Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Greenbaby3114
member
, I carry it in my 
Re: Shower for a 3rd child? Thoughts?
I think it's fine, but showers for subsequent children are common amongst the people I know.
Tell me, what differentiates a sprinkle from a shower? People still bring gifts, right? Does calling it something different just make people feel more proper? If I got an invitation that said "It's a sprinkle for Pam" I'd probably be like wtf is a sprinkle?? I'd never heard of this until this pregnancy. I swear, it's another one of those things the etiquette brigade of the bump made up.
Success After Losses. I carry your
Got it. I guess aside from close family no one buys huge gifts in our circle anyway, so the first or second shower is no different. Close family seems to buy something big regardless of the number of child that it is.
So is having a registry for the second, even if you don't tell people you have it, tacky? Many people do it just for the completion discount, so what if your guests of your "sprinkle" find it? Isn't telling guests where you are registered tacky regardless? I see so often that you should never advertise in an invitation where you are registered. Just trying to find out what is "proper".
All of this. I actually just got an invite from a friend who is on her 2nd baby and is having a shower. It's the norm around here, especially if the 2nd baby is a different sex.
im having one (actually 3), but I didn't suggest either of them. My family is a 'shower for every kid" kind of family. My co-workers are very excited that I am having a girl and they offered to throw one, and I am a cheer coach (who has only sons) so my parents are ecstatic so they are throwing one. None of them were my idea, but I again was raised in a family that believes every baby deserves a shower so I don't see the problem with them either way.
I do feel it is a little presumptuous for your friend to think she has a right to one. If my family and friends offered a sprinkle or nothing at all, that would've been fine with me as well.
Success After Losses. I carry your
I agree with this
Haha! I agree with all of this!
I don't think a shower for subsequent babies is out of line at all. I've really only heard it to be "tacky" from the ladies here. I thought it was a celebration for mom and the new baby. So, the new baby doesn't get to be celebrated or get anything new because you already have a child? blah!
The more I see this tread come up...the more irritating it gets. I don't see the difference between a so called "sprinkle" or "shower" besides the name.
I am in agreement with this.
The new baby can have all new things if the parents can afford to buy them, IMO. Second showers are not common around me. I think if people want to buy you something for a second baby they will, and if they don't want to they won't. I also don't really see the difference between a shower and a sprinkle, except the name.
I have to agree with Reheadbaker... I think it's tacky for #2 and beyond and it is the parent's responsibility to provide for their babies even if it's been 5 years and that baby is a different sex. However, since it has become more and more of a norm these days I don't think you would offend anyone by throwing her a shower. If guests are offended or don't want to buy her something then they won't come or won't send a gift.
I also don't see why calling it something different makes it different. I had never heard of a sprinkle before the Bump either. (I guess it's what we had, though - DH's extended family surprised us with a mini-shower, mostly just baby clothes, while we were on vacation this summer.)
I can see it both ways. We'll have four years between kids and they will be different sexes. We saved a lot of DD's gear, which we deliberately selected to be gender neutral, but we've had to store it at my ILs because we move a lot and we don't have much storage space of our own. I didn't bother to save clothes because we use a really good children's consignment store and I figured the chances we'd have another girl around the same time of year were slim. Coming to the decision to have another child took a while for us, and there were certainly moments when I thought it was a waste to keep everything around for years if we weren't sure we'd use it. Plus, things expire - we're not even at your friend's five-year mark and it's an issue for us as far as carseats and such.
I agree parents should be prepared to buy what they need for any child, but that goes for first child, second child, eighth child, whatever. When it all comes down, I don't really care what other people do. I'm going to a shower next month for the second child of a couple we know - their first was born after ours - and it hasn't occurred to me to be offended.
This is my third child in three years and I will have 2 showers for this baby. I had showers for my first two as well. None were my idea or suggestion, but I am very thankful for them.
I live in the south where this is very common though. Every baby gets a shower around here and no one thinks twice about it.
I would definitely throw your friend a shower. Go all out-she is having a little boy and hasn't had a baby in 5 years. Even if you don't live in an area where subsequent showers are acceptable-those seem like good reasons to throw one. You sound like you are a good friend to her-I'm sure she will be very grateful for you!
Personally, I would never want a shower for my 2nd, nor would I host one for a friend. I just don't understand showers for 2nd+ kids.
Here's how I understand a "sprinkle" v. "shower":
Shower-Done at a home or public venue, includes baby games (even if it's just guessing the size of mom's belly), food is served, decorations
Sprinkle: Done at a home, no baby games, maybe a light snack is served, shorter, mor of a "come hang out with mom", smaller gifts
Just my $0.02.
My opinion on this situation: if you really feel like your friend is expecting you to host a shower/sprinkle thing, and you aren't comfortable, what about suggesting you host a "meet the baby" thing post-baby? You host it at your home, date suggested by mom based on how she is feeling post-partum. Gifts are welcome if brought, but no registry info is sent out.
And yes, I am also of the "it's the parent's responsibility" to provide for their 1st through 20th child mindset.
Um, not really. I mean, you can say that maturity-wise in comparison to an adult, I guess, but in the context of stuff, my daughter is four and she hasn't used most of her baby gear for years. Her infant seat will expire next summer, whether LO outgrows it by then or not, so it's not like things last indefinitely, either. I've been hanging on to her things on the assumption that we would probably try to have another eventually (and be successful - I'm not young), but for years we didn't have any specific plans about when/if to have more children. Lots of people don't. Saving stuff is a gamble when you're not sure you'll have more kids and someone else could put it to better use. Now, if we hadn't saved all our gear, then it would be our responsibility to buy it, but it's the parents' responsibility no matter what.
I think the whole shower thing is kind of a farce - don't get me wrong, it's one I like and have participated in as a recipient, guest (oh so many times) and hostess, but when grown men and women should be able to buy things for their own kids (or, with wedding showers, they should be independent enough to establish their own households, and often their registries are just upgrades to existing pots, knives, bedding, etc. - certainly ours was), I just think it's kind of silly to split hairs over who "needs" a shower and who doesn't.
I love going to baby showers, whether it is for a 1st child or a fourth. I love shopping for gifts, cathcing up with other ladies and playing shower games.
Never in a million years would anyone I know IRL think that it is tacky to celebrate a pregnancy and new baby. I feel sorry for those who choose not to go to subsequent showers for this reason - they're missing out on a whole lotta fun to abide some ridiculous and dated "etiquette" rule.
If she feels okay about it, and even said she wants a full shower, you might just have to go with it. Personally if I were her I'd feel weird about it. But she seems ok with the idea.
This will only be my 2nd (well 2nd and 3rd) and I don't feel comfortable having even a sprinkle. Most people said it wouldn't be weird because they are boys this time and because there are two of them so I'll need more stuff. 2nd showers are the norm around here, and I always go. But even with those qualifing factors, it just seems tacky, for me personally.
I don't feel good about people feeling like they needed to get me more gifts, so I said no shower.
I think it's tacky. Why can't she buy her own stuff? People dont "need" showers.
I am okay with showers for the first and even the second, but anymore and its ridiculous to me. The only exception is a group shower. Like my moms group throws "showers" (aka. playdates with food and cake) at the local park a few times a year and anyone having a baby that season is "showered". Usually we all chip in for some diapers and a couple $20 gift cards, but that's it. Nobody is the center of attention. I mean personally, I'd be super embarrassed having all the attention at a solo shower while pregnant with my THIRD baby. It's kinda like "been there, done that".
After reading the comments, I'll agree with those that said this is 2011, if a baby NEEDS things, then the PARENTS buy them.
This baby is our third daughter, but guess what? She is getting a whole new wardrobe. Not a single hand-me-down, at least for awhile. Why? Well, 1) we live in Washington now (other two kids were Texas & southern California babies) and it is cold here. 2) She is a winter baby, my other two were born in the summer. We have nothing warm, never even thought about it with my summer/warm climate babies!
And no offense to PP, but I'd be mortified to have three showers thrown for me on baby #1, #2, #3 or #10. Why can't you consolidate them into one shower?!
A good friend offered to throw me a shower this time and I turned her down. I told her thank you, but I'd be really embarrassed by all the attention. I also hate the thought of people spending money on my baby.
FTR, I didn't have a wedding shower either. Maybe I'm just weird?
Aren't bigger ticket items typically purchased by very very close friends and family members anyway? I mean, shower or no shower? Because I don't believe someone should expect a casual friend/acquaintance to purchase huge or expensive things to begin with, I don't think twice if someone closer is moved enough to buy such a gift.
I'm with you on the no registry thing. I didn't even want a shower, but have been told someone is throwing me one (this will be my first child in 20 years, so nothing is left over). While I understand that registries help a gift-giver think of something to give that is wanted (and within their budget) they still strike me as "gimme" ... maybe that's just a hangup from the way I was raised? I hate the thought of them. However, with the discounts stores are now offering parents off items NOT purchased on gift-registries, I can see where it's a smart consumer move on the parent to register with the intention of purchasing their own high-end items after the fact but at a discount. So...if she wants to register, let her register, don't put where she's registered on the invitations, and if inquiring minds want to know, they'll seek her or you out.
I think everyone makes a big deal out of everything all the time here on the Bump. LOL
I think the concept of showers after the first being tacky is mostly a regional/cultural thing.
My opinion? To each her own. If someone wants to throw me a shower, then ok. If not, well, ok. From the 1st to the 19th LOL.
My only etiquette objection would be is this: you never, ever throw your OWN shower. That's like asking for gifts. I will not be doing this.
I did, however, put up a registry. I didn't tell anyone about it except DH, but if someone asks, I will volunteer the info. I didn't do it for gifts, but more for a checklist and a completion discount.