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If you have a 3-4 year old, what does visitation look like?
My attorney is faily certain that I will have primary custoday, with STBXH getting my 3.5 year old every other weekend + one overnight per week. I think I'm at peace with this arrangement if XH agrees. I'm just worried that he'll ask for 50/50, but my attorney says there these days, there's no such thing as true joint custody where the kids shuttle back and forth every other week (maybe in WA Sate?)
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Re: If you have a 3-4 year old, what does visitation look like?
My girls are almost three.
He gets every other weekend from 6 pm on Friday until 6 pm on Sunday.
He gets Wednesday afternoon from 4-6:30. He's not taken this visit in over a year.
He gets a week at Christmas (either the week before or after Christmas). He's never done this. Instead, he picks them up for a few hours on Christmas Day.
He gets extended visits for Spring Break - again, never taken.
Typically, if there is a holiday that falls on the Friday or Monday of his weekend, he's supposed to get the girls that extra day. It's never happened.
Oh, and 3 hours on their birthday, up to 8 hours on his.
when we were coming up with the agreement, he had me assign the smaller holidays such as Labor Day, 4th of July, Memorial Day. Christmas, Thanksgiving and Easter we alternate. She is with me every Christmas Eve and wakes with me on Christmas morning.
He gets 2 weeks vacation a year and we each have her on our respective birthdays. His happens to be on New Year's Eve so I assigned him New Year's Day.
I have her most of the time but if her birthday falls on his weekend, then I get to see her for at least 4 hours and the same for him.
We don't have a formal order. We do what works for us.
eta: I have full legal and physical custody.
DS is with BD EOW.
He has said they don't celebrate any other holidays than Christmas and they do their Christmas on Christmas Eve. He goes to BD's house Christmas Eve Eve and comes home late on Christmas Eve so he's here for Christmas Day. If it's a holiday weekend that is BD's, he'll be there otherwise I have him.
For ds' birthday, he's normally with me because his b-days have fallen on my weekend or are during the week. If for some reason his b-day falls on his weekend, I just celebrate the weekend before or the weekend after.
He doesn't ever take him during the week because he says he doesn't have the time.
In my bag
d90
50mm f/1.2 * 28-85mm (Macro) f/3.5-4.5 * 70-300mm f/3.5-4.5
Opteka Fisheye Adapter * Lightscoop
I have primary custody and ex has ds Wednesday nights and every other weekend. It works for us.
A friend of mine has a 50/50 custody arrangement. They do a 2/2/3 schedule. Mon/Tuesday with mom, Wed/Thurs with dad, Fri-Sun with mom in week A. Reverse that in week B. If ex ever asks for more custody I would agree to this type of arrangement as long as we were still in the same city/general area so that ds would be close to school no matter whose house he was at.
I am a lurker who pretty much just found this board today.
I am in a marriage where separation is inevitable. It hasn't yet been discussed officially, but it has been mentioned and is what I want and feel is right for us. Anyway, I have been thinking things out and as far as a custody agreement, this is the same concept I think is the most fair for my family. However, I have a feeling H will fight it. He's already said he doesn't want the girls "gypsying around" and that our current house is their home. I said that is something that would need to be discussed if I decide I want to separate (which I do, I just have to work up the nerve to officially say it).