I spend a lot of time feeling guilty — The Bump
Stay at Home Moms

I spend a lot of time feeling guilty

I feel guilty that I get to stay at home with our son and my husband works.  My husband never says or does anything to make me feel this way.  It is just a feeling I cannot shake.  I feel like getting to stay home with my son is getting to hang out with an awesome little friend all day.  Meanwhile my husband is going crazy at work and often doesn't come home until our son is asleep.  To boot my husband just let me sign up for a very expensive gym because they have the most incredible gym daycare I have ever seen.  I just feel like I can never do enough at home to make up for how hard my husband works.
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Re: I spend a lot of time feeling guilty

  • I think the best advice in this instance is to make sure your husband knows how much he is appreciated.  I'm currently on bed rest, and I feel really guilty that dh is having to work, come home and take care of ds completely, and do anything cleaning/cooking related that I cannot do.  The best I can do is to let him know how much it means to me that he does this without complaint.
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  • Husbands really are amazing aren't they :) I feel like I am thanking DH constantly for how hard he works!

    I just try to make his time at home as great as possible by doing little things (on top of cleaning/etc).. if he comes home complaining/upset about work I want him to get it out of his brain. Let him watch football, make cookies, plan random dinners out to thank him. 

    FWIW - you're job is hard too! Yes you get to spend all day with your amazing LO, but it's not always easy! I know DH wouldn't want to do it day in and day out - he enjoys providing for us
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    evelyn 4.2010 | will 1.2012 | baby BOY due 12.2014
    pregnant and/or breastfeeding since 2009.

  • You know what you should do....Have another baby! Then you will be going crazy at home while he goes crazy at work and you will definitely feel like you are working. :-) I'm kinda joking, kinda serious. My DH works really hard but I don't feel guilty because the past two years have been insane for me.
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  • image hellopoppyseed:
    You know what you should do....Have another baby! Then you will be going crazy at home while he goes crazy at work and you will definitely feel like you are working. :-) I'm kinda joking, kinda serious. My DH works really hard but I don't feel guilty because the past two years have been insane for me.

    I do think that once we have a second a lot of my guilt will go away  :)  I can honestly say that I didn't feel nearly as much guilt when I was getting up 4 times a night to have my nipples chewed off by a three week old. 

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  • Do you think he'd be happier if you were working with the kids in daycare?  Probably not.  I know with my DH, he said his stress level would be worse if anyone other than me were watching our kids during the day.

    My DH also has a high stress job, and I also feel guilty sometimes, but I know that my working wouldn't help.  So I do my best to make sure I'm holding up my end at home, and I also let him know how much I appreciate him.

    SAHM to DD1 (7), DS (5) and DD2 (1)
  • not to be snarky but ... give it some time.

    Glad you are enjoying yourself though. That is how it should be!

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  • I feel exactly the same way sometimes, but then I think DH would be even more stressed out if he came home from his crazy stressful job and had to do more to help out around the house. I make sure he knows how much I appreciate him as often as I can.
    BFP#1 7/09 DS born 3/30/10 BFP#2 5/11 M/C 6/11 BFP#3 9/11 M/C 10/11 BFP #4 5/20/12 Pregnancy Ticker
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