Infertility Veterans

My day is sooooo crappy...

It is definitly one of those days for me.  I got the results of my AMH test yesterday...it's actually less than 0.3 now.  I am waiting for the RE to call back so that we can discuss but...I have no words...

And to make things even worse, I found out this morning that I have yet another 20 year old cousin who is pregnant...with twins.  I am so tired of struggling with IF...

TTC since 3/07. IVF#1 = canceled. IVF#2 = 0% fertilization. IVF#3 = BFN. IVF#4 = c/p.  
Moving forward with Adoption 2017!

Re: My day is sooooo crappy...

  • Oh Delta, I am so sorry.  I am still praying that your RE has something to suggest when you get the call back.  I can't imagine how you are feeling, but I hope your RE has some advice to help you feel better.

    Sorry about your fertile cousin, they are the worst.  Huge ((hugs)), these days are not fair and I wish you didn't have to have them.  Keep us posted on what your RE has to say.  Again, I'm really sorry.

     
    me 33/DH 36
    ttc since 10/2008; d/x: mild MFI, stageII endo
    ~~PAIF/SAIF Welcome~~
    11 IUI’s = 1 m/c (7w4d)
    IVF#1 January 2012 BFN, FET #1 April 2012 BFN
    Surprise BFP October 2012 m/c (7w), Surprise BFP April 2013 m/c (6w4d)
    IVF #2: July 2013, ET 1 embryo 7/18, beta 1 @ 14dp3dt - 757, beta 2 @ 16dp3dt - 1762
    U/S 1 @ 6w4d = 1 little frogger with HB of 118, U/S 2 @ 7w3d measuring right on track with HB of 160
    Stick Frogger Stick! Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!   It's a Girl, EDD April 7, 2014

    BabyFruit Ticker

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  • BIG HUGS

    Do something nice for yourself today, shop, mani/ped, etc...

    I hope your day gets better!

    TTC #1 Since 11/08 - Dx: MFI & PCOS
    7 IUIs = All BFNs
    2011: March IVF #1.2 = e/p @ 6w: May IVF #2 = BFN: July sFET #1 = BFN

    2012: Jan We're Certified FC/A Parents
    May IVF #3 = c/p
    June-Nov Foster Mommy to M (Toddler)
    July FET #2 = BFN
    Aug FET #3 = BFN
    Sept-Nov Foster Mommy to Baby Bella (Newborn)
    Nov HSG/Sono = Clear!
    Dec FET #4 = BFN

    2013: Feb FET #5 = m/c @ 6.5w
    May-July Foster Mom to H (8 yr old girl)
    June/July/Aug IVF #4 = Freeze All
    July = Unofficially Adopting T (10 yr old boy)
    Sept FET #6 = TBD
    **PAIF/SAIF Welcome**
  • (((hugs))) Delta. That is officially a crappy day, I'm hoping and praying that the RE can give you some peace and has a plan or ideas to move forward. Please let us know how it goes.

    I'll add a FFS about your cousin, and twins, how spectacular for you to hear.

    2 IVFs & 1 FET. Welcome home baby girl!
  • ::hugs::

    I hope that your discussion with your RE goes well.

    Fertile cousins...i have many...it sucks...hugs.  

    TTC #2 since June '08

    ~*DD 10.21.07*~

    dx unexplained

    IUI #1-4 BFN

    IVF#1 June 2011 BFN

    IVF#2 Dec 2011

    Beta#1 12/21 : 812 Beta#2 12/23 : 1634

    EDD 8/25

    *PAIFW/SAIFW*

  • Oh Delta, I'm so sorry. I hope your RE has some advice for you.
    Big hugs!
    Renee- 37 DH - Chad - 39
    2/06 - surprise pregnancy - twins
    3/06 - m/c 1st baby at 6 weeks 
    5/06 -2nd baby had no heartbeat at 14 wks.
    D&E - Bled out. Blood transfusions. Week in ICU - Cheated Death!
    Diagnosis: Blood clotting and bleeding disorder, immune issues, & cervical stenosis
    5/10 - 1st IVF cycle - BFN
    FET - 10/12/10 - BFN
    1/11 - IVF with PGD - BFN
    IVF - May - BFN
    6/11 New RE - fingers crossed!
    9/11 - IVF - 4 transferred
    10/13 - BFP!!
    It's a boy! Clint Michael, Due in June!!!

    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker





  • Hugs.  I'm so sorry.  I hope your luck turns for the better very soon.

    TTC #1 since October 2008. Dealing with MFI.
    IVF #1 w ICSI in July 2010 = BFN
    IVF #2.1 in Oct 2010 converted to IUI = BFN
    IVF #2.2 w ICSI in Dec 2010 = BFN
    Met with new RE in new city on 1/31/11.
    IVF #3 w ICSI in April 2011. HPT on 5/9 = BFP!
    Beta #1 on 5/10 (10dp5dt) = 99.4. Beta #2 on 5/12 = 284. First u/s on 5/26. = Fraternal TWINS!
    Twin boys born & lost on 8/16/11 at 18w1d due to PPROM & preterm labor.
    IVF #4.1 in Jan 2012 converted to IUI on 1/7/12 = BFN
    IVF #4.2 w ICSI in Feb 2012. Lupron on 2/10. Stims on 2/18. ER on 2/29- 7R,6F
    ET scheduled for 3/5/12- nothing to transfer :(
    Dh seeing new MFI uro & Dh starting meds- June 2012.
    IVF #5 in Dec 2012 = BFFN.
    IVF #6 planned for Spring 2013. Praying for our take home baby/ies.
    **P/SAIF and P/SAL always welcome!**

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • I am sorry sweetie.  That is a tough day.  I hope your RE has reassuring words.  big ((hugs))
    TTC since 07/2009
    Me: PCOS, Blood/Immune Issues DH: Low all 3
    Jun.- Sep. 2010 IUI#1-#3 = BFN
    Oct. 2010 = IVF #1 = B/G Twins (passed away Feb. 2011)
    May 2011 = Myomectomy and trans-abdominal cerclage (TAC)
    Sep. 2011 = Surprise BFP = C/P
    Feb. 2012 = sFET #1 = BFN
    Feb.2012 = Hail Mary IUI #4 = BFN
    April/May 2012 = FET #2 w/our last two embies = BFP (Please let this be it!)
    Beta #1 8dp5/6dt = 234 Beta #2 10dp5/6dt = 695 Beta #3 12dp5/6dt = 1796 Beta #4 17dp5/6dt = 17,888 U/S #1 May 17, 2012 = Twins
    Baby B's heart stop beating at 9 weeks 5 days
    Our little miracle baby is a boy. :)

    Baby Boy Owen and Baby Girl Avery were born too early on Feb. 13, 2011 due to a pedunculated fibroid, incompetent cervix and suspected placental abruption.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    "What the heart has once owned and had, it shall never lose." - Henry Ward Beecher
    SAIF/PAIF Welcome
    Lots of love and luck to my PAIF/3T/IF Veteran ladies, especially my dear friend Zookie. Congrats to Papps, Teach84 and Starbuck on their little ones.
  • i'm so sorry cutie.

    let us know what your RE says.

    it just sucks, everything about IF just sucks

     

    (HUGS)

    image
    Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, It empties today of its strength. ~Corrie ten Boom
    Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. ~Mary Anne Radmacher (thank you beadinglady)

    It's been a long journey. TTC since 9/06. multiple IUI's and IVF's and 4 m/c's. IVF#3 = BFP, twins, induced at 34w6d due to baby b passing away (no explanation). Delivered on 35w1d, Baby A - baby girl, and Baby B - baby boy, our little angel.
    MTHFR A1298C & C677T, Immune Issues and Factor II
  • Totally a crappy day. Big hugs on your AMH and stupid fertile 20 yrs olds. It makes me want to throw crap...

    TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
    DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
    5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
    OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
    DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
    DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
    CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
    DE IVF #3 1/14  ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d

    DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
    First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!

    K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days

    imageimage

    SAIF/PAIF Welcome


    http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com

  • Some days you just get slammed. Sorry that happened to you today Sad

    FUIF

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  • ((HUGS)) I'm so sorry Delta. 
    TTC 12/2009
    Me: 32 - Stage II Endo / DH: 36 - Low count and morphology (1%)
    IUIs 1-3 BFN, lap Dec. 2010, IUIs 4-6 BFN
    IVF w/ICSI #1 - ER 2/8: 24R 19M 9F ET 2/13 2-5 day blasts (no frosties) = BFP - b/g twins!
    E & C Born 10/19/2012
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Thanks ladies - it is so nice to know that I am not alone...not in the struggle I wouldn't wish IF on my worse enemy) but in having a support system here.  I just don't get it.  I feel like there are so many people having kids who are not worthy...I know that is wrong to say but that is how I feel right now.  I hate that IF makes me have days like this. 

    I've decided that I needed a mental health day today...and maybe tomorrow so I left work.  I'm going to the hair stylist and think I might get a funky hair cut - maybe shedding my hair will be a bit cathartic.  I am also treating myself to some carbs and a bottle of wine.,,,

    ...I hate IF days like this...

    TTC since 3/07. IVF#1 = canceled. IVF#2 = 0% fertilization. IVF#3 = BFN. IVF#4 = c/p.  
    Moving forward with Adoption 2017!
  • I'm sorry:< Huge hugs. I hope your day turns around. I agree that you should do something fun. And I hate fertile cousins. Thank GOD most of mine are way yonger so haven't had this happen.
    PAIF and SAIF Always Welcome!
    TTC since 2007
    6 IUIs, 3 IVFs, and 2 m/c :< PCOS, Blood Clotting Disorder & MFI
    IVF #2 Aug 2011 is a BFN:<
    IVF #3 March 2012 is a BFN
    Not sure what to do now. Sad and lost.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • imageDelta04:

    Thanks ladies - it is so nice to know that I am not alone...not in the struggle I wouldn't wish IF on my worse enemy) but in having a support system here.  I just don't get it.  I feel like there are so many people having kids who are not worthy...I know that is wrong to say but that is how I feel right now.  I hate that IF makes me have days like this. 

    I've decided that I needed a mental health day today...and maybe tomorrow so I left work.  I'm going to the hair stylist and think I might get a funky hair cut - maybe shedding my hair will be a bit cathartic.  I am also treating myself to some carbs and a bottle of wine.,,,

    ...I hate IF days like this...

    Sounds like a great plan.  Please post pics of your new do.  Hang in there.

    TTC #1 since October 2008. Dealing with MFI.
    IVF #1 w ICSI in July 2010 = BFN
    IVF #2.1 in Oct 2010 converted to IUI = BFN
    IVF #2.2 w ICSI in Dec 2010 = BFN
    Met with new RE in new city on 1/31/11.
    IVF #3 w ICSI in April 2011. HPT on 5/9 = BFP!
    Beta #1 on 5/10 (10dp5dt) = 99.4. Beta #2 on 5/12 = 284. First u/s on 5/26. = Fraternal TWINS!
    Twin boys born & lost on 8/16/11 at 18w1d due to PPROM & preterm labor.
    IVF #4.1 in Jan 2012 converted to IUI on 1/7/12 = BFN
    IVF #4.2 w ICSI in Feb 2012. Lupron on 2/10. Stims on 2/18. ER on 2/29- 7R,6F
    ET scheduled for 3/5/12- nothing to transfer :(
    Dh seeing new MFI uro & Dh starting meds- June 2012.
    IVF #5 in Dec 2012 = BFFN.
    IVF #6 planned for Spring 2013. Praying for our take home baby/ies.
    **P/SAIF and P/SAL always welcome!**

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • imageDelta04:

    Thanks ladies - it is so nice to know that I am not alone...not in the struggle I wouldn't wish IF on my worse enemy) but in having a support system here.  I just don't get it.  I feel like there are so many people having kids who are not worthy...I know that is wrong to say but that is how I feel right now.  I hate that IF makes me have days like this. 

    I've decided that I needed a mental health day today...and maybe tomorrow so I left work.  I'm going to the hair stylist and think I might get a funky hair cut - maybe shedding my hair will be a bit cathartic.  I am also treating myself to some carbs and a bottle of wine.,,,

    ...I hate IF days like this...

    I posted and didn't see your next post. I am glad you got to go home. And I alwasys feel like getting my hair cut makes me feel better. Have a good day.

    PAIF and SAIF Always Welcome!
    TTC since 2007
    6 IUIs, 3 IVFs, and 2 m/c :< PCOS, Blood Clotting Disorder & MFI
    IVF #2 Aug 2011 is a BFN:<
    IVF #3 March 2012 is a BFN
    Not sure what to do now. Sad and lost.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • i'm so sorry!  (((Hugs)))
    ::: Married June 2003:::
    TTC #1 since: Aug. 2008
    Me: 34, DOR, MTHFR-A1298C (heterozygous), decreased blood flow to uterus, Mild Endo
    DH: 38, Balanced translocation 5&10, unexplained MFI, normal SA and SCSA
    Tx History: IUI 1&2= BFN
    IVF# 1 W/ICSI= BFN
    IVF# 2: cancelled d/t no response
    IVF# 3= 1 egg retrieved=immature/not viable
    IVF# 4= c/p
    ***CCRM ODWU***
    Found DHs BT and Me-decreased blood flow to uterus
    Recommended DE IVF w/PGD, incorporate electro-acupuncture. Decided to cycle locally
    ***New RE***
    DE IVF# 1(cycle #6) w/pgd, (freeze all): 30R, 23M, 15F, slow/poor embryo development, 4 biopsied, 1 Normal "Norm"; DE IVF w/PGD, incorporate electro-acupuncture. 
    IVF# 6: (OE/DS) cancelled
    IVF# 7: (OE/DS) 1R, 1M, 1F, arrested day 5
    Plan-DE IVF# 2 (cycle #8): DE/DS in May 2015


    http://icanhazbabyz.blogspot.com/
    imageimage image 
  • (((HUGS)))

    I don't understand why it has to be so difficult.

    IVF #3 = Feb 2012
    beta#1 3/21 (14dp3dt)=413, beta#2 3/23 (16dp3dt)=785, u/s 4/11
    EDD 11/25/12
    **SAIFW** Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • (((hugs))) I am so sorry for the crappy news :(
    IUIs #1-3 (1x unmedicated, 2x Clomid) = 2 BFNs, 1 m/c at 7w3d
    IUIs #4-6 (injects) = 3 BFNs
    IVF #1 = BFN
    FET #1 = BFN
    FET #2 = BFN
    IVF #2 = BFP, b/g twins lost at 20w due to partial abruption/PPROM
    IVF #3 = c/p 5w2d
    Long-shot Clomid/Prednisone cycle before next IVF = BFP, our beautiful, healthy girl born 6/26/13!
    ~~
    TTC again March 2014
    FET #3 - May/June 2014
    -
    all embryos arrested before xfer - back to the drawing board...
    IVF #4 - July/August 2014 
    beta 1 (11dp3dt) 220, beta 2 (13dp3dt) 671, beta 3 (19dp3dt) 10762
  • ((((hugs))))  I am really sorry that you are dealing with all of this.  I hope that the RE has a plan that will work for you. 
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  • Oh, Delta, I'm sorry your day is crappy :(

    I find myself having more and more of those, and then I realize if we weren't struggling with IF, whatever it is would be a non-issue.  Sad.

    Hope tomorrow's a better day.

    MFI and (now) AMA
    IVF 1 April 2011 - Cancelled
    IVF 1.5 July 2011 - MC
    IVF 2 October 2011 - BFP!
    *Identical Twin Boys born June 2012*
    Here we go again...IVF 3 is underway!
  • ok so sorry delta. I hope your RE calls back soon and.that you can figure out next steps. ((((hugs))))
    ***SAIF & PAIF Welcome***

    TTC since November 2008; me - poor egg quality,hypothyroidism,missing beta 3 integrin;
    DH - some MFI;

    1 month clomid plus timing - BFN;
    3 months clomid + IUI - BFN BFN BFN

    IVF #1 Nov/Dec 2009 - BFP - c/p;
    IVF #2.1 Jan 2011 - Converted to IUI - BFN;
    IVF #2.2 March/April 2011 - ER 3/23/11: 12 retrieved, 8 mature, 3 fert-ET 3dt 3/26/11: 3 embies - BFN;
    IVF #3 May 2011 - ER 5/19/11: 20 retrieved, 10 mature, 9 fert-ET 5dt 5/24/11 3 embies - BFN;
    Switched RE's for IVF #4 (CCRM) Oct 2011 - Surprise BFP before starting IVF #4!
  • I am sorry Delta.  It is so exhausting, I swear I feel like I have aged 10 years.  I am sorry you are having a bad day.  We are here so vent away!!  I hope your weekend gets better!!
    I am AMA and all tests on H came back normal
    3 failed IVF with OE and 2 failed frozen DE cycles
    Last fresh hail mary DE cycle starting Feb 2013
    PAIF/SAIF always welcome
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