Really tired of people's opinions!!!!

few · October 2011

I rarely post, but just need to vent! I am currently pregnant with my second child. With the first I delivered at 30 wks 6 days. I did it completely med free, which is what I wanted!! My little guy was 4lbs 3oz. I had him after working a 12hr shift (nurse) then having them try to stop labor from 8am-4pm, before their efforts didn't work & he came anyways. I honestly have no idea how long I was in labor. I went into the hospital on Wed night with "cramps", was told I had a UTI, & cramping was normal. They never did an internal, but I was having some very irregular contractions on the monitor. After working that Thurs night I went back to L&D, they checked me & I was 8cm dilated & 50% effaced. That is when efforts to stop labor began. My water did not break until right before I started pushing. The Dr. was just about to manually break it. Anyway, now that #2 is on the way, I want to go natural again. I have seen epidurals placed & seen bad outcomes from epidurals & I just don't want one! Everyone keeps telling me "well this one is going to be a lot bigger" or "you are going to begging for that epidural" or "why would you even want to do it without an epidural", etc. I am starting to doubt myself a little, because I realize this baby will be bigger & labor may be completely different. Other than the fact that my last delivery was way too early, it went great. It did hurt, but it was not unbearable. & after delivery, I was walking to NICU to see my son! Sorry this is so long ambling. I worked last night & am sleepy. I just needed to share with someone who might understand! & hopefully hear some words of encouragement from someone who has been there! Thanks

julesjarvais65 · October 2011

I completely agree. I just replied on one of my posts how frustrated I have been. Why not go with an epidural? Well why not fricken go without one? I just wanna be like suck it up and try it at least. If you honestly can't handle it, get it, its YOUR body, YOUR decision. But its MY body, MY decision, quit trying to talk me into something just because you went that route or are planning on going that route. Thanks. Sorry I guess I just vented on your vent. Lol

If I were you I would try it, you can always change your mind. Go in there with the mindset that you aren't going to get it. Don't listen to everyone else if thats what you wanna do.

julesjarvais65 · October 2011

I just realized how much the first paragraph may have seemed to be veered to you. Sorry, all of that first paragraph is what I am ready to say to the people that try to talk to me into getting the epi.

Irisheyes1247 · October 2011

I would think that the contrax/transition would be the more difficult part of labor and you've already done it, plus it is generally the part that lasts longer. Haters gonna hate, right? Stick out tongue

few · October 2011

I totally understand what you are saying. I def. be going in prepared for the natural delivery that I want. I am so sick of people trying to convince me that it is impossible. This will be my second child! I did it the first time! Yet friends/coworkers act like I have no idea what I am in for! So frustrating

curlywhirly · October 2011

Just smile and nod when people give their unsolicited opinions. You get to make the decisions about your birth. If you get into it and decide it's different enough that you want an epidural, then make that decision and don't feel bad about or let other people make you feel bad about it later!

Good luck!

haleymay18 · October 2011

Maybe when you tell people that you aren't getting an epidural BECAUSE you didn't need one last time they don't realize that you are fully aware of just how different it is going to be. You do realize that, right? If I were you, I would just say that you aren't planning the epidural because you are studying {insert method} or you have hired a doula and are working hard towards towards pain mgmt techniques, etc. Or whatever other reason you are going to decline the epidural.

I am sure that people aren't trying to discount your labor as not being painful (and let's face it, I am sure you had a very emotional labor that isn't comparable to full term baby labor because it was probably confusing & traumatic ) but perhaps people do think that is going to be a different experience all together & are just trying to give you that insight.

With that said, a lot of people shouldn't ask if all they are looking to do is tear down your reasoning for your potential choices.

laceyl09 · October 2011

Ya know; Kudos to you that you actually are wanting to do it without an epidural! I didn't want an epidural with my first child, but I was too much of a chicken to turn it down! I want to try this pregnancy without one, but I just have a feeling that I wouldn't decline the offer

I think if you want to do it without an epidural again then go for it. You'd definately be my hero haha! Plus you never really know how bad it hurts until you actually do it. Either way its for a good cause. Hurting or not your not even going to care once the beautiful blessing is in your arms. People say childbirth is horrible and they never want to expierence it. But us mothers know that its something we would do again for a baby we love! If you don't get the epidural let us all know how it was! Please?

Good Luck!

Mamasaurus · October 2011

Usually after I get the "why would you want to feel it when you try to push a watermelon out of a pepsi bottle, there's no way you can do it" comments, I just say, "We'll see...."

Personally I think all the nay-sayers are just going to make going natural even better, because we get to prove them wrong. : )

eee8879 · October 2011

I wouldn't bother telling people your birth plan if they are going to give you unsolicited advice. I went through that with my first and even my mother kept tell ing me i was crazy. If more women had the support they needed then there would be a lot more natural / non intervention type births. My recovery was super fast after my delivery- had him at around 35 weeks. I am planning unmedicated and possible home birth as long as this one stays put and goes to term! hugs to you and don't pay attention. Birth is a wonderful empowering experience and my hope is that more women start trusting themselves and their bodies to have such experience!

eee8879 · October 2011

I also forgot to say that regardless of size of baby labor is labor and it is hard work so whether the baby is 4 lbs or 8 lbs you should be proud you went natural. my baby was 5 lbs 4 oz and it was still work! you can do it !!

KateLouise · October 2011

My friend had her first baby with an epi (had to be induced, pre-e etc etc) He was 6 1/2 pounds.

Second baby was 10 pounds and she had no interventions or epi. She was shocked at how "easy" it was.

Anecdotally I've heard lots of people say bigger babies are easier to birth. Now maybe they tell this to Mums of big babies to make them feel better, but it's something I hear time and time again.

My girl was 9 pounds, I had no problems.

Good luck and ignore the nay-sayers. I agree with pp that transition is the hardest, and the size of your baby won't affect that.

MrsAB1316 · October 2011

Hi Ladies! I just lurk here, as I'm not even pregnant yet. However, when I do have babies, I plan on going med free. I have the same issues with the people that I discuss it with. They are all so hell bent on convincing me that I can't do it and that I'll beg for the drugs. Perhaps they are right. Maybe I will be a big wienie and ask for an epi. Maybe I'll have to have a C-section for whatever reason...but I PLAN on a med free natural birth. I am also not so naive as to assume that what I plan for will be the way things pan out. But, it would be nice if there were more encouraging comments and not so many people thinking that I can't do what my body is built to do.

They say "that's why they invented drugs." To that, I say, "drugs are why so many babies have to be delivered by c-section." But, as far as pain goes...I've dealt with some major pain in my life. I had a pot of flaming (literally,...on fire) grease spilled on my head when I was 18. For a week I had to endure burn therapy that involved scraping all of the burned skin off of my neck, back and scalp. That hurt like nobody's business, but if I can handle that then surely I can handle childbirth.

Sorry for jumping in but I feel your pain, girl. People suck sometimes. Sad

jesselynn08 · October 2011

Oh, geez. People and their opinions, huh? People think I am ridiculous for wanting to go all natural and have an at home birth. Sorry, but women have been doing this for thousands of years. I think we can handle it. God made us to!

Way to stick to your guns!

dutchess546 · October 2011

I get it ALL the time! i get the Its you first child, why do you want to do it drug free? Your crazy for doing it that way? i just dont understand why you want to do that...

My response... My Vagina, My decision. i have found that when you start throwing out the "uncomfortable" words, people tend to stop asking questions or change the subject. i figure if they would like to tell me what i would like to do with my vagina and my baby & my delivery... then please, go for it. i then follow it up with how female bodies were ment to give birth, they were ment to have babies... so why not give my body the chance to do what it was meant to do... and do it with out being pumped full of drugs. I will be open to an epidural, if its needed... but my mind set going in is to delivery Bradly and drug free.

Buble of peace is what my best friend says... and she is has done 2 home water births & that is what she has had to do. put up the bubble of peace. lol

nursecramer · October 2011

Stop sharing your plans with people. If they ask, just say "I haven't thought about it" or "I'm not decided." Don't give them something to argue about and they won't be able to engage.

soon2bjmn · October 2011

Bubble of Peace, ya'll. Bubble of Peace.

greenbridetobe · October 2011

I have not talked to people about my birth plan outside my DH and OB of course. My DH is an only child and his mom says she can't imagine people willing having more then one child. She was close to 85 pounds when she got pregnant with DH and he was a long hard labor. I have truly enjoyed this pregnancy even with horrible morning sickness at the beginning and bed rest for 5 weeks. I feel it is worth it and I want a healthy baby. DH had told FIL that I have liked being pregnant even though I have moments when I complain about discomfort. FIL just told me to wait as it wasn't over yet. I'm sorry pregnancy is months long, labor hours long. Joys about labor is that you know it ends and the bundle of joy you have waited so long to hold has arrived. How you labor is up to you, you know your body. Hang tough ladies.

walkntrees · October 2011

I also had a baby early my first time and didnt even need to push!! I call him my slippery slid baby! The next time, my baby was 1 and a half pounds bigger. I really had a hard time pushing at first, but i did it! I am really scared of the epidurals and want to be up and taking care a baby right away. I wont be having one with this baby either.

We are stronger than we think we are. It will soon be a great birth story and all you will remember is the wonderful parts. Stay true to yourself.

LittleStace · October 2011

You're definitely not alone in this regard! I get criticized all the time about going med-free/natural, as if I hadn't thought about how much it might hurt. Sometimes I say "natural" and then get criticized about not being prepared for possible complications. How does "no epidural" = putting my baby at risk or not being prepared? Sigh. Very frustrating to deal with people who don't share the same mindset. I sometimes feel sorry for those who think they can't get through childbirth without all sorts of drugs and interventions because I think they don't have enough confidence in themselves and their bodies.

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