Came to an agreement at mediation today

PrincessFiona9 · October 2011

I was feeling pretty relieved, but then my stepmom flipped out on me when I got home and now I feel like crap again.

Ex will start having supervised visitation next month and eventually, after a few months of this and having DD for longer stretches of time, he will have her for 1 overnight EOW. After a little while of this he will have her for 2 overnights EOW. I will still retain sole legal and physical custody. I can have Ex drug tested at any time, and I do not have to let him see DD if he appears intoxicated. I feel like this is what's best, and I don't think I would get anything really different if I fight it in court. Oh, he will also start paying CS next month, and it is a reasonable amount.

I just hope that for the first few visits he and I can get along and he will let me stay there so she can get used to him and his family while I'm still there.

CPA04 · October 2011

I think if it is an agreement and you are both comfortable with the terms, that's what's important. I think it's good that you're taking small steps with DD and gradually increasing the exposure to her father. Everything you said seems reasonable for her age.

Sorry you're stepmom is being negative. Don't let her bring you down if you're confident with your decision!

lilhotcandie69 · October 2011

So i'm assuming he has a drug problem. So good for you for standing up for your daughter and for yourself.

PrincessFiona9 · October 2011

The mediator said she would type up the agreement and email it to both of us today sometime. I think I'm going to email her back about putting it in there that I'm going to stay with DD for the first few visits so that she can have an easier transition. The more I think about it, the more I worry.

achase123 · October 2011

If you're comfortable with it then that's good. I wonder though, it does seem kind of from one extreme to the next to go from supervised visitation, to EOW. I am wondering this for myself too because XH has three hours a week of supervised visitation and we go back to court in Dec so I'm wondering what he'll want at that point in time, and what's a good compromise.

PrincessFiona9 · October 2011

I contacted my own lawyer today and had a phone consultation. He told me that this "graduated" or "tiered" plan is standard. He also relieved a lot of my worries in that this agreement isn't set in stone yet, and I can bring up my concern to the judge and she'll most likely order Ex to allow me to stay during visitation at first until DD gets acclimated. So I definitely feel better. I played phone tag with another other lawyer for a month, and today I got this guy on the line in less than 10 minutes. Go figure.