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Postpartum Depression
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Intro and opinions requested...

walkercpawalkercpa
in Postpartum Depression
Hi all, I have a baby who is almost 7 months now. I have had a lot of difficulty adjusting to being a mom and the bottom line is that I really don't like it. There are some moments of cuteness and some things that I do like, but in balance it just isn't worth it. I really wish that I could go back in time and decide to not get pregnant. Now, with that said, I do try my best to be a good mother; I know my son didn't ask to be born and I want him to have a happy childhood even if I am miserable. I used to talk about how I feel to DH but he got sick of me so now I put on my happy face with him too. I don't know if what I'm feeling is PPD, or just regret at having made the wrong decision. I know I have to suck it up and try to make the best of things. I don't think that therapy would help me b/c there isn't really anything I can do to change the circumstances of my life that I don't like. I don't want to take medication b/c I BF and don't want to take the risk of it damaging my son. Maybe that would be an option after I wean. I don't really know where I'm going with this...I guess I just want to know if anyone else feels this way and what if any suggestions/coping strategies you all have.
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Re: Intro and opinions requested...

  • katbrian052108katbrian052108 member

    I'm sorry that my siggy is outdated, I gave birth to my son in july and the ladies from my board created a facebook group which is why i'm not updated here...

    I also suffer from PPD and you don't have to feel like this. I was terrified to admit to my husband and OB that I was feeling totally disconnected from my baby and having intrusive thoughts. I was scared that they would take him away from me. I was so ashamed that I felt this way about my precious baby and my wonderful supportive husband.  I knew I would NEVER hurt him but I also knew what I was feeling was not normal. Well the day that I told my DH and we made an appointment with the ob i started to feel better. After the ob appt I felt better talking about it, and after a few weeks of meds I am enjoying my son and my family more than I ever thought possible, I absolutely adore him. PPD is an illness, a disease, it is nothing to be ashamed of.  Please seek help, you deserve to be happy and so does your precious baby. It will get better. If you need to chat please PM me. I plan on being more active on the bump boards and updating my siggy. Thank god i'm not 55 weeks pregnant.

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  • ksspiffksspiff member

    I agree with PP, motherhood doesn't have to feel like that!  I, too, suggest you look into PPD and talking to your OB or other doctor.  There are many drugs you can go on that are safe for breastfeeding.

    It's like PPD puts a coat of dissapointment and sadness on the 'new normal' that is having a child.  If we can get treatment for the PPD, the dirt gets cleared away and we can realize how great it really is.

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  • EVA116EVA116 member
    I felt exactly how you did, and sometimes I still have bad days where I feel like that. I would just tell my mom that I didn't want my DD and I wished I could go back in time. I would ask her what was so great about being a mom and she would say that I would see in time. She was right. I am on medication and I do enjoy my DD so much. You have PPD and need some help. I promise it will get better. We may never be the "being-a-mom-is-the-best-thing-ever" people but we can be happy and adore our children.

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  • daisygirl2010daisygirl2010

    imagevickycat:
    I felt exactly how you did, and sometimes I still have bad days where I feel like that. I would just tell my mom that I didn't want my DD and I wished I could go back in time. I would ask her what was so great about being a mom and she would say that I would see in time. She was right. I am on medication and I do enjoy my DD so much. You have PPD and need some help. I promise it will get better. We may never be the "being-a-mom-is-the-best-thing-ever" people but we can be happy and adore our children.

    I'm so happy to see other people that feel this way.  Makes me feel like an awful mother - but good to know I'm not alone.  Maybe I do need to see my OB about this.  Someone asked me yesterday - "Do you love being a Mom?" and I couldn't honestly answer yes.  It shook me to my core.  Like of COURSE I should love it.  But just because I don't love the "Mom" life, doesn't mean I don't love my DD with every ounce of myself.  I think that's hard for some people to understand.

     

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  • ksspiffksspiff member

    imagedaisygirl2010:
      But just because I don't love the "Mom" life, doesn't mean I don't love my DD with every ounce of myself.  I think that's hard for some people to understand.

    You've got it right here!  And some people will never understand, no matter how many times you explain it to them (if you are even that patient...)

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  • Mrs.HoneybearMrs.Honeybear
    imageksspiff:

    imagedaisygirl2010:
      But just because I don't love the "Mom" life, doesn't mean I don't love my DD with every ounce of myself.  I think that's hard for some people to understand.

    You've got it right here!  And some people will never understand, no matter how many times you explain it to them (if you are even that patient...)

     

    i think MOST people will never understand. :(

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