Would you leave your 4 month old for a weekend?

dairygirl19 · October 2011

H and I are headed to an outstate wedding in Nov. LO is staying home. My MIL will have her 2 days. My mom the other 2. My MIL is our neighbor and my Mom will be coming to our house, so no disruption in LOs routine. My Mom and MIL get along fabulously and are making plans for the weekend. They're both fairly young and capable and looking forward to this.

LO is not invited to the wedding. I also hate when people bring uninvited kids to weddings, so I'm not about to beg the bride. Also, H and I haven't been on a vacation together in the 7 years we've known each other. I also have LO alone a lot lately for various reasons so I need the Mommy Break. Lastly, schlepping a ton of baby junk and a baby through an airport for a 3 day trip doesn't sound like fun.

Sure I'll miss LO but it's only 3 days, 4 at the most. She's also an easy baby so as long as she's fed, loved and play with she doesn't care who does it. I guess I knew I'd miss her but I wasn't feeling overly guilty about it until...

my Batsh*t Crazy SIL (she's insane for other reasons) commented on it this morning. She pretty much told me I should feel guilty for putting my needs first and LO won't remember me when I come back etc. etc.

I should let this go like everything she says because her 3 year old has never had a sitter on a Saturday night or a pj party at Grandma's. She's never even left him for a trip to Target. Which to each their own, but it's annoying because it's a Martyr Mom Medal for her.

So am I asking, am I crazy for leaving? Would you do it?

LnR70707 · October 2011

there is no way in hell I'd leave DS with my MIL, but if you've got a good situation for when you are gone I don't see an issue.

Carebear517 · October 2011

I wouldn't because I'm breastfeeding and don't have enough of a stash to last 4 days. But it sounds like you want a little getaway and that is nothing to be ashamed of. Don't listen to your SIL, your baby will absolutely still remember you when you get back.

dairygirl19 · October 2011

L&R70707:
there is no way in hell I'd leave DS with my MIL, but if you've got a good situation for when you are gone I don't see an issue.

Yeah, I'd trust my MIL with my own life...she's pretty great so no worries. She also spends a ton of time with LO and her other grandkids so she's up on all the "current" kid stuff.

dairygirl19 · October 2011

Carebear517:
I wouldn't because I'm breastfeeding and don't have enough of a stash to last 4 days. But it sounds like you want a little getaway and that is nothing to be ashamed of. Don't listen to your SIL, your baby will absolutely still remember you when you get back.

Thanks. Usually I ignore her and her judgement calls but this time it bothered me. Probably because I'm so excited to go and she rained on my parade..lol.

I am bfing but I have a good freezer stash. I also go back to work full-time in Dec. and had plans to ff feed then for a list of reasons..so if something happens to my supply while I'm away...so be it I guess.

Hope2Have · October 2011

I probably wouldn't just yet... a full day for sure, I'm not at all worrisome about her care, I know they would care for her, I think that I am just too needy to be with her right now. I say kuddos to you though, think there shouldn't be any guilt associated with it at all, sounds like you have 2 awesome moms that will be in control!

JUst a side note: I can't imagine having a wedding that LOs weren't invited to! I've never been to a kid free wedding so I guess it just doesn't even make sense to me.

CarlaAndJames · October 2011

Absolutely. Sounds like you were totally secure in it until your SIL made her comments, so just ignore her. My mom and my MIL are both fabulous and i would definitely leave LO with either of them for a few days.

IMO, LO won't remember...that you were gone! She'll definitely know who you are when you get back (you said you BF too, you think there's any chance she won't smell you and be excited to get to nurse?! of course she will!) Go. Have fun. Recharge.

My mom had 4 kids, she left all of us every single summer to go on a short trip with my dad. She credits those trips with keeping her married for 30+ years. We're all very well adjusted with no abandonment issues! haha!

katiewhompus · October 2011

I wouldn't but i also wouldn't judge anyone who would at this age. Just bring a pump and you should be ok. Enjoy getting some sleep!

katie4253 · October 2011

With MIL? Hell no! With my mom, sure. I know you trust both sets, so I see no issue.

redfish08 · October 2011

Go! Have a great time. You won't regret it! (coming from a mom who regularly travels for work.)

ShannonMacHappy · October 2011

I wouldn't do it, but I wouldn't expect others to do the same. To each their own. I EBF, so that's part of it for me. But if you feel comfortable doing it, then go for it

lbgriffith · October 2011

We left DS for an out of town wedding for 3 days. It was so hard but it was nice at the same time. I think it would not have been *that* bad originally but the day before we left, he got croup so I had to leave behind a sick baby

Also, I WISH I had your MIL. We asked MIL to watch DS on that Thurs. night before we left because it was the option that disrupted LO's routine the least and she pitched this big fit about it because she knew LO wasn't sleeping the best at that time. So he stayed with my mom the whole time. It'll be good for you to have a vacation, but also know that you're lucky to have your families to help out (and that you trust them to)!

holocene · October 2011

I wouldn't, but I don't agree with your SIL. Of course your baby is going to remember you!

If you want to go, go! And enjoy yourself!

itsmevkb · October 2011

Yes, I would be totally fine with leaving my children with someone I trust (and have for as long as a week). Your daughter will definitely remember you when you return, it is ridiculous for your SIL to say otherwise.

Go and have fun.

mrswalkertobe · October 2011

I leave my 3 month old with my mother for a weekend once a month because of my work schedule. He is not an easy baby but my mom knew that before she agreed to watch him and he actually slept better for her ( as in starting sleeping 12 hours a night unswaddled). It is harder on me leaving him but I get frequent updates and a huge smile when I picked him up. Go to your wedding if you trust them to take good care of her, you deserve a break and she will definitely remember you!

blackqueen416 · October 2011

Mommy get away. kiss your LO and give her a big hug and squeeze and go enjoy yourself. As long as you know that LO is safe and well taken care of while you are gone then you have nothing to worry about. Your baby will remember you. You SIL is a cray for even saying that.

bonitatinabina143 · October 2011

No, but only because I'm breastfeeding. If I wasn't I would trust my mom caring for her for a weekend but not any longer.

LuH55 · October 2011

Yes. You are a good mama and have nothing to feel guilty about, as long as you know she's safe and happy. YOU need the time away and deserve it! You'll come back to your LO and be relaxed and happy.

heather82hair · October 2011

SIL is nuts for saying that to you. Go have fun! And considering you trust your mom and MIL you have NOTHING to be concerned about. I am breastfeeding and I would leave LO with my mo. My MIl is out of town and is a bit older so I wouldn't leave DD with her, but would totally with my mo! Go recharge!

Angel0423 · October 2011

I don't plan to leave her over night until she's a year old. Largely in part to the breastfeeding and not wanting to have to pump on vacation. (I pump 4x/day now, the novelty has worn off). I plan to nurse for a year, after which if we wean, no biggie!

Birdies08 · October 2011

Me, personally? No. My LO is getting better at being away from us, but she still only makes it a few hours (I SAH). I think this has more to do with her and our parenting style than anything, though.

You know your baby best. I'm sure it will be hard, but trust your instincts. It sounds like you have good, loving caregivers to be in your place. Don't let SIL make you feel bad for doing what you know is fine for your family.

Sean+Lyss · October 2011

I think that its great that you trust your MIL so much! I don't, so no, I would not do it. But like other PPs said, I BF so that is a factor. If you feel safe and confident then go for it! I am going to tell you that you will miss LO so so so much thought.

Wundervoll · October 2011

I see nothing wrong with leaving your LO with two trusted family members, however it will be a very long time before we leave our daughter anywhere overnight. As PPs have said, I am breastfeeding, so overnight trips away are not really an option for us right now anyways.

fancynewbeesly · October 2011

I would!

Hubby and I both work, so during the day MIL watches her usually 3-4 days a week. My mom does the other day.

We have definitely gone out together with LO in the evening, and we do have an overnight wedding to go to in November that my MIL will be watching her for. And another in January that my parents will be watching her for.

laurakaz13 · October 2011

OP- Don't you feel guilty! My DH and I went halfway across the country for a wedding for 3 days when LO was only 2 months old. Let me tell you it was wonderful!

Of course we missed DD, but we got alone time, got to sleep and just enjoy each other's company. I was breastfeeding, but had a stash already. So I just pumped. My parents whom I totally trust stayed at our house with DD.

I'm about to leave for 4 days for another wedding this coming weekend. DH is staying home. Can I just say that I'm just as excited to go away this time? Go and enjoy your weekend with your husband!

Your marriage and sanity are just as important as your LO. Have fun!

erbear · October 2011

of course. She sounds like she'll be in good hands.

We went to a wedding when DD1 was 2 months. It sucked to pump every 3 hours but everyone was fine. Breastfeeding does not mean that you can't leave your kid.

MilMom2B · October 2011

If I were in your situation, then yes I would go ahead and leave for the weekend. It sounds like you're very prepared and that you're leaving her in excellent care. Will you miss her? Sure. But, you don't need to feel guilty about it, either way. And I firmly believe that we all need little mommy breaks here and there, happy mommy is vitally important for a happy baby. And FWIW my LO didn't see her Daddy for 3 weeks and still greeted him with a bigger smile than she gives anyone else and was ecstatic to be in his arms again.

EJChapman123 · October 2011

When Emma was 3 months old, I left her for 2 nights with my in-laws. We didn't even go anywhere, my in laws just wanted to spend a couple days with her and we were happy to have a couple days to ourselves. I didn't feel weird or guilty about it. I stay at home and see my child all the time and love her to pieces. I missed her, but she knew who I was and it wasn't traumatic in any way. I also totally trust my MIL...

I also formula feed, and she is an "easy" baby and sleeps through the night. If she didn't, I wouldn't of left her.

I know someone said they had never been to a child-free wedding, but at least in my group of friends and in this area thats the norm. Its extremely expensive per head, and weddings go until 11pm or midnight with lots of drinking and music. Im planning my wedding, and my own daughter will be at the ceremony, but not the reception.

aggy34 · October 2011

We left LO with MIL and SIL for 3 days about 3 weeks ago when we took a trip to celebrate out first anniversary. I love my MIL and had no problems leaving him with them. I was more worried about our dog since my brother was watching her for us and he can be very forgetful at times like the one time we when OOT overnight and he forgot to check on her the entire time. If you are comfortable with your mom and MIL watching LO then go for it and don't feel guilty you need the time with DH and to have fun without worrying about LO. Happy momma=happy baby/family.

clussyK · October 2011

I've been to a couple of weddings which exclued LO's and I respect their decision. ((shrugs))

We're going to an out of town wedding next month for 4 days and our LO is staying w/my Mom, who she's uber comfortable with. It sounds like you absolutely trust your MIL, so I don't see the issue. at all.

Have fun!

SFBayMrs · October 2011

If you don't feel bad about it, don't let anyone make you feel that way! You definitely deserve a break, and time away with your DH is good for your marraige, which is great for your child!

Personally, I couldn't do it. Heck -- I'm still working on leaving him with someone for bedtime, lol. BUT since you can, MORE POWER TO YOU GIRL! Let us know how it goes. I'm sure LO will be totally fine and is in very capable hands.

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