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Well now I just feel like a bad wife

rach10782rach10782 member
in Northern California Babies

Last night when my husband got home we sat down and had a long talk.  Turns out he "worries constantly about me being happy here."  I was shocked to say the least.  I love my husband very much but his strong suit is not always being tuned into my feelings.  Of course what cracks me up is that I am ok being here and I'm far from miserable.

In terms of the whole looking for a house in San Ramon/Orinda I should have known better than to work myself up.  My husband says things without letting them stew in his brain for more than three seconds.  

I really need to take a deep breath and realize that we have only been here for two weeks and it's going to take us both a little while to adjust and feel completely normal again.  Ehhh, who am I kidding.  I will forever work myself up about everything.  Isn't that acceptable since I'm a woman? 

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Re: Well now I just feel like a bad wife

  • Lexi & Orion's MommyLexi & Orion's Mommy
    moving can allways be hard, we have never moved further than across town, so i cant relate as far as moving accross the country. But just give it time, hopefully you both will find your CA Swing and start getting along better.
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  • Mrs_ShmoopieMrs_Shmoopie
    I'm glad you and your DH were able to communicate last night.  Try not to feel too bad for your vent -all you had to go by were the words coming directly out of your DH's mouth!  You had no way of knowing that all along, while he was complaining about his commute, talking about moving, etc, the most important thing to him was your happiness.  Sure, it'd be nice if we could give our spouses the benefit of the doubt more often but sometimes you just can't . Don't beat yourself up.  You're both adjusting to the move -although it sounds like you're doing a slightly better job at adjusting than he is ;) -and, like you said, it's only been two weeks.  :) 
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  • jsugrinjsugrin member

    I say you get to work yourself up about stuff, if goes right along with him getting grumpy with you because he thinks your upset and wants you to be happy (that is such a man thing, IMO). Smile.

    I'm glad that it all worked out and that you guys had a good talk.  Hopefully he'll understand that you are truly happy out here and ease up on himself a bit.  I can understand his stress, even though I'm sure it was a family decision he's got to be feeling like you guys moved because of "him".  I think it's sweet that he feels that kind of pressure, shows how much he loves you and wants to make sure that you come out ok in the whole thing too.

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