Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
LDQAM516
member
Re: What is expected at your LOs preschool...
They only expectation they have is to be fairly well potty trained.
I guess I didn't word my question properly.
At my sons preschool...they want to see him writing his name by Christmas...if he doesn't he will be considered behind. Just curious about stuff along those lines. He only goes twice a week for 3 hours.
This is exactly what I thought...We had our parent teacher conference yesterday and what I gathered from the whole thing is that he is behind with writing and knowing his letters. I was kind of shocked to hear her say they want to see him writing his name by Christmas! I, too, thought preschool was just to introduce all of this stuff to him and repeat at home...and then hit that hard in pre-k next year. Now Iam left all worried about my sons development because he can't write his name at 3 1/2. I know different schools have different standards...and he is just NOW becoming interested in this stuff...prior to preschool...there was no way I could get him to sit down and practice learning letters.
that all seems like a little much to me.
I would call around to other preschools in your area and see if they have similar expectations.
Thats what I thought...and that is why I wanted to ask on here what other people thought. I do know another local preschool does not teach them to write their names...I know this because I used to work there...unless things have changed since then. Like I said...I don't know if it being a private school makes the difference.
our DD is at a private school and they do work on writing starting in the 4s class (she's in 3s now) but I don't think there's an expectation that a LO would be "behind" if he doesn't do something by Christmas. That seems silly and arbitrary. I'd be truly disappointed if a school was actually "evaluating" a child that young. I would expect a kid at 4 to be able to hold a pencil/crayon and write in a line, circle, etc. and certainly some can write their name, but not all and it shouldn't be a deficiency if they can't at that age.
Honestly, I have no idea if the teacher has set specific "goals" for each kid or what they are. I hope to find out more at parent teacher conferences next month. I do know that since starting in August, DS's writing has improved and he is more interested in pre-reading (letter sounds, etc.). He can write his name and other words (if told what letters to write), but I have no idea if they are expected to do this. I do know that they work with each student at his own pace and just want to see improvement over time. So if a kid comes in with no writing skills, as long as he develops some skills in the right direction, they consider that good.
But like pps, the majority of this first year is about social and emotional skills.
That is not how my daughter's school works at all, but she is in Montessori, where they encourage kids to learn at their own pace. She is only expected to be potty trained and to be able to put on her own shoes. They are working on 'pre-writing/reading' work right now, which consists of learning the alphabet by the sound each letter makes and making a book with photos that start with each letter (and a place to trace the letters). Her teacher told us that she would more than likely be able to write and/or read by the end of the school year but that it wasn't expected.
I cannot believe they would expect that of a three year old, especially when he is going part-time. I would not be comfortable with that at all.
All the preschools around here are private pretty much (one public option) and only a few of the very "academic" focused ones would require writing on a timeframe like that. I personally would not send my child to a school where they would be deciding she was "behind" on something so arbitrary. I prefer a play-based curriculum for preschool (3 and 4 year olds).
Depends on the age. In the 3 y.o. class, they start learning numbers, shapes and colors. They aren't expected to know any of it prior to starting school. They don't learn letters (writing or recognition) until the 4 y.o. class.
My girls' preschool is very "learn through play" oriented though.
That sounds really off to me. A three year old to write their name? I would also not be comfortable with this level of expectation and probably start exploring other options if you can.
My DS's school does not have these sort of expectations although he is in a montessori school. The class consists of 2 1/2 - 6 year olds, so some are writing their names and some are not.
Really? I think that is still perfectly normal for a 3 y.o. to have speech issues. I thought the age to start worrying about that was closer to 5 or 6.
Thank you for all your input...it solidifies that Iam not crazy for thinking the way Iam. Unfortunately, we live literally in the middle of nowhere so this private school really is the only school around we want to send our children to. Iam just not going to force him to do anything I do not feel he is ready for yet...and if that is an issue with the teacher...then there will be an issue with us.
And to the PP about his language...I thought the exact same thing...family and friends seem to think that is a bit early as well. The teacher just said they want to catch anything before it becomes a habit...but in my mind...he is still figuring out his language so he has a ways to go before anything is a habit.
My husband and I both agree it is ridiculous to put a strict timeline on a child so young.
At DD's preschool they teach #s, letters, colors, shapes, days of week, months of year....Spanish, etc, etc. But no child is EXPECTED to learn them by a certain time. Each child learns differently, especially at this age.
I guess goals are important, but strict goals like that are a bit much at 3 y.o. IMO.
You and your husband are in the right frame of mind and that teacher is a bit crazy. It sounds to me like they are trying to push themselves and the kids in order to be a selling point (which strikes me as odd "in the middle of nowhere" since it seems to a more competitive thing). DS is in private preschool and while he is learning his letters, there are kids there from 3-5 so she shapes the lessons to eat child. Right now he's mostly working on tracing and signing his ABC's (or so it seems to me from what he brings home, tells us).
The speech thing is downright crazy! Articulation is not considered an issue until they are 6! No ST worth their salt would work with a 3 year old on articulation "issues".
DD's preschool last year introduced a new letter each week and had them do craft projects and show & tell related to each letter, but they didn't emphasize writing - at some point near the end of the year they helped DD write her name on something she brought home, but they weren't working on it regularly with her. She started writing the letter A in the spring, but I don't know if that's because it's the first letter of the alphabet, the first letter of her name, or both. I know they did help kids in the four-year-old class write their names.
This year DD is in a new preschool (we moved) and is learning to write her name - she doesn't have all the letters down yet but she's pretty close. The kids trace over their name every day when they start school. I expect she'll have it down in a few weeks, but I'm sure she wouldn't be considered "behind" if she didn't. Her teacher specifically told us that she works on pre-literacy skills but doesn't push them to read or write before they're ready.