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3rd Trimester
Just Complaining :(
I don't expect anyone to respond to this. I just need to vent!
My in-laws are a nightmare. They live 8 hours away and pop in unexpectedly at least once-a-month. If they weren't so inconsiderate and didn't expect to be waited on hand and foot, it wouldn't be so bad. However, that's not the case!
I just found out this morning from my SIL that the in-laws are on their way out here as we speak. Had it not been for her heads-up I wouldn't have had any idea they were coming! I have to ask: Who in their right mind drops in for an overnight visit on someone who is 38 weeks pregnant??? And what woman, at 38 weeks, really wants house guests? Not me, that's for certain!
To top it off, my MIL is so rude when it comes to my pregnancy. Every time she sees me I am barraged with a constant heap of insulting comments about my weight, whether or not I have stretch marks, my face has sure gotten fat, etc. I have had a really tough week! Not only did my grandmother pass away yesterday, but I am so sore and baby feels so low that it literally hurts to walk. I was so looking forward to a relaxing weekend doing absolutely nothing with my husband but instead, I'll have to wait on the demanding in-laws, be insulted about my looks, and have to put up with a constant invasion of my personal space as they molest my belly! I am at my wits end!
Thanks for letting me complain. I feel better... Kind of 
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Just Complaining :(
Posts like this make me more and more grateful that my MIL isn't in the picture.
I have no idea how to help...except that maybe you could hide in your bedroom while they're visiting? I know it won't help much, but maybe it could buy you a couple of hours here and there of peace.
Are you the kind of person who is able to blame 9 months pregnant hormones on anything? Once again, not the nicest way to deal with them, but might buy you a little bit of peace here and there. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this!
My little goofball born 1/2012
Thank you for the responses, ladies! That's why I love these boards; everyone supports everyone else and at this stage of pregnancy, that's what we all need, right?
Anyway, many of you suggested standing up to the in-laws. I have done this and continue to do this. I am VERY firm with them and have even been quite rude to them on occasion regarding their behavior. However, they have zero respect for me, so everything I say goes in one ear and out the other! Until my husband stands up to them, nothing will ever change. Unfortunately, he almost seems afraid to do this! It baffles me! As a man with a wife and a baby on the way, he needs to grow a pair and tell his parents what's what! In my opinion, he's just as much at fault for their behavior as they are, because he won't do/say anything about it and continues to allow them to steamroll over us. I really hope once the baby gets here that his mindset will change and he'll be more willing to stand up to his family, but, we'll see. I've discussed this with him endlessly, but until he decides to make a change, we'll never make progress with his folks. As they say, "you can lead a horse to water...".
I was gonna suggest this. They can't complain about you not being there if they don't give you any notice.
Have your coats by the door. When they "stop by" throw on your coats and tell them, "sorry...we have plans...we were just going out. " Hop in the car and head to a movie or something fun and relaxing with your hubby. Doing that once might make them realize that they need to call first.
7lbs 13oz 20 inches long
Wow, that is just wildly unacceptable. So sorry you have to deal with them. Driving 8 hours with no call saying they are coming? That's insanity.
Tell DH that you love him, his parents are on the way, and that you need his credit card so that you can go check into the hotel for the duration of their stay. If he asks why, tell him that you're not in the mood to put up with their crap about your pregnancy and you've already had a bad enough week. If you're feeling really spiteful, invite a girlfriend.
He's got to get his stuff together. He knows that you've had a rough week and that his parents are not easy on you, so if he can't stand up to them, he can at least deal with being at their beck and call for their visit. Maybe that will get him in line. I hope things turn out okay with their visit. Also, I'm sorry for your loss.
You gotta have your husband be your advocate. He should be telling his parents that 1) you are beautiful and their comments about your looks are just down-right appropriate and 2) you are in your final weeks of pregnancy and the two of you need some time to yourselves, without guests.
I'd have him call them on their drive to you and tell them to turn around.
Usually the cure for belly molesting is quite simply rub theirs back...
Tonight sure sounds like a good night for a movie - oh heck, a double-feature... Make sure that you insist that the cell phones get turned OFF.. Tell your DH that "we won't be able to do this after LO comes for a good long time, let's make the most of the last time we've got alone together!"...
I will say it was considerate for your SIL to call to give you the head's up though!
Breastfeeding and pregnant!
To the ladies that suggested she get a hotel room, you are all my heros LOL! My grandparents used to do this to my mother and it would make her crazy and she would never say anything to them. I remember telling her when I was in 7th grade that if she ever did this to me, she would be turned around at the door! I think she believed me, because she calls before she comes.
GL to op- make it a girl's weekend- get a room, a manicure and pedicure, take a good book and let your husband stay home and "run and get this and that" for his parents!
Replying before I read the other, so sorry if someone has already suggested this.
Go stay in a hotel. NOW. Leave asap, and don't even be there. Turn off your phones and take a spontaneous babymoon. What fun for them to show up to an empty house and no way to contact you!! Maybe they'll finally learn....
If you already have kids, pick a hotel with an indoor pool. Seriously, go. YOUR sanity is way more important than your picky MIL's need to intrude on your life. I just hope your DH will back you up on this- didn't get any idea either way from your post how he feels about these visits.
If I could pay for your hotel, I would- you deserve this break after the week you've had!! GL!!
This. I was going to suggest a good book and a hotel room, preferrably one with room service. Tell DH to stand up to ILs and you'll be home when they leave. Good luck!
Change the locks!! haha!
Sorry you're dealing with this. I guess i got lucky with two inlaws who just ask a lot of questions.
If your husband can't stand up to them when you are 38 week pregnant and in pain, he never will.
You need to go stay at a hotel for the weekend. Let him deal with them. I was where you are at this time last year (I'm bored and just lurking right now) and I remember wanting to just dig a hole and sleep. My husband would take my daughter (who was only 15 months at the time) and go do day trips so I could rest. You need rest!!!
I am so annoyed for you. Grrr.
Married 6/28/03
Kate ~ 7/3/09 *** Connor ~ 11/11/10
4 miscarriages: 2007, 2009, 2013, 2014
*~*~*~*~*
No more TTC for us. We are done, and at peace, as a family of 4.
"Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.” — Charles Dickens
Like PPs I am so annoyed for you too! Please update us with what you decide to do - hopefully whatever it is, your DH will finally find a pair. You are definitly not the only one out there dealing with crappy inlaws but this seems pretty extreme!
GL and I hope you can enjoy your weekend!
WHY in Hades do you put up with it? Why do you answer the door? Why do you allow her to put you down? Why does your husband?
My own mother, who is normally great, every once in awhile flips a switch and turns into rude, psycho mom.
About a year ago, we visited and she was completely ridiculous.... criticizing my every parenting move and comparing me to my crack-head ex SIL. After I tried to defend myself, she got in my face and started yelling at me with her finger in my face. (She still, in her mind, thinks I'm still a disrespectful 14 year old even though I'm 30). I left the room in tears and told my husband what had happened.
Immediately, my husband went into the room and told her matter-of-fact, that he is very protective of his family, and that anyone who attacks his family has to deal with him. She literally has not been rude to me since, and that was a year ago.
Not only should your husband stand up for you, YOU should stand up for yourself too! Not to sound like Dr. Phil, but you TEACH people how to treat you, and she continues to do this because she CAN.
DO.NOT.ANSWER.THE.DOOR. And for pete's sake, if you do, ignore them. Do NOT cater to them. Do NOT cook for them. Tell them "Wow, if I had known you were coming, I would've prepared something for you." and go about your business. If you were planning to run errands, run them. If you were planning to take a 2-hour nap, take it. If they try to give you crap, tell them you had no idea they were going to come, and if they want you to change your schedule for them, you really need notice.
You've GOT to nip this in the bud now, because it will get worse after the baby is born, I promise you.
ETA: I just saw your second response. Your husband needs to grow a pair. Show him my post, if you'd like.