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XP: Long DC vent, "holier-than-thou" DCP
So, this one teacher at DC is a know-it-all, we'll call her Ms. C. She is 25 and has no children of her own but thinks she knows more than the parents (I only mention age b/c it's not like she has 20 years of professional childcare experience). I've heard her talk to the other teachers about some parents/children - i.e. this person needs to get rid of the binky, this parent needs to start cereal. She's very opinionated. I've personally had a couple of run-ins with her over the years about my kids and what I do vs. her opinion. Earlier this year, we had a conflict over her not getting invited to my younger son's 1st birthday party and I went to the director b/c there were racial accusations for that one.
So this morning, MH got the boys dressed and my 3yo refused to wear anything other than pajamas (though he had sneakers on). He is a "spirited" child and clothing is a battle we've agreed not to fight, because there are so many others. LOL We get to school today and Ms. C. notices the pj's so I say jokingly "he refused to wear regular clothes today, what are you gonna do?" She looks at me, then him and snidely says "Refused? S, are you the parent now?" So I said she knows he can be tough, and we just didn't want to fight the battle this morning. To which she replies, very condescendingly, "I would have been able to get him dressed." I just again said something about not picking the battle and left. I was so angry. It's one thing if you want to give me CONSTRUCTIVE advice, but not just insinuate I'm a parenting failure. Especially over something as silly as clothing.
I'm afraid if I confront her, it will turn ugly so I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to let it go though b/c I'm sick of it, I'm sick of her holier-than-thou attitude. Any thoughts?
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Re: XP: Long DC vent, "holier-than-thou" DCP
Personally, I would just let it go. Who cares what she thinks (as long as she is not your child teacher).
If it really bothers you, go to the director and tell him/her she is making you uncomfortable and you would prefer if she kept her opinions to herself in the future.
FWIW, I am sure you are not the first person to be bothered by her and I am surprised she is still working there with that attitude...and I would say as much to the director.
Unless the DC has some sort of rule against pajamas (which I doubt they do), then I would tell the director. It's just not appropriate for her to say that. What if she worked at Target and was putting you down for what you were purchasing? ("Oh, you let DC buy CANDY?! Who's the parent??) That would be totally inappropriate and a manager would be informed. I expect more from a private day care center. The employees should have a level of tact and customer service. Maybe I just feel that way since I'm paying them an arm and a leg.
Out of line-I'd tell the director.
I guess she's never had a day where she wished she could stay in her pjs.
I would talk to the director. I'm probably the most involved parent at my daycare (unfortunately) and if I've had issues with someone usually I handle it direct. There has been a time or 2 in 3 years that I've just skipped the person and gone to the director or room lead. Typically if it's a safety thing or a 'get her to back the eff off' thing.
I had one lady who filled in at daycare for a short period of time giving me all kinds of advice. She was a grandma and 'knew everything' but her advice was not correct and the manner she gave it was not appreciated. I was firm with her a few times that I was the parent here and it was my choice to do xyz. When she kept pushing I went the the director and mentioned her staff might want to get refresher training as Staffer A was giving 30 year old advice.
Oh, and my kid went to daycare in PJs yesterday. Was NOT worth the fight.
I would find that extremely irritating. If it happened once or twice, I'd let it go. If it continued, I'd politely bring it up with the teacher. If it continued after that, I would hate to do it, but I'd go to the director. Good luck - it sounds like an uncomfortable situation no matter what you choose.
Being married to a Black man who has numerous relatives with small children, and having several Black friends who also have small children, I can assure you that the bolded portion is not true. Decent parents, which are found in EVERY race, take their children's health very seriously. That claim is derogatory towards Black people for zillions of obvious reasons.
That idiot statement alone warrants reporting to her boss, her boss's boss, etc, etc, on up the chain, both for its racism and for her blatant disrespect for your parental authority/autonomy.
What I'm wondering is why you continue to keep your children in the care of a woman who makes accusations against you that you're a racist?
...no thanks to my PCOS (Dx 2006,though should've been dx during maybe the Clinton years).
P/SAIF always welcome, especially if you share your sticky baby dust! **Looking to buy some gently used, one size Fuzzibunz. PM/Page me if you're selling. Thanks!**
It was only one accusation of racism, which was so absurd that after I reported it to the director, I dropped it. Since then, she has not made any more racially offensive comments to me. She is one of eight teachers there and neither of my boys has her as their primary teacher. Since I adore the others, I've admittedly put up with her overall attitude for too long.
I would send him to daycare in PJ's everyday and hand this *** a bag with his clothes in it and tell her she can do it since her child dressing skills are so superior.