3 year olds who havent started potty training?

NJLH · October 2011

I feel like a terrible mother. My girls will be 3 on Thursday and I've barely attempted training. I tried a few times at the end of the summer.My girls are so stubborn...I got the potty thrown at my head. My 1 DD violently refused to put on underwear or even a pullup. I'll ask periodically if they want to go on the potty and they refuse. I feel like theyre getting old for the "not ready" excuse. I've been thru so much with the girls with developmental delays (they're pretty caught up now) that I just havent had the strength and drive to try this again. I know I need to. Any others go thru this? Thanks!

boysx2 · October 2011

We tried with DS for the first time right after he turned 3. It did not go well at all. So we waited a few months, tried again and it went great!! Try it for a day or two, if it doesnt go well, try again in a month.

Cristine · October 2011

I didn't try with my oldest until he turned 3. He had no interest before that. He caught on pretty quick. I think it took him about 3 days to get peeing down. Pooping took almost a year. I was ready to tear my hair out. My cousin who's only a year older than my son wasn't potty trained until she was 4. She could read before she was potty trained! Both my son and my cousin are in the gifted program at school. Some kids are just stubborn about it. I wouldn't stress over it too much. I would tell them though they can't do X until they're potty trained because that's only for big kids. And big kids are potty trained. Good Luck.

AgrippaRidesAgain · October 2011

Yes. We're still working on poop training, but DS is completely pee trained and has been since 3y1m. What worked to get him on the potty was lots of bribing. :-) We told him that we were going to try something new. If he wore underwear for 5 minutes, he'd get an M&M. He could choose when to do it. I reminded him every morning when he got up, and every time that I changed a diaper. After a week of that, I mentioned that if he wore that underwear for 5 minutes before breakfast, that he'd get M&M's before breakfast. He was sold. 5 minutes turned into the entire morning. Lots and lots of M&Ms doled out that day. I sneakily extended the time without telling him. He got two M&M's for peeing on the potty. The next day, I started at 5 minutes for 15 minutes, then switched it to every 20 minutes. The day after that, it was every 30 minutes. By the 4th day, I stopped setting the timer and just gave him the underwear M&Ms whenever he asked if it had been long enough.

I think it really helped, b/c it was such an easy way to get a reward. We're still working on #2, but he has some sensory problems with that (the smell makes him gag) so I'm not pushing it at the moment.

schnappycat · October 2011

I didn't even attempt it until DS was 3.5 years. Seriously. He just wasn't interested at 3. Rewards, bribery, etc. didn't work. In our case, we just had to wait until he was very ready. Then it was so easy. After 1 day, he was essentially trained.

Mrs Manners · October 2011

We tried before ds turned three and kept at it. He wasn't ready and it was frustrating and a power struggle. He also didn't have the bladder control to be able to hold it long enough at that point. He was about 3 years, 3 months old when he got the bladder control and maturity and it clicked. Honestly, I wish we'd just waited until then because it would have been a whole lot less frustrating for us all.

kmhunt11 · October 2011

With DD, I started talking about it every couple of months a little before she turned 2. We'd give it a try, it wouldn't work, we'd let it drop. A couple months in we brought it up and asked her to try every few weeks. We'd go through the whole process with no success. We were positive and patient, and it turns out she was taking it all in. One day I walked by the bathroom and there she was- peeing by herself. I sneakily watched her wipe, flush, pull everything up and wash her hands by herself. After that she just did it. She wasn't going to do it until she was ready on her own.

Now, here's there really important point: "potty trained" isn't a date and time. It's been almost a year and a half and every few months she totally throws it off and will exclusively pee in her pants for a day, or a week. Don't get frustrated- it's what they all do.

Also, have you posted on the multiples board? I know twins are very different because they can present a united front against it, and take much longer.

pea-kay · October 2011

we tried PTing the boys a couple of months before they turned 3, and it was a total, abject failure. but then a couple of months after their birthday, it was the easiest thing in the world.

just wait.

dpdw · October 2011

schnappycat:
I didn't even attempt it until DS was 3.5 years. Seriously. He just wasn't interested at 3. Rewards, bribery, etc. didn't work. In our case, we just had to wait until he was very ready. Then it was so easy. After 1 day, he was essentially trained.

Ditto this. IMO you can't force a child to PT. It'll become a battle of wills - and they will win.

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3 year olds who havent started potty training?

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