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LGBT Parenting
(rant) I Dislike Halloween...
...there, I said it! With this said, I have been having an internal battle with myself about our Kiddos having outfits for their "Character Parade" at school. Deep down I know that everyone involved feels like it is a chance to let their little ones show off their cuteness in their halloween costumes. How do I know this? There was sarcasm at the parent's meeting because the event has to be called a "Character" Parade to be sensitive to all families. I for one, applaud the sensitivity; it has been the only thing helping me justify dressing our Kiddos up next week.
HOWEVER, there is that (rather large) piece of me that remembers being a little girl and the fun I had trick or treating (though I didn't like being scared). I had a GREAT time going out with friends and laughing...I would have never wanted to feel like and outsider and somehow "different."
NOW, here I am with a different feel about Halloween and have two Kiddos that I adore and want them to have memorable childhoods. I don't want them saying that Mama never let us do this or Mama never let us do that. But then again...I also want them to honor their belief system.
ARGH!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: (rant) I Dislike Halloween...
I guess it comes down to how crucial it is to you. I have vegetarian friends who are introducing their 1-year-old to meat in the hopes that he won't have a problem digesting it later when he's at school, out with friends, etc. and may choose to have a hot dog or whatever. They don't want him to feel different and have to explain to adults or other kids that he doesn't have meat, unless he wants to. They will be happy if he chooses to be a vegetarian when he gets older, but they see it as his choice.
I think of Halloween as a secular, just-for-fun holiday for nearly everyone, so I am curious as to how to goes against your beliefs, if you feel comfortable sharing that?
Decisions are so complex these days. DW and I have pretty different perspectives on most things, except for the big stuff. Smaller decisions are a process in this house. And now we also take DS's perspective into account. It gets frustrating and long winded.....What I'm getting at here is that I understand your frustration.
Remind me again about your thoughts on Halloween. Religiously based conflicts?
On the religious note it would only be for the fact that some people like to toy with witchcraft on that day...I remember having to house my black labrador one halloween because the police warned of certain breeds of dogs being sought out for sacrifice. (My belief) dabbling with stuff like that opens a door that should not be opened. (There is a little bit more, but I will save that for a religious rant...LOL!)
On a cultural note. In my culture, Dia de los Muertos (Nov 1-2) which some see as analogous to Halloween is a celebration of the dead, not a fear of the dead (as I feel Halloween is). It is a time to share food, stories, visit the cemetary, and honor those who have passed. There are treats, parties, and visiting with friends and family. It is in conjunction with All Saints Day and All Souls Day.
This thing about goblins, ghouls, zombies and FEAR...I don't get.
Personally I see Halloween as a fun, completely secular holiday. I don't really see it as about fear, and if anything I would say the theme of Halloween is about a healthy triumph over some fears. But mostly I see candy and costumes and silliness.
However, you have to stick with your beliefs if they're important to you.
There is no one thing that defines an enjoyable childhood. Even if Halloween is off-limits for you, you will provide your kids tons of different happy childhood memories.
I remember a girl I went to high school with who was on student council. Dancing was against her family's religious beliefs, so even though she helped plan school dances she didn't participate. I'm sure it was hard for her at times, but at least when we graduated high school she was still quite committed to her religion.
IVF Oct/Nov 2012
Beta #1 = 77, Beta #2 = 190, Beta #3 = 1044
Cautiously optimistic.
Curiosity, would you happen to know if she wanted to be allowed to dance?
I ask because I don't want to keep my Kiddos from enjoying things that 99 percent of other kids are enjoying. Don't get me wrong (and I hope I don't offend anyone) we plan to raise our Kiddos in a Christian household (however, not a God-fearing household). Does that come with some limitations? I am sure it does. However, I want to make sure that when they get older it is okay to disagree with us (at some level
).
Their are so many "Christians" that would be appalled at the fact that I received my best Bible study with a friend who was a Jehovah's Witness. However, did I commit my life to being a Jehovah's Witness? No. There were things I totally did not agree with...she and I agreed not to discuss those topics. Deep down I would want my Kiddos to believe as I do, but I don't want to limit them nor do I want to be so strict that I am the reason they need therapy in their older years
.
I guess I am just having a conflicted day. (I hadn't been at work Monday and Tuesday and today I walked into my branch's area and it has been decorated for Halloween. (More than they decorate for Thanksgiving/Christmas.))
As someone who was never allowed to participate in the whole trick-or-treating tradition, I have to say it sucked growing up. Every year my friends and classmates would talk about what they were going to "be", what they were planning to do, etc, and I always felt so left out. But also I didn't know what to say when my friends asked me about it, because my parents never told me why we weren't allowed to participate in Halloween (at least not that I can remember), so I'd always have to just shrug and say "I dunno, my parents just don't let me." I would think that if we kept our kids from participating, we'd make sure they knew why and would also let them make their own decision about participating or not when they were old enough.
All that said, I think that letting them dress up and participate in a "character parade" is harmless enough. We aren't sanctioning all of the activities of everyone everywhere on Halloween by allowing them to dress up with their classmates.
And all that said, if you want to reconsider letting them dress up, I am happy to chat with you about that.
IUI #3 gave us the best 2nd anniv. gift ever: 2 babies! (born 03/09/10)
Peanut and Little Man are getting so big! 2 years old already!
finally blogging again at This Will Be: An Adventure
I obviously don't want to get between you two figuring out what is right for your family. It's really hard to know what's right!.
The girl I knew from high school knew what her family believed and why and I think it was imortant to her too so she was okay with it. But we were teenagers - that's a lot to expect of even teenagers, let alone younger kids.
IVF Oct/Nov 2012
Beta #1 = 77, Beta #2 = 190, Beta #3 = 1044
Cautiously optimistic.
I think I caught C off guard, but with the flashing lights and the orange and black surrounding me I just had to say something.
I remember one time at my niece's 11th birthday party I put icing on her nose to be funny. She ran off crying...I had totally embarassed her in front of her friends. Oh the things to look forward to.
I know this is between you and C and you didn't ask for my opinion, but...
To me, Halloween is as much about orange and black decorations, dressing up, and trick or treating as Christmas trees, Santa, and stockings are to the actual meaning of Christmas (the birth of Christ) or Easter Bunnies, chocolate eggs, and egg hunts are to the actual meaning of Easter (resurection of Christ.) The decorations and celebrations are just social and cultural conctructs we have devloped to commemorate the holiday - but aren't really about the true meaning of the day.
The true celebration of Christmas and Easter is celebrating in church singing hymns, praying, and celebrating the event with family/friends. It isn't in the Christmas decorations, getting presents, or hunting for eggs. And dressing up, decorating with orange and black, and knocking on doors so people give you candy isn't celebrating what was originally the true meaning of Halloween.
Just another thought.
2brides--point well taken. Now you have me thinking outside my well-crafted box.
I think how you and your family chooses to celebrate (or not) Halloween is YOUR choice! That being said, I think it is completely possible to participate in the parts of Halloween that are not creepy/scary. I hate creepy scary. I was always a bumble bee, a baby, an angel, a mouse, etc. for Halloween. As your children grow you can explain why they cannot be a zombie/monster/etc. and why it is important for your family to respect the dead on the next day.
I grew up in a Christian household and Halloween was always a fun time to carve a pumpkin, get dressed up, and spend time with friends. There was no creepy/scary involved. I know a lot of churches have "harvest festivals." Is there one in your area?
That's a thought, I should check the Methodist Church by the house. Your post made me remember that when I was in my late teens/early twenties I would take my nieces and nephews to my Mom's Catholic Church (their Catholic school) for a fair. Not everyone wore costumes, but there were really fun games for all ages. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...........
Thanks!