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D.C. Area Babies
Anyone have friends completely disappear after you had LO?
I have one friend who I wasn't exactly besties with, but we had known each other for several years, worked together and we ended up moving to DC within a few years of each other. We hung out at least every couple of months before I was pregnant, saw each other on birthdays and all that. About a year ago, I saw her at a party, told her I was pregnant - I was about 4 months along - and I literally haven't seen or heard from her since. So weird. she was invited to my shower and she didn't come, which is totally fine. She RSVPed to the hostess after a couple follow ups, a mutual friend of ours, but never called me or anything. I've sent her a couple emails and left her a voicemail message on her birthday but no response. She was laid off last year and I know she's starting up a political/lifestyle blog that she's been pitching to me via a blast email, and I'm about to unsubscribe. I've grown apart from people in my lifetime but I just think it's weird that I told her I was pregnant and I literally never heard from her again. I feel a bit used. Like, I'm no longer fun so why bother. Anyone else have friends just fall off the face of the earth after you started having kids?
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Re: Anyone have friends completely disappear after you had LO?
I had a friend disappear when we had DS. She's very career oriented and kind of child hostile. She doesn't have kids, want them or want anything to do with them. I've had a few that I'm not that close to anymore. they tend to be single with no kids. DS is a big focus of my life. They're still really focused on bar and boys and drinking. I'm not into that stuff anymore.
It's kind of the same thing that happened when I got married. A few of my more single friends became less present in my life.
Sometimes friendships seem to be built on being in a similar place in life and can't survive the switch.
i have had a friend disappear after sprout came. mostly, she was kind of flaky & when i was a slave to my baby's schedule, flaky didn't really mix in well. i also think that i became "less fun" in her eyes once i was a mom. i mean, my partying & drinking days were gone before i got married so i guess it was just her perception that changed.
anyways, it sucks.
I think it is normal- you are both at completely different places.
I had friends when I was in my early 20s who were getting married and I totally disappeared from those friendships. I had nothing in common with them anymore- they were preparing to have kids and I couldn't keep a plant alive.
Some of those friends, many years later, I have reconnected with because we are back in the same place. She might reappear eventually.
Mostly fringe friends. It sucks. But if I'm not fulfilling their needs as a friend, I tell myself, why would they want to stay in touch with me? I have a group of friends that I hung with exclusively at bars/parties - those guys are long gone. I'm FB friends with two of them, and they are still out living it up at every bar in town. Good for them I say. I'm pretty useless to them! (Anyone see Modern Family this week?)
ETA: I'd totally unsubscribe from her blog. Unless you really like it. But if you were only on there to support a friend, I'd get off the list.
Some friends are in your life for a season, some for a reason and some for a lifetime (not my quote) and I think this was a seasonal friend.
It's just normal for friendships and relationships to evolve and end.
I had a friend with whom I had a ton in commonin our 20s, we were both single, free and loving it. She lived in Woodbridge and later DC while I lived in Ashburn but we talked often and saw e.o. a few times a year. We saw e.o. less but still talked a lot as I started dating and married DH. She came to the wedding, came to the baby shower for DD. She came and saw DD when she was 2 weeks old, she's now 3 and I have not seen her since! We've talked on the phone a few times and made tentative plans but she wants to hang out at 7pm on a Friday night when I barely have the energy to get my butt to the couch!
She invited me to her b-day when DD was 6mo old but she was up every 3 hrs nursing and dinner at 10, followed by dancing was not for me. The next year I was 7mo pregnant. The year after she didn't invite me. Last time we talked, she wasn't sure she'd ever get married and said she didn't want kids (not sure I believed her). I miss her, we are still FB friends but we are in such different places in life right now. I hope to reconnect with her but I know it'll never be the same. It's sad but I have also made new friends that I met through being a Mom that I never would have. They don't replace my single-day friends of course but as I said, relationships move on.
I am sorry and I agree you should unsubscribe from the blog. Is this friend married?