Community› The Bump Message Boards› Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
New Discussion

Second time around...how do you do it?!

myfirstpoppyseedmyfirstpoppyseed
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

I can't imagine being excited the second time around.  We aren't even close to trying again, but this is just something that has been on my mind.

I'd be riddled with nerves the entire first trimester!  That's not healthy, so what do you do?  Just try to ignore the fact that you're pregnant until you CAN be excited?

I'm not a patient woman...I can't imagine battling every day wondering if I was going to miscarry AGAIN.

What do statistics show for someone miscarrying twice in a row?

I just can't imagine going through this again.

And it makes everything OH SO MUCH more painful when you see teenagers getting preganant when they don't want it...even other women that get preg. and don't want it.  And even the ones that ARE pregnant, their excitement hurts ME...not that I can blame them. 

I'm taking this all a lot harder than I thought I would....just kinda stuck on what to do now.

Report Reply to Post

Re: Second time around...how do you do it?!

  • maxsommaxsom

    All you can do is just try to stay positive.  Everyone I know who's had a miscarriage in the past went on to have healthy pregnancies either right away or shortly after.  It's going to be nerve wracking.  I know that I'll be worried until we at least hear a heartbeat and probably for a while after that.  All you can do is accept that you don't have control over the whole process, take care of yourself the best you can and do what you know you're supposed to do when pregnant (I won't touch a drop of caffiene this time around - drank coffee until I got my BFP and had one small cup afterward - and, in fact, now that my bleeding has slowed down, I've stopped drinking it again and will try to suffer through any ailments without taking pain meds or cold meds, etc. and I'm still taking prenatals, etc.) and hope for the best.  I know that if I want to have a child, the fear of this happening again is just a fear I'm going to have to push through and overcome.

    Good luck to you.  Don't give up hope.

    BFP #1 9-15-11; EDD 5-28-12. US 6w2d, growth

    BFP #2 12-6-11 and 12-7-11; EDD 8-17-12. US 6w6d measuring 5w6d. Misoprostol Assisted m/c 1-16-12 at 9w3d.

    image

    <a href="http://s109.photobucket.com/albums/n56/katharine25/?action=view

    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • HopingforChangeHopingforChange member
    Some days I feel like I want to TTC again ASAP, and other days I can't imagine taking that risk again.  I think it's normal to be afraid.  I think that, when it's time for us to TTC again we will know because we will feel the benefits are worth the risk.  Lots of meditation during pregnancy number two--that's my plan!  I think it will just be an exercise in being present in each moment and not looking too far ahead--a sort of "I'll cross that bridge when I come to it" mentality.  Best of luck, and don't feel like there is no chance of a successful and happy pregnancy in your future.  There has to be, because you deserve that (we all do).  We just might have to work a little harder than the average woman to get it.
    image


    Report Reply
  • QuigleyCat1QuigleyCat1 member
    I am so sorry for your loss. This is a very hard thing to go through wondering how you'll get through today let alone tomorrow.  I know.  But look back at each day since your loss...each one is a huge step that you should be proud of and take comfort in.  I've posted this before but it makes sense to me.  I hope that tomorrow when you look back on today you find a bit more peace or something to make you smile.  No matter what it is...it could be the sunshine or your SO or a silly commercial or movie.  Sounds strange, but each thing that makes you smile or laugh will slowly make you feel better about yourself and TTC again in the future.  It may take you several months or maybe just a cycle or two; there is no right or wrong.  It's a personal and emotional decision.  And I wish you the best and many many hugs. :)

    Lilypie - (dLe1)

     

          ***BFP 1-22-13, baby boy dx with Trisomy 13 at 15 weeks.

           We let him go to Heaven on 4-27-13 at 17 weeks 1 day***

     Lilypie - (AW2u)
     

     Lilypie - (L84X)Lilypie - (D4Hj)

     

     

     

     

    Report Reply
  • LS50LS50

    You'll know when you are ready..unfortunately it doesn't mean that the worry or fear will ever go away. I think any combination of the things you posted here every day!  I don't know any actual stats on recurrent m/c but my OB told me that 1 m/c is no indication that you will have another...he said that once you've had more than 1 the chances of a 3rd or 4th are higher. 

     When you are ready check out the TTCAL board...a lot of great ladies going through the same thing!

    TTC #1 since January 2010
    BFP 6/11/2011. Heartbeat seen on u/s 6/29. No heartbeat 7/13 at 9w0d. D&C 7/18.
    Missing our little bean. Our hearts broke when yours stopped beating. Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    BFP 1/3/2012. Please God...let this be our take home baby!
    BabyFetus Ticker
    Report Reply
  • texasmeg1texasmeg1 member

    I had these same questions our our loss in June. And everyone said "Welcome to the unfortunate club of being pregnant after a loss". The worry will never go away. We got pregnant again in August... luckily I had weekly RE ultrasounds and we were able to hear the heartbeat every week. Then... bam.... as soon as some of the worry started going away and our confidence starting going up, no heartbeat at our 10 week appointment.

    I don't want to get you down, but that one of the very unfortunate things about being pregnant after a loss. You will never want to put your guard down and the fear of another loss is so overwhelming. At least it was for me....

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"