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C-sections
Pacbrz
member
Did you have an unplanned C/S?
Pacbrz
member
in C-sections
I had an unplanned c/s, and I can't seem to let the experience go. See, I went into labor on my own, after membranes were scrapped 2 days earlier. I really wanted to try w/out drugs, but the labor was too intense, and I got an epideral. Many hours went by w/little progress & I had a fever + baby's heartrate increased. Now of course I am over the moon that my child is healthy & beautiful, BUT my experience was nothing I wanted. See, I was the last person to see my baby :-( The staff, and my husband saw her first. It was a surprise too, so I couldn't see anything. I really felt like a bystander, and am sad to this day about it.
Does any of this sound somewhat familiar to you mommies? I think I'm having some depression too, comes and goes.
I hope to hear from you all.
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Re: Did you have an unplanned C/S?
I had an emergency section and was under general anestesia, because of this I did not get to see DS until the next morning (he was born a little after 11). I was a little sad about that, but really I was just glad that they were able to do what needed to be done to make sure we both made it through the birth and came out healthy on the other side.
I do know a lot of people feel similar to the way you do and it could not hurt to talk to someone if you feel you need it.
I had an unplanned c section because dd turned breech. I really wanted natural labor. I had a c section under g/a, so pretty much the complete opposite.
I have been having a hard time getting past it, but it does get easier. I still get upset, and sometimes cry, but it isn't as hard as it was a few months ago. (DD just turned 7 months).
I had planned a natural delivery but ended up needing to be induced. Before they could start the induction, DD went into Fetal Distress and I had to have an unplanned c/s. I was an emotional wreck when they told me, but they were really awesome about it. We didn't know what we were having so when they pulled DD out they said to DH "Dad, do you want to tell Mom what it is?" so DH got to tell me. And they showed her to me really quickly before taking her over to get cleaned and weighed. They even left DH cut the umbillical cord (even though it wasn't attached to the placenta anymore - but they left it long enough that he could still have the experience). Then they brought her to me and took pictures for us. DH and DD went into recovery to wait for me while they stitched me up. Once in recovery, I was holding her and nursing her.
It wasn't the birth I had planned and imagined, but ultimately it was the best route for me and DD, and I really didn't have an option. I was so happy to have her safe and sound in my arms that it didn't matter anymore.
Yes, sounds very familiar. My experience was very similar to yours. I still have feelings of regret and inadequacy when I think about my birth experience. I take it day by day and make sure to talk to DH about how I feel. He's good at reassuring me that I did everything my body and mind could possibly handle to get that baby out, and he reminds me that all that matters is our beautiful baby girl.
It's normal, and you have to let yourself grieve your birth plan, because it really is a loss in a way for a lot of women; to lose the birth experience you hoped to have. Giving birth is a very emotional experience and it's natural for our emotions to run wild afterward, especially when the birth ended in surgery.
I felt extremely delicate and vulnerable for about 4 weeks after the birth, which was the normal teary stuff that comes post partum. But the feelings of sadness due to the c/s lasted longer, and I'd say I started really feeling better about it around 4-5 months.
Hang in there and make sure you're talking to people about how you're feeling. If you are still feeling depressed, see your OB. Hugs & luck!
Was this recent? I had an emergency c-section. I think the only thing worse than laboring with no results is not getting to labor at all. I've never experienced even one contraction. My daughter stopped moving at 38 wks, after a day of that my husband and I went into the hospital. She was unresponsive other than her hb, so the OB did a c-section right away. I think I was so worried about her health that I wasn't as concerned about the experience itself, but looking back I wish it had gone differently. I, too, was the last to see her. I only saw her naked and sticky in pictures. When she was first brought to me in the hospital she was already in a blanket.
It took me a while to get over what happened, it took a lot of people (including doctors) telling me that this was the best possible outcome for her delivery. And that had I had the labor I wanted, she would not be here today. As a mom, all you want is to keep them safe, and that's what I did. I guess that was one of my first lessons as a mom. It wasn't what I wanted, but it was the right thing to do for her. Talking about it helped me, and of course looking at her sweet little face!
I had an emergency and only got to see Aidan's nose. I wasn't able to go up to the NICU for several hours. I also wasn't able to hold him until the day before he passed away.
Oh, I am SO sorry for your loss. It makes me feel like I am just whining. I can't imagine what that feels like. I hope you're doing ok. Hugs!
I went in at 7 am on August 4th. They broke my water an hr later as i was already 2cm and 75% effaced when I came in. Iwanted to go all natural. At 7 hrs in labor and barely any progress they talked me into some light drugs to help move labor on. I onlly moved to 3cm and 75% so at 14hrs in labor I tried an epidural and at 15 hrs into labor It only brought me to 4cm and 90% effaced. During the epidural LO's heartrate skyrocketed and so did mine because they stabbed me 32 times before they got it right. Lo and behold I had to have a c-section due to no change. LO was stuck in my pelvic so there was no way i could have had him naturally. So at almost 16 hrs of labor he was here.
Thank you for letting me know I'm not alone. Today I am feeling "normal" again, but yesterday was awful -stayed in bed a lot, nursed my daughter, my mom was here to help out, while my husband was on business. I dragged myself to an exercise class at my gym, and the class can be goofy, so I had some good laughs throughout. I suppose if I were PTSD that I would not be able to laugh, and feel normal from one day to the next? How was it for you? Hugs back :-)
I had a traumatic emergency c-section with my DS
I felt the same way for a long time, and I still have my moments with it here and there. It took me over a year to get to the point where I could talk about it without crying or at least tearing up.
Ultimately as he gets older and funnier with more and more personality, the less I remember how I felt the day he came into the world and the more I focus on how lucky I am to have this little boy in my life.
If I sit down and think about everything that happened that day, then yes, I get a little sad, but then I remember how lucky we were that both he and I were okay in the end.
Good luck to you, and I promise with time, you will feel better about it.
BFP 12/19/08- DS born 8/25/09 9lbs2oz via Zavanelli Maneuver
BFP 8/26/11- Missed miscarriage discovered 10/19/11 at 11w2d, measured at 9 weeks gestation w/ no HB. D&C 10/21/11
BFP 3/17/12 at 12dpo CP 3/21/12
BFP 4/23/12 at 10dpo Stick my little one! Beta #1: 83.3 @ 13dpo Beta #2: 197.7 @ 15dpo
Our little man is getting bigger every day!
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I did and it's definitely difficult to deal with, especially during the first few months when lack of sleep, recovery and hormones amplify everything. I had the exact same feelings you do and I totally empathize.
I've recently come to the realization that I was silly to believe that I ultimately had the ability to control how Connor's birth would go. Anything can happen and sure we all ideally want the smooth, complication free birth with all of the warm fuzzy bonding right away, but how often does that really happen? And when things go "wrong" (I try to change that word to "differently" in my mind because there is no right or wrong way to bring a baby into the world as long as everyone is working together in the best interests of mom and baby), there is no one to blame... and I'm not saying that in a bitter way at all. The natural birth movement is putting a lot of unrealistic expectations in new mom's hearts and minds... and a lot of responsibility on the mom where it turns into a burden if the birth doesn't turn out as "planned".
You can't plan a birth. Sure there are things you can hope for and want... just like anything in life, but it really is out of your hands and there is no need to feel inadequate or depressed about how one birth compares to another.
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living my baby you'll be.
- Robert Munsch
~Started TTC 2/09. BFP #1 11/09. EDD 8/7/10. DS born 8/7/10.~
~Surprise BFP #2 5/11 while still BF'ing. Natural M/C @ 7w3d.~
~BFP #3 8/11. EDD 4/24/12. Heavy bleeding episodes from a lost twin. DD born 4/14/12.~
~Started TTC 2/13. BFP #4 3/13. EDD 11/8/13. Hoping for smooth sailing!~
It is difficult. You feel like you missed out on something very special. It helps if you talk to DH or someone else you trust about how you feel. And the important thing to remember is that your daughter is healthy!
I had planned to attempt labor with no drugs, but my water broke and I was only 1 cm and not progressing. After a while, they started me on Pitocin, and I just couldn't handle the contractions after that, so got an epidural. After 20 hours of labor I was at an 8 and making no progress, DS's heart rate kept dropping really low, and I was running a temp. My OB decided it was time for a C-section. I cried when she told me this, but agreed that with DS's heart rate not looking good, that it was a good decision. Because they thought I had an infection (because of the fever), they took him to the NICU immediately. I didn't get to see him at all. They didn't even show him to me. I heard one wimper from him on the way out the door. Ten minutes later they brought him in all swaddled up for a couple of minutes, and then I didn't get to see him for another 6 hours. I felt devestated by the whole thing! As it turns out, he most likely had the cord around his neck (due to bruising around his neck and he wasn't breathing/ was having trouble breathing when he came out).
When I think back, I feel like I almost completely missed his birth. But, at least I have him here today to love and enjoy. If I had not gotten the C-section, he might have gone longer with the cord around his neck, and I might not have him at all. That is what helps me feel better when I think about it. I would rather have missed the labor part of it in order to have him and hold him today!
It gets easier with time. But, if you are still depressed about it, and talking to someone about it doesn't make you feel better, let your doctor know!
I don't know much of anything about PPD but I know about the sad feelings. I had a very unplanned c/s. My water broke at 32 weeks and the baby was in a footling breech position. Plus I had this cerclage in and she was pressing down which could tear my cervix that had effaced already so they had to do the c/s right then. Then the baby was whisked off to the NICU. It was just a whirlwind nervewracking evening. And that was after planning a natural birth for years so not only was I dealing with all the c/s stuff at once but disappointed that I missed out on that. I felt almost guilty about how bad I felt when at the same time I had a healthy baby and no complications from the surgery. It was supposed to be the happiest day of my life but I can honestly tell you it was not. I was scared and nervous, worried about the baby and in really bad pain. It's hard to be elated like that! So I can totally relate with you about things not turning out they way you wanted. Just remember you can feel more than one emotion at once. Don't let people tell you you shouldn't be disappointed but happy with the new baby. You can be disappointed things didn't go as expected and still happy about having a new healthy baby. Knowing that has helped me deal with all this much better. Just because I'm sad and crying one minute doesn't mean LO doesn't make me smile with some silly face the next.