Anyone miss their old life?

bunnymama625 · October 2011

Don't get me wrong-- I love Camryn to pieces and every minute away from her I ache to get back to her, but...

Sometimes I really miss the old me- I miss going out to meet my old roommate for drinks and to dish on guys, I miss getting completely dressed up for a party and looking hot (without baby puke on my shoulder), I miss not having this extra bag of skin around my middle... sometimes I just miss stupid stuff, like sleeping late on Saturday or running out of the apartment with just a cell phone and credit card.

Of course, feeling all of this makes me feel like I should have "Worst Mother of the Year" stamped on my forehead. I love my baby and I wouldn't trade her for anything, but sometimes I miss the OLD me.

Am I alone in this boat? Cause I'm feeling pretty crappy-mom-jeans right now Confused

hepcats · October 2011

I have no idea what you mean... Huh?

j/k I think that's pretty normal. I miss getting more than 6 hours sleep at a time, I miss my DH and my weekly date night, I miss my thinner self. But, like you, there is no amount of that other stuff that could ever make up for how fulfilling it is to be a mom. Even when you're having one of those days, feeling like you can't do a dern thing right, all it takes is one smile from them and all that just melts away. Don't feel bad, mama, it's normal.

JayElleJayCee · October 2011

I miss my old body.. and I miss being able to make little stops that I avoid like the plague now.

Other than that, I feel like my old life was so boring! I was thinking about it the other day (what would I be doing right now?) and the answer was nothing as interesting as watching my baby girl talking to her toy on the floor.

absoluteremix · October 2011

I miss my old body! I also miss having fun money but I quite my job to be a SAHM for a while. I don't really miss my old life bc it's not much different. My hubby and I are home-bodies and prefer to watch movies on our couch. We would only go out about once a year to bars or anything. So not much has changed. I do miss sleeping in.

KelXoXo · October 2011

I'm a social person - former sorority girl, coordinator of weekly happy hours and social gatherings, themed parties and weekend getaways...and while I assumed a baby would be portable, and could adapt to my life, she can't. My kid is the one that demands a strict schedule, and I could set a clock by her naps and feedings, so I'm pretty much trapped to the house unless I have a babysitter, or want a miserable baby.

I love our time at home together...but I really really really miss all my weekend and evening social events.

Sunidaze · October 2011

I was just thinking about this earlier. For the most part, I don't. Since I didn't have Stella until 38, I had plenty of time to get all of the 'fun' stuff out of my system. The onlyy thing I really miss is sleeping in on the weekends (I love my sleep and this kid appears to be a morning person).

imoverit · October 2011

You are not the only one. I know this is tmi but dh and I were a strong couple before having our lo. Now we fight all the time because dh is still adjusting to giving up his"me" time. I deal with this too on occasion and miss the things mentioned in the OP. Its not easy transitioning to a ftm imo.

3Girls3xsTheFun · October 2011

I had my first daughter when I was a Sr in college so I've never had an adult life to myself, really. I was really involved in my sorority and studied abroad in Ireland, but I never got into much else before I had her. Same for H. We met at a frat party & he is a year younger than me- he was only 21 when Dd1 was born. We both finished school, got jobs & bought our first home when he was 22 & i was 23.? I'm sure?we missed out on a lot of happy hours and vacations, but we don't have much to "miss," this has been our whole life together.

meringue123 · October 2011

I miss sleep and I miss being able to stop on my way home from work and shop or do whatever I want. I hate having to deal with babysitters. I wish it were always appropriate to have her with me, like bring her to parent teacher conferences this week Stick out tongue

meredith_rn · October 2011

I'm so glad others feel the same way....my 4 month old started daycare about 5 weeks ago when I went back to work. Last night he got sick and thus couldn't go to daycare today....I almost had a breakdown remembering the long 12 weeks of maternity leave, and realizing it was just the two of us for possibly several days again! (i'm just not stay at home mom material I guess)

Then I had a secondary breakdown feeling so guilty about feeling that way!!!!

Then, after our LONG day together, I felt even more guilty as he sat there watching me cook dinner and giggling like the best baby in the world!

Seriously, being a mom is hard work, a full time job with no coffee break. I totally admire stay at home mom's.

justme04 · October 2011

Lol its only been 2 years and a month since DS1 was born and I don't really remeber my old life anymore. I'm so used to having to carry a diaper bag, purse toys, extra clothes, sippy cups....etc when I leave the house that its hard to imagine just getting in the car and going somewhere.

Heck do you know how many times I've gone to leave the house real quick to run to the gas station down the street for a gallon of milk and grabbed a diaper bag on my way out the door walked halfway to my car and remebered that duh! I'm not taking any of the kids with me because DH is home and watching them!

I can say I don't miss pretending to be into bar hopping and clubbing to hang out with my old friends (I say old because all of them dissapered now that I can't just go out anymore).

freinhardt21 · October 2011

bunnymama625:
Don't get me wrong-- I love Camryn to pieces and every minute away from her I ache to get back to her, but...
Sometimes I really miss the old me- I miss going out to meet my old roommate for drinks and to dish on guys, I miss getting completely dressed up for a party and looking hot (without baby puke on my shoulder), I miss not having this extra bag of skin around my middle... sometimes I just miss stupid stuff, like sleeping late on Saturday or running out of the apartment with just a cell phone and credit card.
Of course, feeling all of this makes me feel like I should have "Worst Mother of the Year" stamped on my forehead. I love my baby and I wouldn't trade her for anything, but sometimes I miss the OLD me.
Am I alone in this boat? Cause I'm feeling pretty crappy-mom-jeans right now

I'm pretty sure you read my mind.... =/

Beckson · October 2011

Just parts of it... Like sleep. Mostly sleep. But also wearing bras that actually provide support, and don't have easy-access fronts. But I love my baby!

cassoppea · October 2011

I just want to go for a run when I feel like it. Ok, and I wish I felt like actually going for a run...

You are not alone. I think its really tough to find a balance between caring for your child and still holding on to the person you were before the baby. It doesn't make you a bad mom at all!

Now, go rock those mom jeans!

meringue123 · October 2011

cassoppea:

I just want to go for a run when I feel like it. Ok, and I wish I felt like actually going for a run...

This too! I used to do a lot of races and now I get so caught up in the logistics of feeding, whether to run with the jogging stroller or have someone watch her, and then add on the fact that stuffing these huge sore boobs into a sports bra sounds terrible and I just don't do it!

cassoppea · October 2011

Meringue...my DD has the same name as yours: Avery Charlotte!

I also used to be a runner. I ran a half marathon when I was 3 weeks pregnant and have not run much since I am afraid she will freak in a jogger when I'm a few miles out so I won't take her out in the stroller yet.

:sigh: so much for getting back into shape.

lynn97 · October 2011

BrandySun:
I was just thinking about this earlier. For the most part, I don't. Since I didn't have Stella until 38, I had plenty of time to get all of the 'fun' stuff out of my system. The onlyy thing I really miss is sleeping in on the weekends (I love my sleep and this kid appears to be a morning person).

I agree w/all of this (only I'm just 32). Still, I had wanted to be a mama for so long and felt so ready for it. Yet, I don't think there's anything about what you're feeling that's abnormal, OP. I had a lot of those moments early on but have settled in much more the past couple months.

simbaby · October 2011

cassoppea:
I just want to go for a run when I feel like it. Ok, and I wish I felt like actually going for a run...
You are not alone. I think its really tough to find a balance between caring for your child and still holding on to the person you were before the baby. It doesn't make you a bad mom at all!
Now, go rock those mom jeans!

Agreed!!!!!

maddiemoon43 · October 2011

I miss the occassional thing for sure, but most days I just miss the simplicity and flexibility of life before.

Really though, I don't miss a lot on a daily basis, and rarely do I wish I could be somewhere else, doing something else at that moment. That said, I DO feel overwhelmed at moments when I think about the fact that this is the new reality for the rest of my life.

It's not so much, "I wish I could be _____ right now," as it is, "5 years from now when I want to _____, I will still need to A, B, and C first." I don't wish that it could be just DH and I again, but I think, "Wow, it will never be just us again." Just crazy to wrap my head around, though I guess I don't really need to worry about the next 18 years tonight!

Oh, and I miss quality sleep. The quantity is there, but the quality is .

kas80 · October 2011

Honestly, no. Aside from sleep that is. I'm a lot happier now than I was before, I think somehow having Caroline pared down everything for me to make it clear what is and isn't important. That simplicity is freeing.

funnylindsay · October 2011

The only thing I really miss is sleep. My bf and I were pretty much the stay at home types anyways so not much has changed in our routine.

DreamChaser246 · October 2011

I think the hardest for me has been the constant, since I went back to work. Even on my "days off" I have to pump in order to keep things going so that I can work during the week. I miss not being so stressed every day about leaving on time to get LO.

DH and I fall in the homebodies group, so we love being at home. I do miss the ability to just go out or just stay out, we have a new curfew now with DS!

kimeve · October 2011

Yep. But I'm in a much better place now than then. So I try not to think about pre-baby life that much.

kathetakite · October 2011

3Girls3xsTheFun:
I had my first daughter when I was a Sr in college so I've never had an adult life to myself, really. I was really involved in my sorority and studied abroad in Ireland, but I never got into much else before I had her. Same for H. We met at a frat party & he is a year younger than me- he was only 21 when Dd1 was born. We both finished school, got jobs & bought our first home when he was 22 & i was 23. I'm sure we missed out on a lot of happy hours and vacations, but we don't have much to "miss," this has been our whole life together.

This is me!!! I got pregnant with DD junior year of college had her at 21 (DH was 23) I was very active in my sorority and greek life before I got pregnant but after that I got a job and it's all we know

kmv68 · October 2011

I even miss the me from a year and a half ago, with the 5 year old kid! Going back to the infant stage where it is 24 hours a day, hands on and never a moment to myself is hard. Even with my 5 yr old we were hiking, going to the beach, having fires in the backyard, always over someone's house...and she was old enough that she could go to a friend's or my niece could babysit while we went out. Now I feel stuck again, and I HATE HATE HATE my body. No matter what anyone says, having a 6 yr old, a 4 month old, a dog, a house and a full time teaching job leaves NO NO NO time to exercise (esp when your little one doesn't always sleep thru the night!).

Thanks for letting me vent! You are not alone.

egpitt22 · October 2011

JayElleJayCee:
I miss my old body.. and I miss being able to make little stops that I avoid like the plague now.

Other than that, I feel like my old life was so boring! I was thinking about it the other day (what would I be doing right now?) and the answer was nothing as interesting as watching my baby girl talking to her toy on the floor.

This is exactly how I feel! When I try to remember what I did every day after work before I had kids, I really can't come up with anything. Or what I did all day on the weekends?? It just seems so far away now.

I do miss it sometimes...I miss sleeping in, being able to do something after work on a whim if I wanted to, etc....but of course, I wouldn't trade this for anything.

klv · October 2011

I hear you. I miss sleeping in on weekends and the spontanious adventures we used to have. And going out for beers. I do miss it sometimes. I don't think it makes you a bad mom. We are all just getting used to a new normal.

aanchor · October 2011

Totally!! I miss drinking a bottle of wine and not feeling guilty about it, I miss sleeping, I miss having lots of money, being on Mat Leave is great but the money SUCKS! I miss my old non-mommy friends.... The list goes on and on but when I look at my sweet babies face I know I made the right decision and life is SOOOO much better than it was before!

Brooklyn2577 · October 2011

Don't feel stupid! Totally normal. Or it was for me. When we had Connor I could not beleive that this was my new life. This was my weekend now? Cleaning up poop and being puked on? I couldn't believe it. It took probably 6 months to accept this is my new normal. And now - I don't even remember what my weekends were like before having kids.

tarahnpaul · October 2011

I so much miss my old life. We were extremely active people; road cycling, running, long walks around the city, hiking, traveling. It has been a HUGE adjustment, especially since I only work 2 days a week now. We are really looking forward to next summer when she is old enough to be in a pack and go hiking and not need to breastfeed every couple of hours.

My parents live 3 hours away, and it would be so nice if they were closer and could watch her sometimes. My IL's watch her one day a week while I work, but they live an hour away, which is not close enough for them to help more than that.

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