him to stay in as long as he needs. My youngest is 7 and 7 years ago you  never heard of membrane stripping or inducing early. Am I just out of the loop?

     

    I'm on my third and I am just done.  I want to be able to walk without pain, be able to chase my kids around and not have shooting pains in my crotch, but thats just me. 

    DISCLAIMER - Not saying I want him to come NOW, but anytime after 37 weeks is juuuust fine.

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  • This is my second and I am not in a hurry. It would be nice just to get rid of this heartburn and to meet her. I am enjoying though what little time I have with my little boy.
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  • imagethescoutfinch:

    I don't mean to be snarky or rude, either, but I have to agree with the first poster; this question constitutes an "eyeroll" response from me as well. Why is everyone in such a hurry? Back pain. Being achey all the time. Insomnia. Are those reasons good enough for you? Lol.

    I, for one, don't feel that I'm in a "hurry" by keeping my fingers crossed that my son will make his appearance any day now at 39 weeks. Having said that, I don't intend to have my membranes stripped or anything like that, either, because I believe he'll come when he's good and ready. I'm just tired of feeling miserable and I'm anxious to meet my baby. That's why I'm in a "hurry", personally.

     

    THIS.

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  • Sorry to jump over from 2nd tri... but I am on #2 and I have to say I think everyone's body responds differently to pregnancy.  OP, you may feel fine being pregnant but some people (me included) are in a constant state of discomfort at the end.  I would think those women were crazy if they weren't hoping the baby was READY early.  DS didn't come until 40 weeks 2 days but I did every natural method in the book starting at 38 weeks because I was so tired of the nausea, backaches, nosebleeds, heartburn, short of breath and painful waddling. The end can really suck!
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  • I'm a FTM, and I'll be happy if my LO comes any time after 37 weeks. It's all good. He'll be here when he's ready.
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  • imageearlysun:
    I'm a FTM, and I'll be happy if my LO comes any time after 37 weeks. It's all good. He'll be here when he's ready.

    Yes 

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  • I can see both sides of it. I, too am a 3rd time mom and know the *reality* ;) that lies ahead with a newborn, however this pregnancy has been horrible compared to my others and I know it's only going to get worse over the next 8-10 weeks until I deliver.

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  • Well, I had my membranes stripped with DD1 at 41w and at 41w4d because I didn't want to be induced...which I was...and it didn't work.

    I had it done at 40w with DD2 because I was trying to VBAC and they would c-section at 41w and I had to go into labor on my own. It worked, I guess, because I went into labor that night.

    But I know what you mean. With #1, I was so scared that I was happy she came so late. With #2, I was freaked out about not having more time with DD1 so I was happy she didn't come early.

    "Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies. God damn it, you've got to be kind." - Kurt Vonnegut
  • I don't really get it either.  It seems like 39 weeks is the new 40, and 41 is the new 42.  I really don't consider myself "overdue," and neither do the midwives I see.  It's just as normal (and closer to the average for a first time mom) for me to still be pregnant at 41 weeks as it would be for me to have a two week old.

    We're all uncomfortable, me included. But personally, I don't see the value of requesting or agreeing to medical intervention simply because it's available.

    Personally, I would not stay with a practice who "didn't want me" to or (somehow) "wouldn't let me" go past 41w1d without a legit medical reason.  I would rather stay pregnant another week than be induced.

  • I can't speak for others, for me I want her to cook for as long as possible, however I'm a wimp so this pain and being extremely uncomfortable thing makes me want her to come sooner. In the end I will get through this and be happy as long as she is healthy,. I'm still gonna whine tho!
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  • is not hurry, for me is becouse I don't want her to get bigger, I make big babys two boys, 9.2lb and 9.6lb and both vaginal delivery, thats my only reason I don't want to go over 40 weeks, she is just gonna get bigger and bigger, right now I feel like my belly can't stretch any more! I'm ready, my DH is ready and my two boys are ready!
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  • personally, because I'm carrying twins they will induce me next weekend if they don't show on their own since they won't let me go past 38wks...so I really want LOs to show up this week to avoid being induced. for twins 37wks is full term and Im thankful I made it this far so at this point, I'm ready to meet my little men! I will most def miss having them in my belly though but Im more and more anxious to hold them in my arms lately.
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  • OP- Sometimes it's not what you ask but HOW you ask. I think that's what caused the eyeroll.

    For me, I've been told I'm a likely candidate for induction- that my Dr. doesn't want to leave LO in there past my EDD due to a couple of medical reasons. I would so much rather he comes naturally, and if that means a couple of days before my full 40 weeks, so be it. If he comes on his own- then that will mean HE is ready, so it's not about me.

    Selfishly, I'd love him to come the Friday before Thanksgiving, because DH just started a new job and only has about 3 days of PTO thus far, so a Friday birth would mean DH doesn't have to take time off to be with me in the hospital, and we'd get the holidays to extend his time at home. Will I purposely induce to accomplish this?? God no. But if I got a vote, that's what I'd vote for.

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  • I think most women are just freaking done being pregnant and excited for little one to arrive at this stage.  I highly doubt anyone wants their baby to come before it's ready.  Sigh.
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  • imagehasenfusjessy:
    is not hurry, for me is becouse I don't want her to get bigger, I make big babys two boys, 9.2lb and 9.6lb and both vaginal delivery, thats my only reason I don't want to go over 40 weeks, she is just gonna get bigger and bigger, right now I feel like my belly can't stretch any more! I'm ready, my DH is ready and my two boys are ready!

    Something that my doctor told me was that at 39 weeks babies actually don't get any bigger, and some of them start to lose a little weight.  I was completely shocked by this!  This came up because I was talking about wanting to avoid induction due to the higher risk of csection, but was also concerned that if I did go closer to the 41-42 week mark would it be possible that the baby would be so big by that point that a csection would happen anyway.  I had never heard this before, and I am not trying to sway either way....I do not have strong opinions on the induction debate....but just wanted to put in here what my doc said about the whole size thing.

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  • I am a FTM and I didn't want induction by a DR which I am having today because of the DR's insurance reasons. I tried to induce naturally at home to avoid a medical induction because half of them end in c-sections. I am definitely not in a hurry but my DR sure seems to be.
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  • I am a FTM and am 40+1 today. With that being said, I want him out!! 
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  • Because being pregnant is not that much fun. Sure, there are some women who say they love it. BS. YES, it's great to be able to bring new life into the world and it's an experience I would never want to take back.

    But do I like these things. NO: peeing when I sneeze, falling alseep in meetings and drooling, vomiting 2-3 times per day, nasal congestion, peeing 4-5 times per night, not being able to sleep, gaining weight, swollen feet, swollen hands, pregnancy skin, heartburn, not being able to enjoy a glass of wine, not being able to fully chase around my toddler without needing a 2 hour nap, being bitchy to my husband....need I go on?

    Pregnancy is hard on a woman, physically, mentally and emotionally. I think most of us just want this part to be over, especially towards the end, and to hold our babies!

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  • Luckily i have no control over when she gets here...the doc will decide what is best, but i am really struggling with the idea of how much life is going to change for me when she arrives, i am a single mom and this is my third baby(please don't judge you have no idea what the circumstances are) and know that it is going to be a HUGE financial and emotional and physical struggle although well worth every second..I am worried my little man who is 5 is going to not adjust well at all and my 8 year old is really going to feel as though she is "replaced" bc it is a girl..

    On the flip side, i am extremely uncomfortable and in pain 24-7 and so tired and hormonal that it will be nice to feel as though i have control of myself and my emotional reactions to things, be able to get off the couch to help my kiddos and sit on the floor to play a game with them or color without the excruciating pain it causes me now...

    So in all i have a lot of preparing still to do getting stuff washed and organized and preparing myself mentally and emotionally for the journey ahead...if she comes early GREAT, just not unhealthy and no complications, but if she doesn't, It is only 7 weeks of torture left..LOL 

    Also i just wanted to mention that i have heard about MANY situations where they let a baby go to 41 weeks and the baby ended up too big and csection was required along with miconeum problems and other issues related to being OVERDUE as well, so it think it really is a double edged sword and thank goodness docs have the overall say:)

     

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  • Simply put - I hate being pregnant. The most pregnant I've ever been is 36w4d. I hope this one comes around 37-38 weeks, and if not, he'll be taken at 39 weeks. And if I knew he'd be 100% ok around 35-36 weeks, that would work for me, too.

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  • Who doesn't want their baby in their arms as soon as possible? I'm sure any woman would gladly have pregnancy cut down to 20 weeks instead of 40.

    Of course I hope to give birth at week 37 instead of 42. Doesn't mean I'll go drinking a bottle of castor oil, and sweeping my membranes every night now.

    Also, 7 years ago, they DID have all of this going on. My friend gave birth to her first 8 years ago and yes they had voluntary c-sections and inductions and intervention and sweeps and whatever else you can think of.

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  • imagelaurakaz13:
    I think most women are just freaking done being pregnant and excited for little one to arrive at this stage.  I highly doubt anyone wants their baby to come before it's ready.  Sigh.

    Yeah! 

    I'm just excited and can't wait to meet my little Teency!  When she's ready.  Which will hopefully be after Halloween and before Thanksgiving.

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  • I am a FTM. I don't want for my baby to come before 37 weeks, but as soon as I hit 37 weeks I am ready for him to come out. I have had to stay on nausea medication the entire time, I am on antiobiotics the entire time due to UTI's, I have group B strep and I have placenta previa also. My anxiety is also super high right now, but I don't want to take my medication. So yes I want a healthy baby, but I would love for him to come right at 37 weeks.
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