Baby #2 ?

Cheeb · October 2011

My husband and I are thinking about having more LOs but don't really know how to work the timing. I have noticed that a lot of closed friends have started getting pregnant when their 1st LO reached the age of 9 months or so. Just wondering what you ladies think about this? To have a second baby before baby reaches 1 or older or to not have a baby?

mhaas28 · October 2011

The plan is to wait until my son is a least 18 months to start again. This will be torture since I am already wanting another one! I will have to look at the bright side... 1 more year!

Spin313 · October 2011

My kids are a week shy of being 3 years apart, and I think that's a fantastic age gap. DS is old enough to be helpful and independent. I couldn't imagine having two kids any less than 2 years apart.

shaindelr · October 2011

It took me 4 years of accrued sick leave to have a decent maternity leave at 100% pay, and right now, Jared (my guy) is a SAHD/working part-time dad, and I know I couldn't afford to be the sole breadwinner with two LO's anytime soon.

We're waiting 3 or 4 years before TTC again. My parents had all of us about four years apart (four of us total), and I think it was good spacing. No one was too close in age that they felt they didn't get to be a "baby," etc.

LynsiBHM · October 2011

For my own sanity and for my shopping budget, i don't want 2 in diapers. I plan to wait until P starts potty training to try for #2. 2-3 years is a good gap for me. My brother and I are 3.5 yrs apart and that's probably the longeset id want to go.

Cheeb · October 2011

Thanks for the responses! Maybe a first one out of diapers before trying for number 2 is a realistic goal. For some reason I keep on having that "I WANT ANOTHER BABY" feeling so this might help to calm that for a while.

vanfox · October 2011

Spin313:
My kids are a week shy of being 3 years apart, and I think that's a fantastic age gap. DS is old enough to be helpful and independent. I couldn't imagine having two kids any less than 2 years apart.

I'm glad you said this! It makes me feel better because I think 2.5-3 years is the gap I want to shoot for but a lot of people (IRL, not here) are already making me feel like that might be too long.

ErinInVA · October 2011

We just started 'trying' again for the next one. We have two older (almost 11 & 8 from my husbands first marriage) and ours who are 2.5 and 7 months (today!) Our Littles age gap isn't too bad, but since we don't want our oldest, the 11 year old, to be too far apart in age from our baby, we wanted to try again and we want our youngest 3 to be close in age. Hopefully it happens sooner than later. I'm a bridesmaid in a wedding in June, so I either need to be obviously pregnant or not for dress fitting purposes. : )

I am a home child care provider and have 5 children ages four an under in my care, so the little ones are just another day at work for me. : )

normajeane6126 · October 2011

SO wants to start trying when DS is 2 or so. I go back and forth between wanting to try immediately and not wanting another one at all. My surprise BFP when DS was 3 months old and the loss shortly thereafter has really messed with my head.

PunkyBooster · October 2011

My own personal response? Fvck no.

But it totally depends on the parents! Finances, desire, etc etc.

GL deciding!

hmontty · October 2011

We're currently in the two-week wait, but I find myself hoping I'm not...I realized this week that I'm not quite ready. Maybe in another 3 or 6 months.

kendra223 · October 2011

We are so on the fence about baby #2. We still don't know. We don't want to wait too long though/don't want them to be too far apart in age. Maybe we will wait til Natalie is 2 years old and then start trying, if we want to go for it.

But I was an only child for almost 8 years. So I know that if we make the decision that Natalie will be our one and only little girl, she will be just fine.

smiles1123 · October 2011

dd is baby number 3 for us so no.

*BlackSheep* · October 2011

Scout2005:
We're going back to the RE in April. It took us two years to have a healthy LO, so we don't really want to wait much longer than that. If it happens right away, that would be wonderful and totally fine. I certainly hope that is how it goes, but I have to be realistic about our challenges.

Yeah!

We are TTC now but we're not holdong our breathe since it took 2 year & a RE to get my little guy. But I will be going back in Sept 2012, So that way I should be done with school by the time the 2nd one came. But if I somehow got pg before then we'd still be very happy, I think I would be even more happy then! haa

skio · October 2011

I want my kids 2-3 years apart, ideally. I plan to go off BC in May of next year, so DD will be 14 months, and hope to get knocked up within 6 months. If all goes as planned, kiddos will be 23-28 months apart.

etude de la vie · October 2011

mine are 16 months apart to the day (DS is my no AF/ebfing/on the mini pill baby, I didn't know I was pg) and I can honestly say the next one will be spaced when DS is 3 years old.

There are some major perks to having close spacing:

Pregnancy was very easy since DD was still not moving during 1st trimester or just started crawling,

She still took 3 naps a day so I could rest.

She had NO problem transitioning to having him and still has NO jealousy issues or sharing issues, I was already in baby mode and all the stuff was out (swing/bouncy/bassinet) so I didn't need to store it for long.

Changing diapers was never really a problem for me although some days it feels like all I am doing is changing poo...especially if some one is teething

Some of the cons:

last trimester was awful because I still had to carry her around every where outside of the house.

She didn't understand or communicate much and was still very much a baby, she couldn't wait or help and it was very demanding on me.

I often felt like I was on the verge of a panic attack during the day (DH gets home after bedtime so I did 100%). Between ZERO sleep and having to be up taking care of a toddler I had some really rough days in the beginning. Also mastitis 5x in 3 months just about killed me and I gave up bfing DS since the recurring mastitis was probably due to my body being so stressed out.

Doing every little thing was stressful and took 5x as long. Something simple like getting everyone in/out of the car was a very strategic stressful ordeal. I had to get DS out first and into a baby carrier then walk around to get DD and either carry her on my hip (16 months was too young to walk in a parking lot holding my hand...now she does) or if a cart was close put her directly into that. The only problem is as I loaded her into the cart or the car with DS in the carrier her feet would get very close to his head and she could kick him if she decided to pitch a fit getting into the cart/car.

hindsight is always 20/20.... I will have #3 but they will be spaced a minimum of 2.5-3 years!

Spin313 · October 2011

vanfox:
Spin313:
My kids are a week shy of being 3 years apart, and I think that's a fantastic age gap. DS is old enough to be helpful and independent. I couldn't imagine having two kids any less than 2 years apart.

I'm glad you said this! It makes me feel better because I think 2.5-3 years is the gap I want to shoot for but a lot of people (IRL, not here) are already making me feel like that might be too long.

You're welcome! Everyone is different, but for me it's working out great! Pregnancy was rough and tiring, however DS adjusted without any issues. Also, he just started preschool, so DD and I get to have some alone bonding time.

kcisthebombdotcom · October 2011

Honestly, I wish I had them closer. I think 9 months apart would have been great. I really liked getting all the pregnancy/newborn stuff out of the way, instead of waiting a few years with an older independent child and starting all over again. When the baby came when my oldest was 12.5 months, I was still in that baby mentality. I dont think 2 in diapers is all that bad. It takes like, 2 seconds to change a diaper, with the exception of 2 poopy diapers a day.

Now that my baby is getting older, I'm enjoying it even more. They can be read/be entertained by the same exact books so I can teach them together. They play with the same toys so only one set of toys out. My SIL has 3.5 years between her kids and now that her youngest is mobile it's really challenging. The baby gets into all the older child's toys with small parts, so the older child cant have some of her toys in her playroom and she gets really frustrated. Or she has to stop playing with a toy because the baby wakes up from a nap, or hide in her room with the door closed.

firegal195 · October 2011

im waiting till DS is out of diapers at least...my best friend had 2 in diapers and she always said how it sucked...so ill wait a while.

lyzabeth · October 2011

We'll go off the pill when E is 13 months. My brother and I are 16 mos apart and we loved growing up so close. Although, I have it on good authority we made my mom crazy, that's a risk I am willing to take. But waiting has benefits too!

jolynn326 · October 2011

I have baby fever now!

DH and I are not TTA, so we would welcome #2 at any point. I think my preferred age difference would be 18 months-3 years tops!

mrambo3 · October 2011

We will be TTC#2 around DS's 1st birthday in April. DH wants them to be super close in age...I at least got him to agree to wait until DS is 1!

always4278 · October 2011

I wish I was in the position to have my second baby close in age to my first, but there is no way that is going to happen. My sister and I are two years apart and ideally that is what I would want. We're super close and I would love for my kids to be too. However, realistically I'm thinking we won't be ready for #2 for at least three to four years. Our LO was a big surprise and I still have one year left of school and my BF has three left. There is no way we are in a financial position to have a second child, especially because I don't want to be as stressed as I was with my DD. I've always wanted to be a mom and have several kids, but logically we really need to wait.

lilmami3 · October 2011

LynsiBHM:
For my own sanity and for my shopping budget, i don't want 2 in diapers. I plan to wait until P starts potty training to try for #2. 2-3 years is a good gap for me. My brother and I are 3.5 yrs apart and that's probably the longeset id want to go.

This I have two in diapers right now and it is nooooo fun let me tell you. Although DD is on the verge of wanting to start. Hopefully soon.

lclaws13 · October 2011

mrambo3:
We will be TTC#2 around DS's 1st birthday in April. DH wants them to be super close in age...I at least got him to agree to wait until DS is 1!

This is my situation exactly. As soon as DS was born, DH asked how long we have to wait... "so, in 6 weeks we start trying, right?" I think I threatened death or bodily harm. We'll be waiting until at least March.

HUrquiza · October 2011

I jumped the gun a little... haha, I'm DUE on DS#1's first birthday! we wanted to have them close in age. I'm happy about being done with diapers, bottles, potty training, and all that jazz all at once.

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