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Last night

krysiahamatykrysiahamaty
in Late Term and Child Loss

I went to a birthday party. I had one weak moment where I had to pull DH aside and cry my eyes out. Jack should have been there. I pictured him there with me. The rest of the night went pretty smoothly. Then when we came home, I went into Jack's room and sat on the glider and just sobbed. I felt so guilty for going and having an ok time. I want my baby boy here so badly!!!!!!!!!!

 Just had to let that out. Thank you.  

TTC since November 2009. DH diagnosed with sperm antibodies. IUI #1 = BFN IUI #2 = BFN On the road to IVF.... Egg Retrieval Jan 21, 2011 16 eggs retrieved Egg transfer Jan 26, 2011 Only 2 viable eggs transferred. 1 IVF, 1 ICSI IVF #1 = BFP :-) 10/3/11 No heart beat at 38 weeks: Our baby Jack became an angel 12/14/11 = natural BFP Rainbow baby Samantha Jacklyn born8/8/12. Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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Re: Last night

  • starrkitten89starrkitten89
    (((Hugs)))

    Lilypie - (yNYF)

    Lilypie - (bSes)

    T1 diabetes diagnosed 11/95 due to severe pancreatic injury
    BFP 1 1/22/10 EDD 9/30/10 Adria b. 9/11/10 d.8/9/11, Transposition of the Great Arteries,
    Pleural effusion, Kidney Failure
    BFP 2 4/26/12 EDD 1/3/13 M/C 5/13/12
    BFP 3 10/3/12 EDD 6/17/13 Twins! Preston and Juliet b. 5/22/13

     

     

     

     

     

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  • hewinkedhewinked
    I so remember the days where I felt so awful for feeling even the little bit happy or ok or "normal" when I was out doing something.  So many hugs to you.
    imageimageimage
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  • HeatherhahHeatherhah member
    I feel exactly the same way. You are not alone right now I am sitting at a pumpkin patch surrounded by people who dont know me and my heart breaks for my baby. How can i have fun when she is gone i cant yet! 
    DS- Brenden born 11/13/93 Missed miscarriage on March 6, 2007 @ 9 weeks D&C on March 8th 2007. Riley Annalise born 2/25/08 ( 3 weeks early weighing 8 lbs 12.8 oz.) Chemical pregnancy 3/2010. Sydney Adriana born sleeping on 9/30/11 weighing 10lbs 3 oz at 38wks 4 days. Trinity Alivia born via c section at 36 wks 4 days weighing 9 lbs. 5.7 oz. She is our amazing rainbow baby!!! Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers PGAL buddy drvst8
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  • illinigalillinigal member
    Hugs.  I know what you mean.  We all want our baby boys very badly.... I still can't believe they are gone.
    TTC #1 since October 2008. Dealing with MFI.
    IVF #1 w ICSI in July 2010 = BFN
    IVF #2.1 in Oct 2010 converted to IUI = BFN
    IVF #2.2 w ICSI in Dec 2010 = BFN
    Met with new RE in new city on 1/31/11.
    IVF #3 w ICSI in April 2011. HPT on 5/9 = BFP!
    Beta #1 on 5/10 (10dp5dt) = 99.4. Beta #2 on 5/12 = 284. First u/s on 5/26. = Fraternal TWINS!
    Twin boys born & lost on 8/16/11 at 18w1d due to PPROM & preterm labor.
    IVF #4.1 in Jan 2012 converted to IUI on 1/7/12 = BFN
    IVF #4.2 w ICSI in Feb 2012. Lupron on 2/10. Stims on 2/18. ER on 2/29- 7R,6F
    ET scheduled for 3/5/12- nothing to transfer :(
    Dh seeing new MFI uro & Dh starting meds- June 2012.
    IVF #5 in Dec 2012 = BFFN.
    IVF #6 planned for Spring 2013. Praying for our take home baby/ies.
    **P/SAIF and P/SAL always welcome!**

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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  • krysiahamatykrysiahamaty
    I went with DH and some friends for lunch. There was a little boy running around the restaurant. I lost it and had to walk away crying. 
    TTC since November 2009. DH diagnosed with sperm antibodies. IUI #1 = BFN IUI #2 = BFN On the road to IVF.... Egg Retrieval Jan 21, 2011 16 eggs retrieved Egg transfer Jan 26, 2011 Only 2 viable eggs transferred. 1 IVF, 1 ICSI IVF #1 = BFP :-) 10/3/11 No heart beat at 38 weeks: Our baby Jack became an angel 12/14/11 = natural BFP Rainbow baby Samantha Jacklyn born8/8/12. Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    Report Reply
  • sandykinssandykins member
    Hugs
    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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  • magdalina.hmagdalina.h member

    The guilt sucks, but I guarantee that Jack wants you to be happy. Having an okay time doesn't mean that you miss him any less.

    ((hugs))

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie Third Birthday tickersLilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • roxyttandmeroxyttandme member
    (((hugs))) I remember those days too. They tend to happen less with time. It will always hurt - but the time makes it more manageable. I am so sorry, hun.... 
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  • CaroleeCarolee member
    Big (((HUGS)))
    Mom to Eliott Alexander, born sleeping at 37 weeks on 8/13/10. Most of us only dream of angels - I held one in my arms.
    BFP #2 - EDD 2/26/12 M/C 6/28/11 @ 5w2d
    BFP #3 - EDD 4/7/12 M/C 8/2/11 @ 4w2d
    Too beautiful for this earth
    BFP #4 - EDD 12/09/12, Lucille arrived 11/26/12
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  • pb127pb127 member
    imagemagdalina.h:

    The guilt sucks, but I guarantee that Jack wants you to be happy. Having an okay time doesn't mean that you miss him any less.

    ((hugs))

    Absolutely this.  Big (((hugs)))!

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    ? to Loss+M/PL+TTCAL+PgAL+PAL

    PgAL/PAL welcome
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  • butterfly843butterfly843
    Sending big hugs your way.

    Jenn

    image 3 IUI's all BFN

    IVF#1 BFN IVF#2 BFP, loss at 19 weeks FET#1 BFN IVF#3 BFP, m/c FET#2 BFN

    Missing our twins Zachary and Madison, lost at 19 weeks on 11/13/09, edd 4/9/10

    BFP 7/17/10, m/c 7/25/10, edd 3/25/11

    Ectopic, lost left tube 4/20/11, edd 12/6/11

    my blog

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