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C-sections
mama livingston
member
My body sucks (vent---sorry)
mama livingston
member
in C-sections
I know it's been 2 months since I had my c-section, but I am really really having a hard time tonight! I just need to get it off my chest have hopefully have at least one person understand me....I feel so mad at my body for many different reasons...
reason number 1. I couldn't grow her right! at 39 w 1 d we were induced because she was measuring so small.
#2. we ended up needing a c-section because she was in fetal distress every time I had a contraction. I was only 1.5 cm dialated and 70% effaced. I hadn't even started labor. I am so upset that I will never have the opportunity to even begin to feel what labor is like (I know I say that now and have no clue what it really feels like, but I am a woman and I feel like this is what I was made for and I even fail at that) since vbacs are now allowed in hospitals where I live.
and #3. my stupid milk supply is slowing leaving me!!! no matter what I do, I just can't seem to get it to increase. I keep asking for help from the LC and DD pedi and keep getting told nurse her and pump more often. If I did either any more often I wouldn't have time to eat!
my body has totally failed me when it comes to caring for my baby and I'm PISSED!
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Re: My body sucks (vent---sorry)
I understand your feelings. I had an unplanned c-section 10 weeks ago after being induced and not progressing. Even though I didn't have a set birth plan so I wouldn't be upset if things didn't go as I had imagined, I think everyone associates having a baby with going through labour and pushing your child out. It is what your body is designed to do right? I have lingering feelings of being a failure because my body didn't do what it was supposed to. Talk about it here, to your husband & family. I think it is normal to feel that way and you just need to work through it and move passed those feelings.
Is there another hospital that you could go to in the future to try a VBAC? If not, they may change policies before your next, so try not to think now that you'll never have a chance.
Hugs
Aw, I'm sorry you're having a rough time. DS1's birth was a c-section, and he was unexpectedly hospitalized afterwards, and it just sucked all around. I spent a decent amount of time being pissed and bummed about what happened, but I eventually came to terms with it. So be patient and kind to yourself!
As for VBAC, you could always check your local ICAN chapter, because they'll be the most informed about providers who do support it. And there's a lot of midwives who support VBAC, too. And get a second opinion in regard to your supply tanking - either with another LC or a LLL group. Hang in there!
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
I understand your feelings. My cord failed (stopped providing nutrients) to Aidan so he had to be born at 28w4d. He passed because of a brain bleed, but my $#@!% body couldn't work properly to keep him cooking longer.
Are you taking any supplements? How is DD's latch? Check out the breastfeeding board to see if you can get any tips.