3rd Trimester

putting LO in there own room

im a 1st time mom and my husband does not wont our baby in the room with us at all. im hoping to have the money to get a video baby monitor. im wondering what can i do to change his mind or would it be ok to put baby in the crib? how old was your LO when you put it in its own bed?

Re: putting LO in there own room

  • are you planning to BF?  Believe me, in the beginning when they are waking up every 2-3 hours, you will want the baby as close as possible. Also, I just liked having her in our room because I wanted to be able to see her. 

    What are his reasons for not wanting the baby in the room?  We were able to talk, watch TV, read in our room after she was sleeping.  I actually think this helped condition her to be a heavier sleeper.  

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  • imagebrittnic23:

    im a 1st time mom and my husband does not wont our baby in the room with us at all. im hoping to have the money to get a video baby monitor. im wondering what can i do to change his mind or would it be ok to put baby in the crib? how old was your LO when you put it in its own bed?

     

    Did you tell him that the chances of SIDS are reduced when baby is in room? (6 months of sleeping in the room is recommended)

    Also, maybe tell him that the whole diapering and feeding process would likely be quicker each time if the baby is in the room close to you, rather than having to go into another room and do it all?

  • We transition to crib around 3-5ish months.  I would recommend baby in your room...it is a bazillion times easier to have baby right next to your bed...rather than get up all the time, walking back and forth to LOs room.  But that is just me.  
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  • I got a little bassinet to go next to my side of the bed (I do plan on BF), and have little baskets on the bottom with diapers/wipes, ect. I will keep her in there, until I feel comfortable putting her in her crib. I mean it will be much easier the first month or so, expecially BF'ing her every 2-3 hours. Maybe explain to him that not only is it better for you LO, but it is going to help you tremendously in the sleeping/taking care of LO department?!? GL luck girl!
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  • I would not be okay with putting LO in his own room right away. He will sleep better, he has reduced risk of SIDS, and breastfeeding will be so much easier with him in our room at first. If your husband understands the benefits of room sharing with a newborn, he will change his mind. If he doesn't, he will for sure change his mind if he has to be the one to go get your LO every hour or so and bring him to you!!
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  • We plan on putting our LO in the crib from the first day we're home.  Now, our LO's room is about 20 feet from our room - but I think we'd still do the crib right away even if we were on different floors.  It's all personal preference and what you are comfortable with - we just don't want our LO getting used to being in the same room with us and then having a hard time transitioning to their room.
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  • imagesterpstra10:
    We plan on putting our LO in the crib from the first day we're home.  Now, our LO's room is about 20 feet from our room - but I think we'd still do the crib right away even if we were on different floors.  It's all personal preference and what you are comfortable with - we just don't want our LO getting used to being in the same room with us and then having a hard time transitioning to their room.

    I just want to say, we switched our daughter to her own room when she was about 3 months old and she had no issues.  The first three months of that baby's life is like a 4th trimester, so you can't hold them too much, give them too much attention, etc.  

    I think the best thing you can do from the start is to put them down when they are drowsy but not asleep.  Having a baby used to being rocked to sleep is WAY tougher to break than them just sleeping in your room.

    Obviously, you two will do what is best for your family and thus best for your baby, but I just wanted to let you know that the transition is not always bad. :) 

    Oh and to be clear, she was not in our bed but in a bassinet in our room.  

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  • If he still feels that way when LO comes tell him that you are too sore to get up and go to the crib each time LO crys and ask him to do it and bring LO to you for feeding, changing, etc. That should change his mind pretty quickly. My DD was in a bassinet in our room for 8 weeks. She could have gone to her own crib at 6 weeks but I was attached and wasn't ready. DH suggested we move her at 8 weeks because she was outgrowing her bassinet and was only waking 1-2 times per night at that point. I had a tougher time with the move than she did. She didn't seem to notice. However, she's always been an excellent sleeper. Some babies need to room-in a bit longer.
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  • LO slept on her own sleep surface from day 1.  We had her in a bassinet in our room for the first few months.  We moved her to her crib in her own room when she was 3 months old because DH's snoring was waking her up (a few days later she was sleeping for 6 hour stretches at night).  We'll be doing something similar this time.  Having the baby in our room is much more convenient than having her in a different room.  Especially in the first few weeks, we were up all the time with her.  Newborns eat every 2-3 hours.  Considering that they also need a lot of diaper changes and can take a long time to eat, it wasn't uncommon for us to have only 1 hr of sleep at a time.  On top of that, I found that we'd wake up randomly and want to reassure ourselves that she was ok.  Having her in the same room made things easier.  It would have driven me nuts to have had to go to another room every time.

    At the end of the day, you'll need to do what works best for your family.  Just talk things through with your husband.  If you both explain why you want to do things a certain way, you should be able to find a compromise that puts both of you at ease.

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  • My son was in this own room from the second night we came home. His room is directly across from ours and we didn't use a video monitor. I tried to sleep with him in the same room with us but, I was too anxious. I could hear every noise he made and could sleep at all. I breastfed exclusively for almost a year and never had any problem getting up. I actually preferred to wake up a little because I was scared would fall asleep while BF. My son is normal, happy, healthy, and doesn't suffer from any issues from sleeping in his own room.  Believe it or not, I could still manage to stand up and walk into my sons room to comfort him every time he cried. 
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  • as hard as it may be to have my LO in a diff room from me i think im gonna do the same as you. than ill get use to having him in his room, my husband has the same thought as yall about being in the same room and all. see his cousion is 10 and still has to sleep with his dad. yes hes a big baby! LO room is not far. live in a 2  bed room 1 bath trailer so i go through the kitchen and livin room and theres babys room. i think once i get use to it ill be ok. thanks for the opioin.
  • I kept my oldest in the room with me.  I just kept his bassinet next to my side of the bed.  However, he also had his own room and slept in there during the day.  I BF exclusively and it was soooo much easier having him nearby.  Hope this helps!

     

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  • I also wanted to say that my daughter loves being in her own bed/crib.  She is not one to sleep with us at all. She just doesn't like it and the only time since she was a few weeks old that she has slept in my bed was when she was really sick last year and just needed the comfort.  She went back to her crib without any issues. 

    You just never know what your baby will need, how they will do until you are in the situation.

    Best of luck! 

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  • We had DS in our room in a bassinet for the first two weeks.  Then we moved him into his own room.  All babies are different and DS would go 4-5 hours without waking to eat and since DH was back at work it didn't make sense for the baby and I to wake him up each time we got up.  He was also a very loud sleeper and would wake us up constantly.

    With this one we will start with the bassinet at first and see how well LO sleeps before making the decision on when to switch based on how he handles it.  I find that it is better to go into it prepared for both situations and then adjust to fit the babies needs rather than trying to make your baby sleep in the conditions that you want. 

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  • What is his reasoning for not wanting the baby in the room? Is it a privacy thing? or an independence thing for the baby?

    I had the same issue with my husband. It's my second child but his first. We're setting up a nursery for the baby but im going to let him see how it is when the baby is here. We have a basinet for the baby to sleep in next to me and we will be BFding for a while. He'll be the one to get up and get the baby though. He'll be the one who has to wake up everytime he cries. I explained to him it would be a lot easier if he was just as close to us (me) as possible but he doesnt seem to understand. He will soon though. ;)

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  • If this were my DH, which it is not, I would say: Suck it up, Buttercup.

    (No, I'm not some kind of harpy, but seriously- tough poo if it's not what he wants. This is not about him.)

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  • We kept DS in our bedroom until he was about 2 months old, but hew as in a little cradle/bassinet, not our own bed. We did not want to do co-sleeping, but I liked having him in the room for a while for the overnight feeding's and just piece of mind. We will probably be doing the same with DS #2 when he arrives in December :-)

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  • We put DD in her crib from day 1 and plan on doing the same for this baby.  All of our bedrooms are right next to each other, so we can hear every noise they make during the night.
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  • Our plan was to originally put ds in his own room, but he had other plans.  Maybe your child will be fine from day one in it's own crib.  If it isn't, maybe your husband will change his mind when he realizes that he'll actually get more sleep with the baby in the room.
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  • imageJennyanydots26:
    imagebrittnic23:

    im a 1st time mom and my husband does not wont our baby in the room with us at all. im hoping to have the money to get a video baby monitor. im wondering what can i do to change his mind or would it be ok to put baby in the crib? how old was your LO when you put it in its own bed?

     

    Did you tell him that the chances of SIDS are reduced when baby is in room? (6 months of sleeping in the room is recommended)

    Also, maybe tell him that the whole diapering and feeding process would likely be quicker each time if the baby is in the room close to you, rather than having to go into another room and do it all?

     

    Based on this article, sleeping in the room with the parents reduces SIDS.....

    https://vitals.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/10/18/8380384-new-sids-guidelines-no-bumpers-in-the-crib 

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  • we're planning on putting baby in her own room from day 1 - it's right across the hall from our room.
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  • have you shown your husband anything that says it is recommending to cosleep for the first 6 months?
  • DD was 2 weeks old when she went in crib. My DS was 7 weeks and we only waited that long because we needed the video monitor hooked up before I felt comfortable with him in there. I breastfeed my DS and I breastfed my DD and when they needed/need to nurse I sit in the glider and put him right back in crib. IMO, if you can get a video monitor in there I say the earlier they are in their room, the better. I hear of too many parents having serious problems transitioning their children to their crib/room as they get older. Plus I want qt with my DH w/out my LO's in there,
  • I thought I would put DD#1 in the crib in her room right away, but I couldn't do it.  Her room is 15 steps from my side of the bed, but I needed to be able to see her and check on her.  We bought a Travel Lite Crib our second night home and DD slept in our room for 6 months.  Also, feeding 3-4 times a night is a lot easier when you don't physically have to get out of bed.  My DH won't have much time off work, but we have a guest room if he needs it.

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  • Show him statistics that SIDS goes down a lot if you let the baby stay in the room for a few weeks...maybe that will appeal to his senses.
  • If it were me, I'd laugh in my husbands face at that.  I will be breastfeeding this child (as I did with DS) and having the baby in the room (in a bassinet) was ideal.  

    If DH told me this baby couldn't sleep in our room now, he'd be getting up and bringing the baby to me every single time it cried. 

    Besides the breastfeeding thing, it was a nice sense of security to look over and make sure the baby was okay. Yeah, I get you can do that with a monitor but I liked having him right there. 

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  • I BF and DD was in her own room and crib the first night home from the hospital.  Her bedroom was right across the hall and I had no problem hearing her.  We did still have a monitor, but not a video one.
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  • imagefostermurphy:
    My son was in this own room from the second night we came home. His room is directly across from ours and we didn't use a video monitor. I tried to sleep with him in the same room with us but, I was too anxious. I could hear every noise he made and could sleep at all. I breastfed exclusively for almost a year and never had any problem getting up. I actually preferred to wake up a little because I was scared would fall asleep while BF. My son is normal, happy, healthy, and doesn't suffer from any issues from sleeping in his own room.  Believe it or not, I could still manage to stand up and walk into my sons room to comfort him every time he cried. 

    I didn't breastfeed for a whole year, but this is exactly what we did as well.  When we travelled she was in the same room as us obviously and we hated it!  We could hear everything she did and neither of us (my husband or me) got much sleep.  When we couldn't hear her normal sleeping sounds it was easier to sleep.  We actually  never used a monitor at all because of the way our house is set up, we just left doors open and we could hear her just fine when she was hungry or needed something.  I too much prefered to actually get up and walk and talk her to the living room to feed her because that just made me a bit more aware of what I was doing and because I am such a heavy sleeper I never would have been comfortable feeding her while I was still mostly asleep.

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  • This is our first LO and we are planning on having him/her sleep in the nursery from day one. It is right next to our room and we will have baby moniters. I'm a light sleeper and DH can be, so for us it makes sense not to wake the other one up when we are feeding/changing late at night.

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  • He'll probably change his mind. My husband did. Once my daughter was born, he became protective daddy and wanted her as close as possible.

    My DD slept in her pack n play until she was about 4 months. Then she went into her crib in her room.  

    This time we will probably transition sooner. Co-sleeping is not for everyone, and the 3 of us (my daughter included!) slept MUCH better once we all had our own space.

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  • imageMrsT2008:
    we're planning on putting baby in her own room from day 1 - it's right across the hall from our room.

    This.

  • my dd was in her own room from the first night...her room is like 10 feet from ours. Getting up constantly didn't last long as she was sleeping through the night at 6 weeks. I just new if she was in the room with me I wouldn't get any sleep.
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  • We transitioned to the crib after about a week old.  It was easier for me to get up and change her diaper in her room, nurse in the rocker and put her back to bed. 
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  • Don?t laugh at your husband. He deserves respect and he is entitled to an opinion too. If he doesn?t want the baby in the same bed you can do what we did.  We had our baby in our room but we bought a Chicco play yard and the MamaDoo Kids Mattress Topper, this one to make it more comfortable. We decided these two items because the play yard didn?t take much space in our room and because both are portable and we can travel with them. Good luck!
  • Arguments for room-sharing: 

    For me, I slept better because DS was in our room- even if I woke up more to his noises, the sleep I got was better because I knew I would wake up to him making noises.  I liked having him close because it felt like that was where he belonged after spending nine months inside me.  I liked being able to look over and see him at any time. I liked being able to reach my hand in and rub his tummy and shush him- because of that, I could lay in bed and still promote going to bed sleepy.  I liked knowing that SIDS risk was lower due to having him in the room with me.  Transitions happen throughout your child's life as they acquire new abilities and needs- they're often difficult, but never the end of the world, and I want to let my baby be a baby before I move him on. I'd rather make the transition in sleeping arrangements when I'm not fresh out of the hospital, anyway :)

    I actually found it easier to take DS into his room for feeding and changing, so I didn't even get that "benefit"!

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